Self-Respect

Self-respect is a form of self-love

Self-respect is a form of self-love wherein a person values his or her own unique and unrepeatable approach to living Life. It is having an understanding and appreciation of the underlying character traits of one’s True Self—and most importantly—making life choices and decisions from that authentic aspect of a person’s personality.

This is very different than relying on one’s ego or False Self persona that serves as a cover to show the world only “the good stuff” of a person’s personality.

The reason self-respect is so important is that it is the gift we give ourselves when we become less motivated to please others in order to get their approval and more motivated to live a life of authenticity and personal integrity despite whatever anyone else thinks about us.

However, it is also very difficult for me to show respect to others if I am lacking self-respect. For example, it’s the same as if I wanted to give money to someone, I would first need to have money in my pocket in order for me to give money to that person. The same goes for respect. I can only give it to someone else if I have it inside me—for myself—in the first place.

By. Dr. De’Andrea Matthews

Having self-respect helps others to see and treat you with dignity and worth.

Self-respect is the knowledge that you know your self-worth and that you expect to be treated well and respectfully as a result. Having self-respect helps others to see and treat you with dignity and worth.

Often the backbone of self-respect is knowing your values and living by them. Having self-respect usually means that you need to stand by your character and be willing to defend your values and actions. This can be hard in today’s world when so many influencers are out there to challenge our values.

That said, I would offer that healthy connection to others- either in friendship or in love- cannot come without self-respect. When we treat ourselves with self-love and dignity, we help set a course for others to do the same.

Without self-respect, even the most well-meaning partner, who initially sees their loved one as deserving the best, will start to lose this vision and will begin to see and treat his/her partner only as well as the person values him/herself.

We end up attracting and receiving only as much respect and love as we give ourselves. This can be hard to understand when you are young and fall in love!

I recommend and work on to help individuals come to understand and live by their value system in my practice. We all have core values at some level within us but forget to live by them because there are so many messages being sent to us by outside influences- media, peers, family, etc.

When we take the time to hone in on our core values and begin working to live by them, we begin to exude self-confidence and self-respect. This shapes our interactions and helps others to grow more confident and respectful towards us.

When we live by our values and are willing to accept responsibility for our actions and choices because they are based on these, we find that our interactions with others become more genuine and worthwhile.

Ultimately, our relationships among family, friends and loved ones are positively affected and become more authentic. All of this stems from our need for self-respect.

By. Maria Shifrin, Ph.D.

Self-respect is the feeling of confidence and pride in one’s self. I first earned this from my mom. This lesson came when I was in the fourth grade, and a classmate invited all the students in our class except a couple.

I was one of those not invited for some reason. I must have talked myself into an invite or something because an invitation was ‘put’ in our mailbox a day before the party. The other kids’ were mailed a week before. I was so happy. My mother was not when the whole story came out. So she wouldn’t let me go.

She told me, “if you can’t be the tablecloth, don’t allow yourself to be the dish rag. As the dish rag often gets thrown out with the dishwater.”

“What did this saying even mean?” I thought.

What it meant, she explained, was never allow yourself to be second best by anyone. She told me, “if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” That I was as just as good as the desired kids and never allowed anyone to believe anything less, has always stuck with me.

By. Carol Gee, M.A.