“I can pass, at all times, for a quiet, neighborly fellow, yet I have sat more than once, in a railway carriage with black murder in my heart.”

This quote is for you if you had ever hoped for your train journey to end fast, if you had met with passengers who roused your inner devils and had your patience tested by them. We are not always gifted with best travel companions and J B Priestly gives an account of different types of fellow travelers we meet during our journey in his essay ‘Travel by  Train.’

The first type of a traveler is the one who often arouses hatred in others.

“She is a large, middle-aged woman, with a rasping voice and a face of brass.”

Carrying heavy packages in all shapes and varying sizes, she pushes her way into smoking compartments. She glares at everyone around her until a poor victim gives their seat to her. She comes along with a ‘whining cur’ which is only less offensive than the lady by one degree. She wedges herself into the seat and the mood of the whole compartment is completely spoiled by her entry. It will be not long before she gets into trouble for there are few who are bold enough to call her out. 

“From the moment has wedged herself in there will be no peace in the carriage, but simmering hatred, and everywhere dark looks and muttered threats.”

The most common among the travelers who annoy us to varying degrees are those as follows. Firstly, the person who comes with a myriad of luggage packing every old chattel and household utensil. They buy baskets of fruits and bunches of flowers adding weight and misery to themselves and others. Then there are those who forever eat and drink during the journey. As soon as they take their seats, they pass sandwiches and pastry to each other. They talk with their mouths full, scattering food crumbs on those around them. 

“Some children do not make good travelling companions, for they will do nothing but whimper and howl through a journey,…”

Some children either weep throughout the journey or keep smearing their faces with chocolate and try to climb out of the window. There are also these ‘cranks’, as the author calls them, who insist on opening the windows on a cold winter day and on closing the windows on a hot summer day.

There are also these ‘innocents’ who always board the wrong train. Halfway through the journey, they ask if the train is going to their destination. When proved contrary, they get off at the next station looking clueless.

“I have often wondered if these simple voyagers ever reach  their destinations, for it is not outside probability that they may be shot from station to station, line to line, until there is nothing mortal of them.”

The author envies the ‘mighty sleepers’ the most who fall asleep the moment they settle in their seats. While other passengers have to spend their journey in a boring way, they go on adventures and quests in their dreams. But no matter how deep asleep they are, they always wake up two minutes before their destination and get off at the right station.

The author remarks that the Seafaring men are the best companions for they have the best stories to tell. But they are hard to come across. As a contrast, we meet the ‘confidential stranger’ who compels us to listen to his ‘interminable story of his life’ and some boring hobbies. Lastly, there is this elderly gentleman who starts the conversation by telling that “the train is at least three minutes behind time.” On the cue of the slightest interest, he recites the whole railway time table and the essayist warns the readers of such an elderly gentleman.

“Beware of the elderly man who sits in the corner of the carriage and says that the train is two minutes behind the time, for he is the Ancient Mariner of railway travelers,…”

Have you come across any of these travelers? Or do you belong to one of these travelers? Which is your worst train travel? It’s time to think about it.