More about Demisexuality

In today’s world where dating is complicated and sex is seen as a necessity, there exists a section of people who don’t feel sexually attracted to a person unless you form an emotional connection to them. These people require having a meaningful attachment with a person before wanting to take things any further with them. If this sounds familiar to your perspective towards sex, relationship, and emotions, then chances are you ‘demisexual.

The true meaning of ‘demisexuality’ can be defined as ‘A sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond.’ The term comes from the asexuality spectrum. However, this doesn’t mean a demisexual doesn’t aspire for sex. In fact, every demisexual experiences sexual desires.

We understand this can be a little confusing. After all, we only read about sexual and asexual in our biology textbooks, isn’t it? If you are still not sure, demisexuality is for real. To understand better, we suggest you lookout for the following signs of a demisexual.

1. Sleeping together with someone entices you more than having sex: Sex isn’t the most important factor for any demisexual. The idea of sleeping (and spending more time) with your beloved is more peaceful than the act of making love.
2. You like to befriend people before dating: Did you and your partner started off as friends? As a demisexual, you have to be friends first before dating someone. This gives them the time to know each other. However, when it comes to friendship, if a demisexual says,” We are just friends.” They mean it!
3. Personality plays a vital role overlooks: A demisexual doesn’t get turn on by looks; they thrive for deeper connection in people. A good personality is sexy for them.
4. One night stands or casual sex is not your cup of tea: Casual sex, a one-night stand or even kissing strangers is pretty much a no-go for a demisexual.

1. You just don’t feel like being intimate or having sex at all- If you show these signs, you might simply be asexual.
2. You stay away from intimacy for religious purposes or societal pressure- It is very common to feel ashamed of having sex before marriage in some communities but this doesn’t make you demisexual.
3. Personal choice- If you want to stay away from any kind of personal contact for personal reasons, you don’t fall under this category either.
4. you are afraid of sex- If you have a psychology of being afraid or ashamed of having sex for various reasons, you are not demisexual.
5. You don’t feel attracted to the opposite gender in any way- You might be gay ,lesbian or simply asexual if you don’t feel attracted to the opposite gender, but not demisexual.

Sexuality is more of a spectrum than a definition and hence, we should embrace it rather than trying to label it or fit a certain sexuality all the time.