Have you ever felt an intense anger for something that ticked you off because of which you unloaded your emotions on someone who didn’t deserve it and then ended up regretting it? The same thing happened with me a few days back and now I regret my previous actions.
Anger is one of the many emotions that humans feel and is very natural but sometimes this anger may not find a proper outlet. It can be misdirected and may be harmful for the one being at the receiving end of it. This may destroy both personal and professional relationships.
Some people may often find themselves getting annoyed with even the slightest of discomforts. In times like this, one should learn to manage them. The first step to deal with one’s anger issues is to acknowledge them and address the nature that instigates it. Sometimes it may be a spur of a moment thing such as getting stuck in traffic or it may be induced by some past traumatic events. Most people resort to high level of aggression when triggered. This natural response may work well as a defense when someone feels attacked but you can’t go on lashing out at every other person for the littlest of things that may bother you. For example: A person dropped his coffee at you as a mistake but then you started verbally abusing him even after he apologized.
Suppression of anger doesn’t work well either since this pent-up frustration may burst one day. Anger should be expressed but in a healthy way, meaning, that the person should keep his needs in an assertive manner and be clear about what actually bothered him. This should not sound demanding or disrespectful. Keeping one’s anger inside without dealing with it can often eat up people from inside and make them bitter. Such type of people then become cynical about everything and try to criticize others at every turn.
Some people are naturally more hotheaded than others which can be attributed to genetic, physiological or sociocultural aspects. Since anger is always perceived as a negative emotion, people never learn to deal with it.
Some easy steps one can resort to are:
- Slowly repeat yourself to be calm.
- Take deep breaths from your diaphragm
- Meditation and some yoga techniques can be helpful
- Take a time out and dissociate your self from the environment leading to your fury
- Stop holding grudges. It does you more harm than others
- Use humor to release tension
Whenever you see yourself getting agitated, always tell yourself that there is no point of getting angry. Learn to address and deal with the root cause of the problems. If you learn to stay calm and look at things with the same attitude, you will be able to come up with the solution to the problem. If there is no solution, then don’t let yourself get frustrated and choose to deal with it head-on. Also, don’t jump to conclusions and end up trying to find yourself a person who can be used as your personal punch bag. This will improve your communication skills and prevent you from spoiling building relationship. If you feel as if you are unable to control your issues, then never shy away from resorting to professional help. Professionals will be able to help you come up with certain strategies and techniques to deal with them.