You can save yourself from lots of problems if you learn just one thing which is “a way to say no”. Yeah, I am not asking you to be harsh by saying a hard no but if you can be honest with people about how you feel about something and tell them you can’t do something, it will save you a lot of time and energy.
We often tend to accept anything that people tell us because for us it may be hard to say no to their face or we don’t know how to be honest with them. This one simple thing will change your life. We don’t have to please people every time, in fact it is impossible to satisfy everyone around us and make them happy. Sometimes we have to stand for ourselves and think about our own good and peace.
I want you to pause here and think about the times when people said “no” to you. Why did they not hesitate to say “no”? Did you feel awfully bad when they don’t say yes to you? No, right? You are not hurting others by saying no, you are just looking after yourself when you do that. So there is absolutely no reason to feel bad about saying no.
Nobody can be nice all the time and you are simply hurting yourself by attempting to be one. You are not always responsible for others well being and happiness. I have caught myself saying yes when I was so not interested in doing something or even when I was busy I refused to say no.
This is actually a serious problem, when you put your mental health at risk and accept everyone’s request around you, it will definitely make you feel bad and sometimes people won’t even consider your efforts or in what position you are when you accept their requests so I would say anything that costs your mental health is not worth it.
The bottom line is, if you don’t want it, don’t do it. Being nice will allow some toxic people to get advantage on you. They will think “he/she will never say no so we can use them to complete the work”. I am sure you don’t want to be treated this way. For that, you should learn to put your priorities first before pleasing others. Learning this will benefit you in lot of ways by hurting no one. But every time you say yes, you are hurting yourself. “Saying no is one of the best forms of self-care we can engage in” Washington says. When you say no, you let people know that you are strong enough to put your thoughts first and that you are not there to please anyone. Also you are not hurting the other person. Most times the person is going to understand your situation.
How to say no?
It is not as simple as it sounds but once you start doing it. you will feel really good about yourself.
Imagine, someone comes to you and asks for some help. But you are busy at the moment and you have lot other works. You really want to help that person but you can’t. You can tell the person, “I really wish I could help but sorry I can’t, I have to do another work”. Saying this simply makes it all easier than saying yes to anything that comes to you.
Practice it every time when you really want to say “no” to save yourself from any big responsibilities.