Tag: self love

Clothing you wear and its affect on your self-perception and performance

Did you know that not only the way you think about yourself but also your performance in your studies, work etc. somehow depends on the clothing you wear? Yes, this might seem a little vague and you might say that the interdependence is very trivial.

But, research shows that the clothes you wear can actually change the way you perform.

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This can be elucidated by the example of a play. The stage actors of the play rehearse on random clothes that they are comfortable wearing. But, when they rehearse with their costumes on, you get to see a stark difference in their performance. In comparison to all their previous rehearsals, this time you will see a slight confidence boost throughout the duration of their performance. This is because they experience the character or better yet they get into character more deeper than ever before for the role.

Apparel and presentation communicates volumes about you as a person. The question is not whether you care about fashion, it’s more about what you’re communicating intentionally or unconsciously through your fashion choices. You should be conscious about what you wear and don’t just like you are conscious about what you eat and what you don’t. This includes ignoring the fashion trends that do not fit you or does not make you comfortable just like the way you say no to the food that you are allergic or just intolerant to.

When you’re dressing or grooming, consider what it says about you and whether it’s in line with the message you want to communicate. There’s no right or wrong. It’s all about context. A tie can make you look reliable and rooted in tradition. This might be important at an investment firm, where clients want to know that you’re serious about stewarding their capital. But it can also come off as stuffy and resistant to change, which may be inappropriate for a tech startup.

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Of course, dressing smart is also important for your confidence and sense of self-empowerment. But your style does more than just send messages, to your mind or to others. New research study shows it actually impacts how you think.

“The formality of clothing might not only influence the way others perceive a person, and how people perceive themselves, but could influence decision making in important ways through its influence on processing style” the study says.

The psychology behind is totally subconscious. A gut feeling, commonly called intuition or a first impression, is really part of the very fast-paced mental process of thin-slicing, which is when our brain process visual details instantaneously.

It’s how we continually judge books by their covers, all day, every day.

So choose your personal presentation with care. Presentation includes not only your clothes, but your accessories, hairstyle, fragrance, posture, body language, tone of voice, and the level of energy with which you move and speak. Think of the person that you need to be in any particular situation. Then dress, groom, and accessorize in a way that helps you mentally step into that personality.

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10 ways to self love

Self-love is a popular concept these days, and it looks a little different for everyone. We all have a unique way of loving ourselves. If you’re unsure about how to start showing yourself some love, here are some thought-starters for how to do it today and every day. Read about ’em, try ’em, and then make ’em your own.

1. Create a self-love ritual.

Turn off the TV and unplug from social media for 15 minutes to get centered while moisturizing your skin with intention. As you massage your feet, thank them for getting you to where you need to go; as you moisturize your hands, love them for all the transactions and introductions they’ve helped you with throughout your life. For a moment, stop taking your body for granted and shower yourself with gratitude.

2. Build a precious community.

As much as we would like to think we can, we can’t do everything ourselves. We need the support and love from people around us to stay motivated and on track. Research shows that positive energy is contagious, so whether you’re building a network or planning to go to a fun event, it’s always important to have a community you value around you regularly.

3. Make a “What’s Working for Me” list.

Truly loving yourself comes from self-acceptance. And one helpful step toward getting to that point of self-acceptance is recognizing what you already have that’s great by writing a “What’s Working for Me” list. Once you see it on paper and accept all of the positivity in your life, it will make it that much easier to love yourself.

4. Know that your body is a loving vessel.

Treating your body like a loving vessel will boost not only your self-love but also your energy. Be intentional about what you put into your body, not because you want to look good but because you want to feel good. Feeding your body nutrient-rich foods will have you oozing love out of every pore.

5. Clean out your closet.

Tidying is more therapeutic than you might think, and getting rid of old things will make room for new ones to come into your life. Cleansing your mind can sometimes work in the form of letting go of clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc., that remind you of a certain time in your life that links to a negative vibration. Don’t chase what’s already happened; love yourself enough to know the best is yet to come.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others on social media.

We’ve all done it. Browsed through social media only to see our favorite media personalities in the middle of a photoshoot for their new books, just after they had awesome shopping sprees and right before the post about their engagements. WHAT?! But remember that these positive pics on the Internet don’t always tell the whole story, and everyone—yes, everyone—has bad days.

7. Explore your spirituality.

Faith is the foundation for self-love. Whether or not you’re religious, believing in something opens up your soul to the beauty of belief and trust. It will build your intuition and help you make decisions based on your intuition. When you explore your spirituality, it will also take you on a journey to learning things about yourself, and those new thoughts, feelings, passions, and raw emotions will make you appreciate yourself for being authentically you.

8. Do something you’re good at.

If this isn’t the ultimate self-esteem booster, I don’t know what is! Self-esteem and self-love often go hand in hand, and participating in a hobby you’re good at will not only boost your endorphins but will bring out the best version of you. If you love to cook, then cook! If you love to run, then grab those sneakers, head outside, and run.

9. Find your happy place.

Think of a place that makes it simple to just be. Sit quietly and embrace the here and now, not thinking about what’s due at work or what bills need to be paid.

10. Build your letting-go muscle.

We’re constantly holding onto things in our past, which can weigh heavy on our souls and even give us low self-esteem. The more blocks we clear, the more we can really live big in the area of self-love. Although we may do this as a way to protect ourselves from hurting, it’s really only holding us back from moving forward to reaching optimal self-acceptance and loving who we are.

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Learn to say “no”

You can save yourself from lots of problems if you learn just one thing which is “a way to say no”. Yeah, I am not asking you to be harsh by saying a hard no but if you can be honest with people about how you feel about something and tell them you can’t do something, it will save you a lot of time and energy.

We often tend to accept anything that people tell us because for us it may be hard to say no to their face or we don’t know how to be honest with them. This one simple thing will change your life. We don’t have to please people every time, in fact it is impossible to satisfy everyone around us and make them happy. Sometimes we have to stand for ourselves and think about our own good and peace.

I want you to pause here and think about the times when people said “no” to you. Why did they not hesitate to say “no”? Did you feel awfully bad when they don’t say yes to you? No, right? You are not hurting others by saying no, you are just looking after yourself when you do that. So there is absolutely no reason to feel bad about saying no.

Nobody can be nice all the time and you are simply hurting yourself by attempting to be one. You are not always responsible for others well being and happiness. I have caught myself saying yes when I was so not interested in doing something or even when I was busy I refused to say no.

This is actually a serious problem, when you put your mental health at risk and accept everyone’s request around you, it will definitely make you feel bad and sometimes people won’t even consider your efforts or in what position you are when you accept their requests so I would say anything that costs your mental health is not worth it.

The bottom line is, if you don’t want it, don’t do it. Being nice will allow some toxic people to get advantage on you. They will think “he/she will never say no so we can use them to complete the work”. I am sure you don’t want to be treated this way. For that, you should learn to put your priorities first before pleasing others. Learning this will benefit you in lot of ways by hurting no one. But every time you say yes, you are hurting yourself. “Saying no is one of the best forms of self-care we can engage in” Washington says. When you say no, you let people know that you are strong enough to put your thoughts first and that you are not there to please anyone. Also you are not hurting the other person. Most times the person is going to understand your situation.

How to say no?

It is not as simple as it sounds but once you start doing it. you will feel really good about yourself.

Imagine, someone comes to you and asks for some help. But you are busy at the moment and you have lot other works. You really want to help that person but you can’t. You can tell the person, “I really wish I could help but sorry I can’t, I have to do another work”. Saying this simply makes it all easier than saying yes to anything that comes to you.

Practice it every time when you really want to say “no” to save yourself from any big responsibilities.

Happy day!

Why Your Twenties Matter

You are just stepping into your 20’s and want to live life on your terms. You are in that zone where you don’t want to be told about what needs to be done. As they say, your 20’s are the “defining decade”, because they define who you’ll become personally and professionally.

Here are some things that you should do in your 20’s to make the most of them.

  • Figure out what you want to pursue

Take a break, try out new things, do internships, learn new skills. Discover what you want from your life and ask yourself where you see yourself five years down the line. Most of the time it doesn’t matter where you think you’ll be in five years, but it’s important to think about it because doing so can give you the idea you want to pursue.

  • Travel

You don’t know what the real world looks like. Now you don’t have family obligations so use this time to meet different people, live with them, and understand their thoughts and culture; learn how to survive independently.

  • Start taking care of your body

It is much easier to build a habit of taking care of your body in your 20’s than in later years. The study showed that most people who adopted five healthy habits in their 20’s – a lean body mass index, moderate alcohol consumption, no smoking, a healthy diet, and regular physical activity – stayed healthy well into middle age.

  • Start letting go of your ego

We must learn to control our egos. It can cause a lot of problems for us over time and create turmoil in our relationships.

  • Have standards not expectations

A standard is a level of quality, something that is accepted as a norm and generally used as a basis for judgment. An expectation is a strong belief that something is going to happen in the future or a feeling that someone or something is going to achieve something. One is fact, the other fiction.

  • Learn to say ‘NO’

It’s hard to say no cause you don’t want to jeopardize your good relationship with the person you are saying “no” to. However, it is difficult to do so but you need to stop pleasing people and value your time and priorities. 

  • Distance yourself from negativity

Life is too short to let people make you feel like you aren’t worthy of what you want. Don’t waste your time with people trying to feel better about themselves by tearing you down. Create space for positive people who believe in your dream, encourages your ideas, and challenge you to bring out the best in you.

  • Volunteer in your community

Volunteering is a way to help you find new interests and strengths that will help you with new career opportunities. It helps you to change your perspective about things in your life and makes you feel grateful for all that you have. It reminds that you are a part of something bigger than yourself.

Your Twenties aren’t about them going as you planned. But how you adapt, change, and grow when they don’t.

THE ART OF LOVING THYSELF .

In this fast pacing world with ever increasing competition , the struggle to be at the top , and everybody’s desire to become ‘successful’ , we are slowly becoming so very self critical and judgemental towards ourselves . We are so desperate to be the very best that we are blindly running in this rat race and not realising that we all have our own paths that we need to follow . We are slowing loathing ourselves for everything that we are not , instead of loving ourselves for all that we are . This constant comparison that we do with others is just not the healthy way of becoming a better version of ourselves . Here are a few points to remember before you start comparing and critiquing yourself:-

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EACH ONE OF US IS UNIQUE- We all have different sets of talents and things that we are good at , be it dancing , singing , writing , photography , or being academically gifted. We just need to find out what we are good at and what we like instead of comparing ourselves . You might have the qualities of becoming a great teacher and you might be unaware of it , or have an inclination towards cars or computers . Your likes and dislikes makes you more unique and more YOU , so embrace it and find your uniqueness. This will help you find your own path in life and automatically halt the comparisons .

DIVINE TIMING – We often want instant results and are impatient . Seeing our friends getting their dream jobs or succeeding makes us feel bad about ourself because we seem to be exactly where we were, despite the hardwork and dedication . This can be frustrating , but you will succeed when its your time to.This statement seems pretty phoney, but its not ,there is room for everyone to succeed , we just need. to be patient and continue to persevere. Our time will come .

WE ALL ARE ON DIFFERENT BOATS- Its true , we are all on different boats , with different sets of obstacles and challenges , so its not practical to compare each other . Every human is dealing with problems that differ from ours. We must understand this and realise that just like there is no comparing between the sun and moon , we humans can’t be compared either.

ITS IMPORTANT TO FAIL SOMETIMES – After failing a test or a job interview we tend to feel a deep sense of disappointment and tend to levitate towards self doubt and fall in the labyrinth of comparing ourselves . But it’s imperative to know that its okay to fail sometimes and its actually good . Failure is a good teacher and helps us understand the areas we need to work on . So next time you fail at something , try to learn from it instead of hating yourself.

SELF LOVE : a step to be yourself

There is nothing wrong with putting your happiness first. It’s SELF LOVE

Self love, the two very beautiful words that opens up a way to fascinating life, not for others but of course for yourself.

Many people take self love as becoming selfish. Let me take the honour of correcting them. Dear, self love dosen’t mean that one is becoming selfish. From the childhood  we have been taught that our action should not hurt others, you can’t be happy if you hurt others, you should keep everyone happy. But what about us? Should we give the responsibility of our happiness to others? Is there any guarantee that other people will definately keep us happy or is there any guarantee that our one action will keep everyone happy? The answer to this is a big no. We can’t keep everyone happy and satisfied. Here not thinking about anyone dosen’t meant that you hurt someone intentionally and justify your action with self love. That’s of course wrong.

Thinking about ourself first, thinking for our happiness first dosen’t make us selfish. It is the most powerful thing that you can do in your whole life. Self love dosen’t give only happiness , it gives us motivation. Strength of facing difficult situations in life, builds up decision making capability because if you have learnt to love yourself then you can easily decide what is good for you and which decision of yours will make you more happy. It is the root of all. If you think that you can keep others happy, can love others unconditionally without loving yourself first then, so sorry dude, you are wrong. You can give someone something only when you own that thing and that’s why you can love someone unconditionally only when you love yourself unconditionally. Everything around you begins with yourself first. Each and every person deserve to be loved, not only by others but by own first. Start appreciating yourself for what you have done, start motivating yourself for what you want to achieve, celebrate your achievements. Trust me you will start feeling better, you will start to live better.

How to keep yourself happy

 

Start to know yourself. Start working on things that makes you happy. true self love is giving yourself unconditional respect, love and appreciation. It’s reminding yourself that you are worthy, valuable and deserve all the happiness. You can follow the following brilliant tips to start loving yourself first :-

  • Clear your mind : Make yourself clear about what you actually want and try to ignore all if and but. Here ignoring if and but dosen’t mean inviting problems by doing unjustified act. Doing anything with a baggage of doubt or by force can never give you a complete satisfaction and of course if you are not satisfied with what you are doing then you can’t be happy.
  • Follow your passion and hobbies : Start taking out few hours from a day for your passion or the thing what you like to do, thing that makes you feel better. every person have a some kind of hobbies but they tend to ignore those things in the pressure of their job or their hectic schedule. Try to invest a bit of your precious time in your hobbies as well. It will give you mental peace and will also enhance your working capacity.
  • Stop comparing yourself : All the problem starts with comparison. When you compare yourself with another creature, you feel demotivate. You feel like there is a person who is far better than you and for this you start blaming yourself also that why are you not like him/her. Why can’t you think it this way that each person in respect of other is different? Why can’t you think that you also possess some good qualities? Start thinking this way. You will improve. No person in the whole world is just perfect. Each and every person have some kind of good thing or bad as well. So, just accept yourself and try to improve only, not change or like anyone else. Be the improved version of yourself only.
  • Surround yourself with people with you feel good : This is important. Toxic people can destroy our each step towards our happiness. They are the biggest hurdle between us and our happiness. Directly they don’t target but their action does. Pick few people from your squad who are innovative, with whom you feel happy and comfortable. Their company will enhance your inner peace.
  • Accept what you cannot love : Every person have some bad sides, we have talked about this above as well. It’s easy to love what you love about yourself but not for what you don’t. Try to understand this very carefully. You don’t need to force either yourself or your mind to love what you don’t. Accept your flaws and just focus on improvement. Self love dosen’t mean that you are supposed to love everything about yourself. That will definately make you selfish. Just accept that yes, I am bad at this and I’ll improve rather than blaming, ‘oh god! Iam bad at this, now what next, blah! blah! blah!

So dear, take a deep breath, start thinking and start working for yourself as well. Only you can make you happy.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

You really need to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

                                                                                          -Lucille Ball

A Guide for your Mental Health

Many teenagers have developed a well-known problem amidst the pandemic- anxiety. It is no lie that many of us spend our time sitting idle in our rooms, just wondering over things and overthinking about life. Gradually we start to sense an uneasy aroma around us. We begin to get overwhelmed about stuff and commence to screech at petty things. However, this is not the main problem; the pain arouses when we begin to grieve over our behavior. We have no choice but to stumble down due to weighing bars of grief. Gradually, teenagers endure panic attacks, anxiety disorders, and perhaps OCD. Hence, let us examine we can deal with it by taking mere footsteps. While the topic of mental health awareness has recently made its way to social media, the origins of mental illnesses operate deep into history. Therefore, our foremost step becomes to study more about it rather than being ashamed of it. It is a common cliche that knowledge is one of the most vital resources, so why not examine mental health disorders? Invest your valuable time in productive activities. Try spending some time listening to cheerful music, watching birds, artwork, reading valuable books, and playing board games with your family, and yoga. Besides all these things, you need to have a good diet and enough sleep. Also, try eating healthy food like salads, fruits, chapatis, etc. Perhaps this may sound challenging, but seek help from your friends and family. Communicate your enigmas through unshamed conversations. This step will help to lay of weighing insecurities. You can always seek help from the experts in this criteria. Numerous emotional factors significantly affect our fitness level, like depression, aggression, negative thinking, anxiety, frustration, etc. Yet, these factors could be avoided with consistency in your routine and faith in yourself. Try making mere changes in your lifestyle today for a vibrant tomorrow. We can not deny the fact that it will take time, maybe a year but keep going. Several people with mental illnesses are now striving to raise awareness of disorders like depression and anxiety, and some claim that the best way to educate about mental illnesses is to teach about them in schools. Hence, schools and colleges should host interactive sessions to discuss the importance of mental health. Via educating about mental illnesses in schools, activists hope to build understanding about the topic and limit teenagers who have mental illnesses from feeling abandoned. This step has the strength to reduce teenage suicide rates. Remember, man; is entirely deemed superior to other animals because of his highly advanced brain. Hence, a person needs to keep both his body and brain fit and well. Both mental health and physical health go hand in hand and are evenly significant for optimum performance and quality of life. Never be ashamed of what you are feeling, do not let your emotions bottled up. “One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” — Linda Poindexter.

Battling Loneliness

Loneliness, a dangerous pandemic which is spreading faster than coronavirus. This I would say, is a disease that cannot be cured by medicine but is the consequence of inattentiveness from the side of friends and family. Introverts are often confused with loners because both are detached from the outside. But introverts like it being that way because they prefer to spend time with themselves and they have their own little world to think about and live in it. But people become loners due to less interaction with outside world and become mentally low and go into a shell. It takes some special efforts to bring them out of that shell. That efforts needs to start from family because not all of them can understand one’s difficulties and problems. Only a close family member often checks on you and notes even the slightest changes in your behaviour. They must feel special so that they come back again. But sadly, the families are busy with their own work that not only at times they forget to notice others but also forget to look upon themselves. At that time, friends come to the rescue. Friends are nothing but an extended family though they don’t stay with you all the time. But still friends can turn out to be more comfortable to be with, to share problems and find solutions. A friend can sniff out the difference in you sometimes even before your family. But for those without much close friends, it is even more a difficult task to come out of loneliness. Loneliness can make a person mentally unstable leading to anxiety and depression. It is mainly due to the fact that they get neglected or unnoticed for some reason.

Here are a few tips for those loners who want bring back their self and stop waiting for others to show some love:

  • A new world into books: For people who feel lonely, there can never be a better companion than a book. A book becomes your best friend when you slowly start developing the habit of reading.
  • New hobbies: We just have one life and use your lifetime to learn more and explore. The more you dig deeper, the more it gets interesting. And the main part is, it keeps you busy!
  • Gardening: Flowers and plants are so refreshing to see and even more refreshing to grow. Being around a place full of plants and flowers uplift our mood putting a smile on our face.
  • Grow a pet: There can be no greater friend than your pet. It always disturbs you, it would do anything to seek your attention. With such a companion, no one could ever feel lonely.
  • Team sports: Team sports are a great way to make new friends, have fun and find back a way to yourself.
  • Fitness: If you are a fitness freak, you might very well be able to battle loneliness because your body is your friend and you get to concentrate on yourself instead of expecting it from others.
  • Reconnecting with others: Don’t expect others to notice. When you feel you need attention, you can always reconnect with your close ones just by a phone call.
  • Be active online: Being active on social media can become an addiction, but still is a lot way helpful for finding new friends and relationships.
  • Feel positive: Never think negative about anyone or yourself. Start loving yourself that you would begin to take care of yourself. Spread positivity to everyone. Do notice what’s happening around, especially around your people. There are chances someone might be feeling lonely too! Feel happy, be happy!!

Relevant links:https://indianexpress.com/article/opinion/battling-the-hidden-pandemic-of-loneliness-mental-health-7270437/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness

Self love is the best love

Many people think that the concept of self-love is overdrawn and they ignore it. A lot of studies have shown that self-love is the key to mental wellbeing
Modern society is shaped in such a way that we are sort of bound to constantly compete against each other or even ourselves.Love is the only thing that keeps us going and makes us less robotic in a world. Everyone needs love and we spend most of our energy on loving others — be it friends, spouses, children or family.We cannot always expect to rely only on external sources for love and that is where the concept of self-love comes in. A person who practices self-love will never need to depend on others to be happy and it is an empowering feeling to be happy on the inside.

Self-love is not being selfish, it is just putting yourself first and not being too tough on yourself. So next time you hear that little voice in your head telling you that you are not good enough or that you cannot afford to make mistakes , just ignore it.When our loved ones make a mistake we often forgive them easily, but when we make a mistake we are often too hard on ourselves.

The first step of self-love is realising that we are only human and it is okay to make mistakes; it is okay to lose at times; it is okay to not have the best day.All we need to do is love ourselves and let the negative things pass through.Bad times will pass.

Self-love has many benefits.The first benefit is greater life satisfaction. When we love ourselves more we instantly change our perspective of the world. Self-love can give us a more positive attitude towards life.The second benefit of self-love is that it can encourage us to pick up good habits. Self-love means loving your body, soul, and mind. Therefore, people who love themselves often refrain from doing things that will have an impact.It helps us to develop good habits.

If you start loving your body and mind more than others you will be the most happiest person in the world.
Most important benefit of self-love is better mental health. People who love themselves are less likely to suffer from anxiety or depression; self-love takes us in the way where there is a positive mindset which is an essential ingredient for success in life and for mental wellbeing.Learning to love yourself also reduces stress and makes you more focused at work.Put yourself a little higher on your priority list; think highly of yourself as the world takes you at your own estimate.Consider yourself important too,love yourself as much as you love your friends and family.When your depressed or sad don’t be angry on yourself because you may like that same thing when you see that in a positive side.Happiness and self-love are interconnected; and we all deserve to be happy. Self-love is the key to happiness and a person who is happy is in a far better position to achieve success in every aspect of life.

The Art of Self Acceptance

How often do you look at yourself and think that you’re not good enough? That you should have performed better at that test, or maybe should have been slimmer, taller, had a clear skin? In general people blame themselves most of the time for not being good enough. Most of us have become adapt to self-criticism in this high pressured society. And it is not bad at all, to know your weakness and criticize yourself and learn from your mistakes seems like the best way possible to achieve your goals. Self-criticism motivates you but often we become so good at self-criticism and finding our mistakes that we forget to accept our downfalls. Falling prey to excessive criticism often make you depressed, doubt your potential and makes you give up even before trying. Then comes the phase of self-flagellation, where you beat yourself mentally for not being good enough. In easier words it can be called self-blaming, when you blame yourself too much for things that are not even in your control. This might actually affect your performance, making you perform worse than you usually do. You might even lose the will to get up and start, and simply procrastinate.

Depression and self-hatred are serious enemies of life

You need to appreciate the role of self-care, because it’s not only criticism that makes you work. We are so obsessed with success that we fail to acknowledge the scale of challenges and that everyone has some weaknesses. What is easy for your friend might not be that easy for you and vice-versa. The path to your decided goal does not have to be that spotless. You can fall and start all over again anytime. The society might have made you believe that you have to write the entire poem alone but in reality, we all are here to add our own small verses. Daily we routine ourselves to achieve that goal that often you forgot who you are. You are so much more than the degree you completed, maybe the race you won or the test you aced. These materialistic achievements only make up about 20% of the person you genuinely are.

Stop comparing yourself with others

Social media has made you believe that everyone except you in this world is rich and beautiful. And thus you are running after that artificial lifestyle some influencer pretends to have. You are depressed because you weren’t able to pass that exam that someone else did. You want to get that flat stomach, and a sharp jaw line that he has because that might make you look cooler than before and everyone around you will love you more. The more you know about diets, exercise and perfect bodies, the more you become dissatisfied with your body. The more you look at luxurious lives of people on media, the more you become disappointed about what you have been doing all your life. Comparison will take you nowhere because it never ends, there is always a person with something bigger than you. Instead self acceptance is the key to an actual satisfaction. When will it be that we stop justifying, people pleasing, looking outside ourselves for validation about our worth that we know comes from within?

Get rid of that hypothetical mask you are carrying with yourself

Have you ever recorded your voice and felt uncomfortable with the way you sound? Might have, many times but have you ever realized that everyone around you has listened to that voice and they are okay with that. When you look at a random recording of yourself you are unpleased by the way you look, or talk. There’s no way I look/sound like that. But everyone else has looked at you the same way. Everybody is already okay with you and it is you who need to accept yourself. The standards on which you judge yourself are often based on the ones you see on social media or television. But the final product they post/show us is actually a product of photo shop and hundreds of retakes. Reality has no retakes and it is okay to be what you are.

Self-acceptance and Self-compassion

People take responsibility of everything that happens in their life, or will blame their luck for most of the part. Luck is a genuine feature of existence but by blaming yourself or your luck, you also rob yourself the opportunity of fair conciliation. No one is entirely in control of the things that happen around them, sometimes it is okay to fall or maybe crash. You need to reduce expectations to zero for a time. Take each new hour as it comes, and without being banal, what you need most of all, is some rest. Self-compassion is not equal to self pity; you need to give yourself a break even if you feel like you haven’t done something big. Humans were not created to achieve, they were created to live and that is what you have been doing. Don’t be too hard on yourself, life is not a race, it is a puzzle take your time.

The people who love you will still love you for who you are and not for what you have achieved. It is okay to not being able to achieve what you wanted, it is okay to learn from your mistakes but it is not okay to fall prey to the never ending cycle of needs. Success doesn’t necessarily have to be something big, it can be small things. Completing that assignment you have been procrastinating is also a success. There is no set time to achieve it or a scale to decide how much success is enough to be successful.

Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before Graduating School

It’s again the time to apply for colleges while you’re just out of school. This stage in life always involves uncertainty and stress, and in addition COVID-19 has made it even more challenging for students. Here are some things I wish I knew before I got out of school-

It’s okay to not have everything figured out just yet

I’m sure you have heard all types of questions about your future- ranging from which college would you like to get into to what do you want to major in, from what type of career do you want after college to what’s your plan-B. If you know the answer to such questions then, congratulations you’re the lucky one. But It’s okay if you don’t know the answers to these right now. Most people don’t have their entire life figured out at age of 17/18. You’ll get there eventually. Try exploring one question at a time instead of stressing about all of these at once. Small steps, remember?

Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone

This is probably one of the biggest things I had to learn after getting out of school. It’s so important that you learn to step out of your comfort zone while you’re in school. School offers you a very sheltered environment, but college doesn’t. You’ll have to make ways to achieve things you want and even go and extra mile for them. Inculcating this habit will benefit you in the long run. You surely don’t want to miss out on opportunities in college simply because you were afraid to take a risk.

You and your friends might grow apart

I was fortunate enough to experience my school friendships grow even stronger after leaving school. But this wan’t the case with most of the friend groups in my school batch. It is something that happens when you all jet off to different cities, when you meet new people who you connect with better or when you see that people who you were close to in school aren’t making as much effort to communicate as you are, which happens a lot. It’s highly unlikely for your entire friend group to end up in the same university or college after graduation or for them to make the same efforts they were making when you all were meeting each day. Either way, don’t be discouraged if you realise you’re not as close as you were in school.

ask for help

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s your pride or your fear holding you back, try and get over it. You don’t have to force yourself to struggle when you can ask the ones you trust for help. Whether it’s related to academics or your personal struggle adjusting to a new environment, reach out for help. Looking back you will wish you had asked for help when you had the chance to. This will make your life a lot more easier.

PRIORITIzE your health, physical and mental

Learn to prioritize your health and pay attention to what your body needs from you. Pulling all nighters day after day after day will destroy you and your focus. And No, you can’t survive the whole day at college on a diet of lays and coke forever. Don’t skip your meals. Your health is very important.

You don’t have to be the same person you were in high school

College is the perfect time to reinvent yourself. It’s the perfect time to unlearn concepts and opinions that you no longer agree with. It’s the perfect time to to better yourself educating yourself with issues that are revenant around you. University offers you an environment suitable to reinvent yourself, it offers you the space to give educated opinions and to find like minded people who you willingly want to interact with online school where you had to interact with your classmates only. If you were the brainiac that always had a secret passion for art, then join your college’s art club. If in school you were into sports but always appreciated and enjoyed debating, then join the debate club while participate in the sports activities of your choice. You don’t have to stay the same and that’s the beauty of it.

How Can You Avoid Getting Sucked Into Toxic Behaviour Online

A lot of us, without even realising, engage in toxic and unhealthy behaviours online. I’ll shares some tips that I follow for avoiding getting sucked into such behaviours.

RECOGNISING TOXIC BEHAVIOUR ONLINE

People today are always on some form of social media all the time, whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, the list is never ending. Though using social media has its own benefits, I feel as though a lot of people get trapped in unhealthy behaviour patterns online without even knowing, as it isn’t something we talk about often.

step 1: Unfollow the ones you compare yourself to

It is a drastic step, but I really do believe that this helps you to stop comparing yourself to others online. If you compare yourself to people online and if you’ve been doing for a while, then it will be natural for you to compare yourself to the ones that you deem perfect. The best way to stop doing this, is to unfollow such accounts and fill your feed with accounts that are raw and make you feel good and real about yourself. After you have completed this step, you will begin to feel positive about yourself when you scroll your feed.

step 2: Make yourself Realise that it’s just one photo not their whole life

When you post a picture on any social media platform, do you tend to post when you’re having a bad day, or do you post it when you know you look your best? It’s more likely that you post a picture when you feel good about yourself, when you’re enjoying yourself, when you’re having fun and you then post the highlight of your day. When we look a someone’s picture, we automatically assume that you know everything about their lives, and that everything in their life is as perfect at their post. When you realise that every single person tends to post only the bits of the day that they love or enjoy, the sooner you’ll be able to ditch the unhealthy pattern and it will instantly make you feel good and much happierWhen you realise that every single person tends to post only those bits of their day that they love or enjoy, the sooner you’ll be able to ditch this unhealthy pattern and it will instantly make you feel good and much happier about where you are in life.

step 3: Set aside time to scroll

But I seem to have even 5 free minutes to myself I will pick up my phone and scrolled through my social media feed as if it is my daily newspaper. But this is something that I am working on and that something that you should aim to change too. The more you endlessly scroll through your social media feed, be it any platform, the more you will be out of touch with reality. That is why it is important to set aside some time for scrolling. In a long run this would allow you to focus throughout the day on things that you actually need to do as you know whenThat is why it is important to set aside some time for scrolling. In a long run this would allow you to focus throughout the day on things that you actually need to do as you know when you have allotted time to scroll.

Social Media can be a positive and an empowering place, but when/if it starts to have a negative impact on your mental health then something needs to change. Start making these small CHANGES today – you can do it

Minimalism and You

“Minimalism” has become the new buzzword with YouTube, podcasts encouraging people to adopt a minimalist life style. But what exactly is minimalism? Would you call yourself a minimalist based on your everyday habits? If yes, then what type of minimalist would you classify yourself into? Let’s try to understand the philosophy of minimalism in the simplest ways.

Origin of Minimalism

Minimalism became popular back in 1950s when artist Frank Stella’s “Black paintings” were displayed at the Museum of Modern art in New York. It started a new movement altogether breaking the conventional notions of arts. Later, many artists came to the forefront producing minimalist art.

The main themes of minimalist art were simplicity, harmony and purity. Aesthetically, the minimalist art is all about being real (Nothing more or nothing less).

Black painting at the gallery

Who is a minimalist?

Now, minimalism isn’t about living in all white houses with bare minimum objects (you could, if you’d like to). But don’t unnecessarily push yourself. To put it simply, minimalism is the art of appreciating thing in their simplest forms. It’s about making a conscious choice of spending money on experiences rather than things.

Now, I’m not implying you get live life of a monk from Himalayas and get rid of you possessions. Minimalism is about getting rid of things but rather eliminating the unnecessary and shifting focus to what matters the most.

Essence of minimalism could be summed up in “less is more”. For example, the lesser you spend on that luxury watch for the sake of showing off, the more you can spend on worthy holiday experience. The lesser you attend superficial parties; you’d be rewarded with extra time for self investment.

Now there’s no “one size fits all”. Minimalists come in all shades .It’s more of an umbrella term. So you better figure out for yourself “what type of minimalist are you?” No worries! Even if you don’t fall into any of these categories. There are lots of takeaways from each type.

The Essentialist

Are you someone who focuses on quality over quantity? You own few things but they are the finest collection. Like instead of buying dozens of clothes from that online sale you’d rather invest in that superior quality dress and wear it often.  You would any day choose owning fewer things over piling and wasting them.

The Experientialist

Do you prefer collecting experiences over things or swear by the philosophy of making maximum memories.

If your bucket list is larger than your ‘Things to own list’, pat yourself at the back for being an experientialist.

The Enoughist

Are you contended with what you have despite not having it all? If you find peace in voluntarily using enough; also deliberately choose not to get into the rat race for materialistic pursuits. Go ahead; call yourself an Enoughist if those new launches every week in the market doesn’t crave you enough.Are you contended with what you have despite not having it all? If you find peace in voluntarily using enough; also deliberately choose not to get into the rat race for materialistic pursuits. Go ahead; call yourself an Enoughist if those new launches every week in the market doesn’t make you crave for more.

The Eco-Minimalist

Are you someone who is highly environment conscious? You fill your house with plants and plant based products. You prefer buying environmentally sustainable products even though they cost you extra bucks. Ditching plastic all the way and embracing natural products. If that sounds like you, kudos! Mother nature loves you.

 The Soul Minimalist 

Soul Minimalist is someone who prefers in cleansing of soul, eliminating negativity and practicing mindfulness.A soul minimalist is someone who gives importance to healthy relationships, investing in emotional well being and cutting toxicity. Having a peaceful world on the inside cultivates happier surroundings.

 In the end, being a minimalist is about making a conscious choice. Putting efforts in enhancing the quality of your life. You don’t have to fit yourself into any of these so called labels. You can be everything you want to as long as you’re progressing in the direction of self growth.

Remember, it’s your journey. Don’t compare and confine yourself. Take charge of your life’s story and invest in what matters.