Humans keep looking at their own flaws and keep condemning them. We spend a large part of our energy on this. But, is it appropriate? Every human has its own limitations.
We totally agree with the insight that comparing ourselves to others is not a reasonable thing to do. We know that every human being and its excellence differs. Similarly, we know that we are unique and extraordinary in ourselves. Everything is known to us. But despite this, why do we evaluate and compare ourselves to others?
Why do we get submerged in the thoughts like -why I’m not like him/her?
Why do we think of ourselves as inadequate and start sinking in the blues?
Why do we start questioning our own validity? Why do we feel that we are not capable of being loved?
Why do so many people get entangled in the cords of such thoughts?
The biggest struggle of a man is with himself. Constantly struggling with the distress that arises within oneself becomes part of his lot. We discover new flaws within ourselves by making excuses. Like – ‘Why I’m alone? I earn very little. Why my life isn’t jovial and sociable?
Why does it make a difference in my behaviour in front of others?’
As you go deeper into such thoughts, this list gets longer and longer. And this undue pressure leaves us completely bereft of life. We do not get time to look at our specialities.
Our attention gets stuck to a fixed notch. Self-critic within us outwears our self-esteem. We start to feel hostility towards ourselves.
Currently, for the whole day either we like to eat, binge-watch tv shows, scroll down to the posts on social media or sleep. But, is it a valid existence? Self-analysis is effective and to improve it over time is even fairer. Self-criticism isn’t that bad either but to let it take precedence over oneself is completely unacceptable.
Accept the fact that at the end of the day you are a human being and you have some limitations. And it’s not irrational.
Yes, we must strive every day to increase our potentials. But, whenever your flaws begin to dominate your existence, this mere fact should be remembered.
We compare ourselves to others. But the problem begins when you look at someone with enviousness and judgmental impressions. The need is to be neutral. With this, you might be able to appreciate and end up getting to know the person better. You will notice that as you compare yourself to someone, they are doing the same. To say that the sense of imperfection is within everyone and everyone is struggling with it.
Everyone has good and bad characteristics. You are no exception, which has some flaws.
Founder of the Centre for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “Look at other people and ask yourself if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them….Without knowing it, we are colouring everything, putting our spin on it all.”
He adds, “When people talk about my shortcomings, then I start feeling my strengths and affection. I realize how many things I love about myself. I like that I am alive and also trying to explore new dimensions of life.”
“Maybe the fear is that we are less than we think we are when the actuality of it is that we are much much more.”
At the moment when you are feeling weak, love yourself the most. You must have realized that when you are a sufferer of anger, anxiety or depression, the attitude of people towards you becomes different. Expecting warmth and compassion from someone at such times becomes a bit challenging. But, by changing your perspective, you can accept this change. You need to learn to cherish yourself. Learn to appreciate yourself. Sometimes this isolation gives you the opportunity for self-realization. At this time you need yourself the most.
Progress should be emphasized, not perfection
Nobody is perfect. You should focus on the quest for an evolved personality. It is more important to know how far you have come than to assess how far you have to go further. We are often worried about the journey ahead, but it is also necessary to stop and see how far we have come. And if our progress is not satisfactory, then we should reconsider our ways. It does not mean that we need to get stuck in the past, it means that we need to learn from our past experiences and prepare to enrich the journey ahead.
We know that the easier it is to say, the more difficult it is to do. But what on earth is easy to find or do? To keep making an effort is a part of the human tendency. Keep appreciating yourself and keep lifting yourself to move forward. Take a step ahead!