Solace in Solitude

Solace means to comfort or consolation and solitude means , “to be by oneself”. So, solace in solitude is the idea of finding comfort in one’s own embrace and without any party involved except yourself.

Finding solace in solitude is one of the greatest lessons one can learn in life. Enjoying your alone time creates space in your mind, heart, and soul thus freeing your creativity, mending your heart, and nourishing your soul.

Some of the biggest emotional and/or creative breakthroughs have been achieved by people spending time in solitude. Solitude should not be confused with loneliness as they are completely different things, “psychologists define ‘solitude’ as the state of being physically alone with no one else to communicate with — not to be confused with loneliness, or the feeling of being disconnected from others and longing for connection.”

In the time we live in solitude is rarely achieved, since we all have to be so active on social media platforms and stay in touch with people we have never met in life.

The Personalities of People Who Enjoy Solitude: Not Introversion, but Autonomy and Authenticity

Solitude has long been considered the special domain of introverts. In the popular imagination, they are the ones who embrace their time alone. Through research already hinted, that other factors mattered more, but for the most part, the theories were not dissuaded.

Insecure attachment has also been posited as an important characteristic of people who want to be alone, but for psychologically unhealthy reasons. Insecure people are anxious around others or they try to avoid personal relationships.

People who are autonomous and authentic describe themselves in these three ways, as measured by the Index of Autonomous Functioning:

They experience authorship of their own actions. Sample item: “My actions are congruent with who I really am.”
They are curious about themselves. Sample item: “I am interested in why I act the way I do.”
They are not susceptible to being controlled by other people. Example of an item they disagree with: “I do a lot of things to avoid feeling ashamed.”

Ways of Experiencing Solitude

Valuing their time alone with them self.
The solitude brings out the best in them.
Feeling more relaxed and less stressed when alone.
Becoming more aware of their thoughts and emotions.
They are not undone by their own thoughts and emotions, even when they are negative ones such as anxiety or fear; instead, they are curious about those reactions.
They are not all that tempted to do something just to distract themselves; sitting with their own thoughts is fine.
Never worrying about what other people think they should be doing.

Alone-time Activities of the Authentically Engaged

Doing something they were good at.
Doing something they really wanted to do.
Doing something they were passionate about.
Doing something that was an expression of their values.
Taking a break from tending to others to take care of themselves.

So, it doesn’t have to be one grandiose event after another, rather it may be better to do a bunch of small things, so when you look back, you have a list of joyful moments to refer to. Whether it be pouring yourself a cup of coffee, going to the gym, or watching the sunset, find those moments that compile satisfaction.