independent children

Teaching a child to be independent is important because it teaches them to think for themselves, be self reliant and take on responsibilities in life. When you teach them to be independent, you are also helping them become confident adults who will successful in life. To become successful in life, you need to work for success by overcoming all the odds, at the same time believing in yourself. Fostering independence in kids give them the ability to believe in themselves. Many people push through their days and live their whole lives not doing the things they dream of, only because they are afraid. They don’t believe in themselves. They are afraid of failing and they have all these limiting beliefs that hold them back when they want to attempt something. Many of them come from childhood programming. As I live through and fight against my own limiting beliefs that got instilled in me as a child, I realize how much I can do as a mother to make my children’s life different. I know that if I teach them to be self reliant, they will grow up being more sure of themselves and venture out into their dreams. They won’t be afraid of failure and trying new things. Some of the things we should do to raise independent children are :

1. LET GO OF YOUR FEAR AND SENSE OF CONTROL-If you have raised a toddler, you know how strong their will to be independent can be. There is no stopping them because they think they can do anything. If you have noticed children in general, they don’t have self doubts about what they can do anything and offer us help too. It is us adults who restrict children because we think of them as incapable. Of course, we can’t let them do anything they ask for. But we need to think before restricting them. So often I have been amazed by the ability of the kids to help in the kitchen or other household chores because I had clearly underestimated them. But if they insist, they should let them do it, it’s far better than how parents thought it would be. Therefore, now we should let go of may fear and the need to control. This alone can help them try various things and increase confident. Instead of judging them and saying”No” outright, we can say, “Let’s try to do this”.
2. AGE APPROPRIATE CHORES-Encouraging kids to take part in household chores is a good idea to make them independent. Understand your child’s abilities and entrust them with appropriate tasks. Your son may not be able to do what your friend’s son does. Each child has different abilities. Therefore, don’t pressurize or compare them with others. The aim is to make them independent, not compare them with others and make them feel bad about themselves. It will lead to just the opposite effect, that is, develop low self esteem and a belief of “not good enough”.
3. LET THEM FAIL-It might feel bad when you see the child struggling with something. You don’t want him to suffer. And love for him might interfere and you will want to do it for him. Children can sense your fear and it will gradually cause children to lose self confidence and have a tendency to be more dependent. So, let them do what they want on their own. Or if you think they are old enough to take care of some of their activities, encourage them to do it. You need to stop in only when something life- threatening happens. Otherwise, just trust and let go of your protective instincts. When they fail, let them try again and again. In fact, there is nothing called “failure’ in life. There are only “lessons”. Every time you try something and fail to achieve the desired result, you learn something new. This will open new perspective for them to view life.
4. MAKE THE HOME ENVIRONMENT SUPPORTIVE-Kids can start doing the tasks that they want if we can set up home environment accordingly. Keep their clothes, toys, utensils and other belonging on the lower parts of storage shelves, so that they don’t have to seek your help for completing chores. You can ask them to get ready to school on their own. And also, they can pick up the toys after playing and put it back without anyone’s help. Keep a safe stool in the bathroom so that the toddler can brush his teeth by himself. Or, reach for things that will help him accomplish his tasks.
5. LET THEM RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS-Kids should understand that there are consequences for their actions. Let them face it so that they learn their lesson from experience. For example, if the child keeps forgetting about keeping books in his bag according to the timetable, let him face the natural consequence once. The lesson from his experience will be far more effective than your constant verbal reminders. When he faces the natural consequences, he will be more self dependent on making changes. For smaller kids, you can them clean the mess they make or make them pick up the toys and ask them to keep everything where they belong.
6. TEACH THEM TO MANAGE MONEY-Teaching kids about money management is a life skill that will decide how independent and successful they will be in the future. The child should be taught to able to let go of so many impulsive purchases and save money and regret, by asking this question to myself. And that decision would most probably be right. When kids ask for more toys, you should remind them about the toys they already have and that they simply don’t need another one now. Instill saving habits in them by encouraging them to save. If they want to buy a toy, help them count and save money for the target amount from their allowances. Now, I won’t ask my young kids to save money for whatever they want to buy. We provide for them and but them what they need.