Kindness Comes at a Cost

Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem ‘Kindness’ portrays the abstract feeling in a different light. We live our lives by being kind and by receiving kindness. But, is kindness all elegant, brighter and a beautiful emotion? Brighter the light is, the darker the shadow will be. In the same way, the journey to appreciate kindness is painful.

The first stanza of the poem starts by stating that unless we go through hardships, difficulties and excruciating pain, we can never feel kindness. We should feel our future melting away and dissolving like salt in a broth. We should feel every single block we had built falling apart one by one and should see things go crazy and beyond control. We should be wrecked and hopeless to feel and see kindness between the regions of dreary and forsaken landscape. When life feels needlessly long and dull, when everyone seems to be busy and no one really cares about what happens to us, the relief that rushes over by one extending hand causes kindness.  

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

To understand how valuable and serious the emotion of kindness is, we must see a man lying dead on the road. We must realise that such a death can occur to us too and we can also be abandoned like that man. We must see how the man was the same breathing living thing with plans and dreams before he could die.  

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Just as the lines below say, we must wake up everyday heavy with sorrow and talk with it to understand what kindness really is. We should confront our sadness and separate each of its strings and weave it into a sorrowful clothing to see how big our sorrow really is. 

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. 

If we do so, then we will see only kindness in every little thing and every little action. It will be kindness which ties our shoes and gives us strength to step into the outside world and do our work. Even among the ocean of bodies and faces, we will spot kindness rising its head and calling to us, “It is I you have been looking for” and following us everywhere “like a shadow or a friend”.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,

These lines make us realize how we take kindness for granted most of the time. The kindness of the mother hidden in the packed lunch box, the kindness of the friend embedded in a lent pen, the kindness of a stranger who says ‘Have a beautiful day’ are slept on by us. Our mother might have lost her good sleep to pack lunch, our friend might have not even had a pen to lend or the stranger would have had a really bad morning. Thus kindness comes at a cost. When it comes, learn to appreciate it and give it back.  

10 symptoms that you are going through stress

1. Mood Swings

2. Frequent or easily crying

3. Lack of focus and concentration

4. Emotionally sensitive

5. Anxious about worst-case scenarios

6. Quick lose of temper or irritability

7. Having issues in decision making

8. Irregular sleep or digestive issues

9. Memory/ recall problems

10. No motivation to do anything

These are the symptoms and you have to take care of them by giving attention to them. The first thing is by reading self-help books. Self-books are the best start to cure your stress. It will be hard to start at first but if you go through them for 21 days then it will become a habit for you and as well as your daily routine. Especially in this lockdown, everyone is facing stress because of confided in our homes. We can also install some apps from playstore to destress our stress.

If you can draw well please draw at least one picture a day to defeat your stress demon. after seeing the outcome of our result our heart will feel light. In these covid times, try to step out of your room and go to your terrace to get some good air. Because staying in our rooms increases the chances of negative vibration.

The next thing many people noticed is staying in a toxic relationship. If you are staying in a toxic relationship try to leave that immediately. It is the biggest stress of your life. This toxic relationship might also turn into verbal and physical abuse in later days. The faster you leave the better your future will be.

Try to stay motivated. I know this is the toughest thing to do. But nothing is impossible if we do some regular practices. Try to do at least one good thing in your day. It can be teaching some underprivileged children by joining some NGO. There are lots of NGOs that want people to volunteer to help those young minds. It will be a good deed for your life.

One of the best things to ease our stress is by doing some breathing exercises. Doing breathing exercises will help you to maintain a healthy heart. Sometimes you might feel it is not good to share your problems with others because they will judge you after hearing your story then try to write them in an online journal. This is the best practice followed by many people and it has helped them a lot. Even I wrote my feelings in an online journal. There are lots of apps available in playstore. Install the one which contains password protection. 

Watch some funny series. If you have a Prime subscription then use it to watch series and you can also read books for free if you have a Prime subscription. Kindle provides a Prime Reading feature for Prime subscribers and you can read famous books for free without spending a single penny. When things come for free we should make the best use of them.

We should not underestimate ourselves. We can write things that we are grateful for. Or the achievements we made till now in our life. Try to write a bucket list and set goals for yourself to achieve them. This will help you to prioritize things in your life. 

‘On Running after One’s Hat’ by G K Chesterton.

“I am done with it! I am irritated! This is frustrating! Why does it happen only to me?”

We face problems everyday and life for no reason keeps throwing something at us. Even when our toe gets hit by furniture, we start cursing and stressing. No matter how trivial or challenging a problem is, we constantly worry about it. But all these problems can be romanticized as adventures after reading G K Chesterton’s essay ‘On Running after One’s Hat’.

The essay starts with Chesterton envying people who were in London when it was flooded. He says that Battersea (a place in London) has always been beautiful and the addition of water has made it appear like Venice. He imagines the boat that bought the meat to have moved with the elegance and smoothness of a gondola (a long and narrow boat). 

“There is nothing so perfectly poetical as an island; and when a district is flooded it becomes an archipelago.”

The optimism of the essayist makes him romanticize the flood which we would normally think of as bringing misfortune, destruction and loss.

“The true optimist who sees in such things an opportunity for enjoyment is quite as logical and much more sensible than the ordinary.”

Most of the instances which we perceive as inconveniences are completely related to our mentality and outlook. The essayist gives an instance for example. When there is a delay in the arrival of the train, the grown-ups complain while the children never do. This is because for children, a railway station appears like a ‘cavern of wonder and a palace of poetical pleasure’. The red and green lights of the signal appear to them as the new sun and moon. So if we view such inconveniences as children do, we shall no more perceive them as inconveniences. All the so-called inconveniences depend on how we view it. 

The second instance the essayist gives is running after one’s hat. Many find it unpleasant to run after their hats after being blown away by wind. They run after a ball in a game but not after their own hat as they find it is humiliating.

“When people say it is humiliating they mean it is comic.”

People find it embarrassing as they are laughed at by other onlookers. Their fretful pursuit serves as a source of laughter. But it is all right because everything a human does is comical.

He also says that running after one’s hat has the potential of becoming a sport and it can be an alternative to poaching. “He might regard himself as a jolly huntsman pursuing a wild animal,…”. The essayist imagines it to be a common sport among the upper class. They would have their personal assistants run after the hat on a windy day and it would provide them a hearty laughter. This will be less painful than animal hunting too. The essayist says that we should be relieved of distress if our actions can provide laughter for others.

The essayist recalls how his friend struggled with a jammed drawer everyday. So, he points out to his friend that he is always finding the drawer troublesome because he always opens it while thinking that it should be easy to open the drawer. He says that the main problem lies with his friend’s outlook. Hence, he advises his friend to think of himself as “pulling against some powerful and oppressive enemy” or as participating in some fearsome tug war. If he imagines such situations when pulling the drawer, then it will no longer be an inconvenience but an adventure.

So, if we develop a positive outlook on everything that we encounter everyday, maybe life won’t be as hard as we think. After all,

“An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.”