Tag: self-help

CAN JEALOUSY BE OUR TEACHER ?

We all have big dreams , big aims and we all are working hard to achieve it . But if we are unable to do so , and somebody else does it before us , we are consumed with jealousy . It is definitely not a positive emotion , and can be harmful if it exceeds a limit , but a proportionate amount of jealousy can be your teacher , here’s how ,

JEALOUSY HELPS US UNDERSTAND OUR WANTS – When we get jealous of something someone has achieved, it actually helps to understand our true wants and desires that we are unaware of , or we are trying to suppress . Jealousy acts as an indicator to help us understand what we want . So next time you get slightly jealous of someone getting a promotion or a new job , try asking yourself is that what you desire ? Jealousy and fear come from the same place , and you can overcome that by trying to understand your jealousies .

JEALOUSY HELPS US UNDERSTAND OUR TRIGGER POINTS – We all have certain trigger points that really upset us but jealousy , helps us identify these trigger points . Your trigger points are caused due to your insecurities , beliefs and self doubts , and jealousy helps you identify them . If you are able to understand your trigger points , you are one step close to self awareness and self discovery which helps you become a better version of yourself .

JEALOUSY HELPS US IN FOCUSING ON OUR PATH- When we are jealous , we completely loose focus on our life and path , and expend all our energies focusing on what other have and what others have achieved . Jealousy can actually help you be focus on our path again . When ever you get jealous think about all the energy you are wasting by not focusing on your path and your life .

JEALOUSY ASSURES US ABOUT SUCCESS – Now , when others are succeeding and you still have an impending success you might feel jealous ,and all bitter , but if you look around and see so many people succeeding, it actually gives you an assurance and a proof that world is abundant and that there is room for everyone to succeed, we just need to be patient .

JEALOUSY CAN MOTIVATE US- When you start to feel the sting of jealousy in yourself , it can actually push you to work harder and help you find what efforts might be lacking . In stead of letting jealousy make you feel bitter , use it to work harder .

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THE ART OF LOVING THYSELF .

In this fast pacing world with ever increasing competition , the struggle to be at the top , and everybody’s desire to become ‘successful’ , we are slowly becoming so very self critical and judgemental towards ourselves . We are so desperate to be the very best that we are blindly running in this rat race and not realising that we all have our own paths that we need to follow . We are slowing loathing ourselves for everything that we are not , instead of loving ourselves for all that we are . This constant comparison that we do with others is just not the healthy way of becoming a better version of ourselves . Here are a few points to remember before you start comparing and critiquing yourself:-

Photo by Mike Chai on Pexels.com

EACH ONE OF US IS UNIQUE- We all have different sets of talents and things that we are good at , be it dancing , singing , writing , photography , or being academically gifted. We just need to find out what we are good at and what we like instead of comparing ourselves . You might have the qualities of becoming a great teacher and you might be unaware of it , or have an inclination towards cars or computers . Your likes and dislikes makes you more unique and more YOU , so embrace it and find your uniqueness. This will help you find your own path in life and automatically halt the comparisons .

DIVINE TIMING – We often want instant results and are impatient . Seeing our friends getting their dream jobs or succeeding makes us feel bad about ourself because we seem to be exactly where we were, despite the hardwork and dedication . This can be frustrating , but you will succeed when its your time to.This statement seems pretty phoney, but its not ,there is room for everyone to succeed , we just need. to be patient and continue to persevere. Our time will come .

WE ALL ARE ON DIFFERENT BOATS- Its true , we are all on different boats , with different sets of obstacles and challenges , so its not practical to compare each other . Every human is dealing with problems that differ from ours. We must understand this and realise that just like there is no comparing between the sun and moon , we humans can’t be compared either.

ITS IMPORTANT TO FAIL SOMETIMES – After failing a test or a job interview we tend to feel a deep sense of disappointment and tend to levitate towards self doubt and fall in the labyrinth of comparing ourselves . But it’s imperative to know that its okay to fail sometimes and its actually good . Failure is a good teacher and helps us understand the areas we need to work on . So next time you fail at something , try to learn from it instead of hating yourself.

Tips to build movement in your day

Sitting for long hours and not moving physically can eventually become a habit that can affect both the brain and body. Here are five tips to improve your movement.

Digital Breaks


Because of the pandemic, most of our work and academics have revolutionised into digital format. Which has resulted in all of us staring either at our laptops or mobile. Having digital breaks and moving around the house or maybe on your balcony would not only help in physical movement but will also help in reducing the eyestrain caused by the blue light from the digital devices.

Give Yourself a Break


Give yourself a digital free break. Done attending your online classes? Or finished an office meeting? get up and walk around. You may not believe but just walking around the house is much better than sitting on a chair.

Stand or Walk


Want to surf some Instagram feed? Try standing up and watch it. The same applies to calls. If you are on a voice-call ‘walk & talk’, try walking around the house while you are talking to your friend. This will not only improve your movement, but you will also get both the work done at the same time.

Pep Stretch


After working for long hours straight, try to get off the chair and stretch your body. Try stretching your arms, wrists, neck etc it would not only cause some movement but will also improve blood circulation.

Walking in Nature


Walking in nature not only causes movement physically but also makes you happier and significantly improves your mental health. Also, the body’s melatonin secretion is also improved by walking in nature, which helps to sleep.

The importance of self awareness in one’s life

What is self awareness?

In layman terms, self awareness can be defined as ability to see one’s own self in a third person perspective

To be self-aware means to have knowledge of

  • how others perceive you
  • how you affect people around you
  • how and why you react to certain situations in certain ways

There are three major types of awareness that we as SELVES can have:

  1. Exteriorceptive Awareness
    1. Vision – the awareness of a visual field of view outside of our own bodies and all that we can recognize as either familiar or unfamiliar gestalten. Sight uses a projection area in the posterior brain where the interpretations of images are made.
    2. Hearing – the awareness of vibrations, words, noise, music and random sounds that come through our ears in recognizable or unrecognizable ways. Hearing has a computation apparatus as does sight .
    3. Smell – the most primitive awareness type that goes straight to the rhinencephalon without any projection area in between. It is the most precise of the senses in that a single smell of spices can make us feel like we are sitting in the kitchen while mommy puts these spices in the container on burning stove. Smell gives us the true sense of taste of food because taste is quite limited in the variety it can contemplate.
    4. Taste – taste only has 5 of all gustatory sensations…..Sweet, Salt, Sour, Bitter, Umami (a flavor which appears in meats)
    5. Touch – not only everything we touch with our fingers give us tactile awareness but also skin along with its derivatives is the largest organ of our body. Everything that impacts or grazes or rests against the skin must be sensed to be aware of our immediate surroundings.
  2. Interiorceptive Awareness:
    1. All thinking and contemplation
    2. All paranoid thoughts and anxiety
    3. All beliefs, in including Religion, faith, all the way to Atheism, are parts of mental awareness
    4. Subconscious drivers about which we have almost none awareness, have to be brought into awareness through psychotherapy or hypnotherapy.
    5. Fantasies/imaginations
    6. Imagined things regarding others or about a sensory input (like a creak in the floor boards is a ghost). Imagining is the most frequent thing our brain does and the problem with it is that we accept it for truth many times. Right now, I’m imagining that you wanted all this detail but that could just be my tendency to give as much information as possible.
  3. Proprioceptive Awareness
    1. The primary feelings are:
      1. Love
      2. Sadness
      3. Anger
      4. Fear
      5. Guilt
    2. All subdermal and physical pain is found in proprioceptive awareness.
    3. All pleasure is also a part of proprioceptive awareness.

Now these basic zones of awareness relates to SELF AWARENESS only and not to the larger awareness of the self in the contextual surroundings or how we perceive (theoretically imagine others) or correctly perceive physiognomic Isomorphism.

What self awareness is not and what is?                  

Self-awareness should not be confused with permanent enlightenment or a state of bliss (and similar terms suggestive of having an out of body experience on either ones or on constant basis).

Being self-aware is the result of intense observation and contemplation of both the self and the environment.

Sustaining the self-aware state while being aware of one’s environment is a necessity. A certain state of remoteness from both the state of self-awareness and the awareness of one’s environment is part of the training gone through by those wishing to learn self-awareness

Intuition in its truest is a congruent internal awareness in all three zones about a person or action in any environment. When People say, “Think about it!” But what it this really means is, “Fantasize and imagine what is happening.” When People say, “Trust your senses!!” which basically means, “Even if it is an optical illusion you should head toward that oasis.” also, when people say, “Trust your feelings!!!” But this means, “No matter how paranoid or delusional or untrusting or suspicious or jealous or hurt you are feeling that your feelings are 100% trustworthy.” But, trusting our feelings during a fight is something we rarely can do. Sense is awareness. But, INTUITION is the King of Self Awareness.

Is being self aware good

The deeper the understanding and comprehension, the higher the level of self awareness. Everyone can be at different stages at different ages and in different environments. As long as one keeps asking questions and searching for answers he/she will always move up levels. But being aware ,going up levels is not always a good thing.

Sometimes self awareness can bring about great sadness and dissatisfaction. The realization of our petty pleasures, our materialistic desires, our lonely existence, our hypocrisies, our illusory , our beliefs and all those things that one should not realize, contemplate, can be very dangerous and do not always lead to happy endings.

Ignorance is as necessary as self awareness but self awareness is more important than not being ignorant and unaware.

Digital Detox

It all started a few months back, spending time on my phone was making me feel sick to my stomach. The strive to remain connected was making me feel annoyed, distracted and detached than ever.

Ever since data charges got cheaper and cheaper, using social media platforms one after the other became a part of our day. A routine to be exact.

It started off with taking over our lives when we felt bored at first, time does fly when you’re having fun. The transition to a time when we grew bored of it often. We’re certainly overdoing it.

However it never felt like an addiction to me, but on contemplation it became rather obvious that the struggle was inflicted by the content I consumed. The connectivity was paying a one hefty fee.

As faith would have it, one day it finally hit me. A solution to my problem lies in plain sight. Simple but genius. ‘Why do I have to do it, if it’s not healthy for me?’

A grave moment of epiphany.

The pandemic has fuelled people to spend long hours on their phones. The amount of content consumption should be a reason for concern.

We fancy all that our brothers from the West preach. We try to dress like them, eat like them and when they went onto to discovering social media platforms, we accepted it wholeheartedly.

Now as more and more such brothers preach the need for digital detoxes, this can’t be more true. They more or less do have an elder sibling effect on us.

The solution was ever apparent, for the taking to the ones that seek. We’re all stressed, tensed and severely pumped up than ever before. We all do find it hard to manage time too, and our attention span is just a little more than that of a goldfish.

Above all, the lack of sleep has also been found to have it’s toll on a few. The trends seemed to have circulated a few years back, around the time when the data charges were dragged to the ground.

The very essence of us passing time, being the very reason behind the matter of concern. They say, “the best days are the ones that doesn’t make you check your phone,” so why not do it? Make it a reality.

Social media has helped us out immensely, letting us to be connected to our loved ones around the world. Helping relationships to sustain itself over geographical and time barriers.

However we fell short to draw the boundaries. Boundaries are necessary. Knowing where to draw the line can absolutely do wonders.

The idea of a digital detox seemed a bit paradoxical to me at first. Cutting out the use of any device that is electric, seems far too barbaric, now. Our lives are so entangled that getting rid of it is not an option. However, Striking a balance seems apter by leaps and bounds.

I believe radical changes can cause more bane than boon. Whereas baby steps can take you places. Rather than completely throwing it out the window, imposing restrictions can be the first step.

Reducing the screen time to a smaller periods and then slowly stepping up a notch every now and then.

If it gets better and better, do more of it. After all life’s more about doing things that sets One’s soul on fire right.

Why should one bicker from doing more of what makes you feel better.

I believe in preaching what I believe in, A couple of months down the line, following the following has made me feel so much better lately. I’m connected but disconnected. Life got so much better.

Live and let live, right?

Bulimia-An Eating Disorder

In today’s instagram world,People especially adolescents are getting image and body conscious.They look at the perfect bodies of celebrities and aspire to be like them.In this aspiration,they are psychologically and physically wounded.Most of such people experience eating disorders where in they undergo extreme changes in their eating and exercise habits.Ultimately they damage themselves.

So,in today’s blog lets look at one of the eating disorders called Bulimia Nervosa,it’s causes and it’s impacts.Let’s get started.

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Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by episodes of binge eating—consuming a lot of food quickly—followed by compensatory behavior, most commonly vomiting or “purging.” People who are bulimic often feel a lack of control over their eating. A bulimic can consume as many as 3,400 calories in little more than an hour and as many as 20,000 calories in eight hours.

People with bulimia often know they have a problem and are afraid of their inability to stop eating. Bingeing is then followed by purging — namely, self-induced vomiting or the abuse of diuretics or laxatives. Bingeing and purging are often performed in secret, with feelings of shame alternating with relief.

The bingeing and purging cycle is usually repeated several times a week. As with anorexia, people with bulimia often have coexisting psychological illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse problems. Many physical dysfunctions result from the purging, including electrolyte imbalances, gastrointestinal troubles, and dental problems.

An estimated one to four percent of females have bulimia nervosa during their lifetime. The prevalence in males is unknown, but bulimia nervosa is far less common in males than females. Most cases begin in the late teens and early 20s, but can go undetected until the 30s or 40s.

SYMPTOMS

Bulimia signs and symptoms may include:

  • Being preoccupied with your body shape and weight
  • Living in fear of gaining weight
  • Repeated episodes of eating abnormally large amounts of food in one sitting
  • Feeling a loss of control during bingeing — like you can’t stop eating or can’t control what you eat
  • Forcing yourself to vomit or exercising too much to keep from gaining weight after bingeing
  • Using laxatives, diuretics or enemas after eating when they’re not needed
  • Fasting, restricting calories or avoiding certain foods between binges
  • Using dietary supplements or herbal products excessively for weight loss

CAUSES

Exact causes are not completely known and are believed to complex.Hence there is no single known cause of bulimia, but there are some factors that may play a part,such as:

  • Culture:As in strict body expectations:Slim and trim girls wanted for marriage in India.
  • Families:Constant pressure and criticism from parents on looks of children
  • Life changes or stressful events: can trigger bulimia.
  • Personality traits: Those with bulimia may have low self-esteem and feel hopeless.
  • Biology.:Genes, hormones, and other biological factors may contribute to development of bulimia.

Impact

Bulimia has a great impact on the individual and can lead to following complications:

  • Negative self-esteem and problems with relationships and social functioning
  • Dehydration leading to kidney failure
  • Heart problems
  • Severe tooth decay and gum disease
  • Absent or irregular periods in females
  • Digestive problems
  • Anxiety, depression, personality disorders or bipolar disorder
  • Misuse of alcohol or drugs
  • Self-injury and suicidal thoughts.

Management

If left untreated,bulimia can create major complications in life as mentioned above.Hence if you see your loved ones experiencing symptoms of bulimia,support them and console them.If the symptoms are unbearable,immediately consult a doctor and psychologist who will be able to help the patient successfully.

Please spread empathy and kindness.Acceptance and kindness can prevent bulimia in such insecure people.Every difficulty can be defeated with empathy,patience and willingness to improve and come out.

If you all found the article useful,do give it a like.

Thankyou!

Stay Kind!

Benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar

What is apple cider vinegar?  

Apple cider vinegar, also known as ACV is produced during fermentation of apple cider. The sugar present in the apple is fermented by yeast/bacteria which first turns it into alcohol. Further the alcohol is fermented to turn into acetic acid. Apple cider vinegar contains 4-5% of acetic acid, to which many health benefits can be attributed to. Not all apple cider vinegar is created the same, the key is to look for organic, unfiltered, raw apple cider vinegar with “mother” which indicates that it contains probiotics. 

What are the health benefits of apple cider vinegar?

It is almost magical what apple cider vinegar can do for your health.  Let’s start with a list of benefits first and then get into details. 

  1. It can improve digestion
  2. It lowers blood sugar levels
  3. It improves insulin sensitivity
  4. It reduces belly fat
  5. It helps lowers cholesterol
  6. It helps sooth sore throat
  7. It lowers blood pressure and improves heart health
  8. It prevents and decreases the risk of getting cancer and slows down the growth of cancer cells
  9. It helps people to lose weight and increases satiety

Apple cider vinegar is also packed with nutrition. Let’s take a look at its nutritional composition to see what makes apple cider vinegar so special. Apple cider vinegar contains:

  • Magnesium
  • amino acids
  • antioxidants
  • iron
  • manganese
  • phosphorus
  • only three (3) calories per tablespoon

1. Improves Digestion– Drinking apple cider vinegar everyday can help regulate the amount of acid present in your stomach, which will lead to easier digestion. Like any other fermented food, unfiltered apple cider vinegar contains healthy bacteria that helps to keep your digestive system functioning properly. 

2. Lowers blood sugar levels and helps fight Diabetes– Apple cider vinegar has the ability to improve insulin sensitivity and it also helps lower the blood sugar levels. According to a research published by American Diabetes Association, taking two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar before going to bed can reduce fasting blood sugars. 

3. Detoxifies the Liver– Apple cider vinegar increasing energy levels and improves its natural blood filtration processes by flushing the liver.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

4. Helps You Lose Weight– Apple cider vinegar also helps with weight loss as it increases satiety, feeling of being full, which can help prevent cravings.

5. Inhibits the growth of Cancer Cells.  Many studies show that apple cider vinegar has some anti-cancer benefits to it as it is an alkalizing food that restores the acid balance of the body which is important because cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment.

6.) Strengthens the bones – Apple cider vinegar aids in the process of  absorption of calcium, which is essential to building strong bones.

8.) Lowers Cholesterol– Studies show that apple cider vinegar reduces the bad cholesterol- LDL and in turn increases the good cholesterol- HDL due to the natural antioxidants present in it.

How to incorporate apple cider vinegar into your diet?  

The best way to incorporate apple cider vinegar into your diet is to use it for salad dressings or dilute it in water and drink it as a beverage. 1–2 tablespoons (15–30 ml) mixed in a large glass of water and consumed daily.

Refer to this article for detailed consumption patterns for different uses- Apple Cider Vinegar Dosage: How Much Should You Drink per Day?

It’s best to start with small doses of apple cider, avoid taking large amounts because too much of vinegar can cause harmful side effects.

Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before Graduating School

It’s again the time to apply for colleges while you’re just out of school. This stage in life always involves uncertainty and stress, and in addition COVID-19 has made it even more challenging for students. Here are some things I wish I knew before I got out of school-

It’s okay to not have everything figured out just yet

I’m sure you have heard all types of questions about your future- ranging from which college would you like to get into to what do you want to major in, from what type of career do you want after college to what’s your plan-B. If you know the answer to such questions then, congratulations you’re the lucky one. But It’s okay if you don’t know the answers to these right now. Most people don’t have their entire life figured out at age of 17/18. You’ll get there eventually. Try exploring one question at a time instead of stressing about all of these at once. Small steps, remember?

Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone

This is probably one of the biggest things I had to learn after getting out of school. It’s so important that you learn to step out of your comfort zone while you’re in school. School offers you a very sheltered environment, but college doesn’t. You’ll have to make ways to achieve things you want and even go and extra mile for them. Inculcating this habit will benefit you in the long run. You surely don’t want to miss out on opportunities in college simply because you were afraid to take a risk.

You and your friends might grow apart

I was fortunate enough to experience my school friendships grow even stronger after leaving school. But this wan’t the case with most of the friend groups in my school batch. It is something that happens when you all jet off to different cities, when you meet new people who you connect with better or when you see that people who you were close to in school aren’t making as much effort to communicate as you are, which happens a lot. It’s highly unlikely for your entire friend group to end up in the same university or college after graduation or for them to make the same efforts they were making when you all were meeting each day. Either way, don’t be discouraged if you realise you’re not as close as you were in school.

ask for help

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s your pride or your fear holding you back, try and get over it. You don’t have to force yourself to struggle when you can ask the ones you trust for help. Whether it’s related to academics or your personal struggle adjusting to a new environment, reach out for help. Looking back you will wish you had asked for help when you had the chance to. This will make your life a lot more easier.

PRIORITIzE your health, physical and mental

Learn to prioritize your health and pay attention to what your body needs from you. Pulling all nighters day after day after day will destroy you and your focus. And No, you can’t survive the whole day at college on a diet of lays and coke forever. Don’t skip your meals. Your health is very important.

You don’t have to be the same person you were in high school

College is the perfect time to reinvent yourself. It’s the perfect time to unlearn concepts and opinions that you no longer agree with. It’s the perfect time to to better yourself educating yourself with issues that are revenant around you. University offers you an environment suitable to reinvent yourself, it offers you the space to give educated opinions and to find like minded people who you willingly want to interact with online school where you had to interact with your classmates only. If you were the brainiac that always had a secret passion for art, then join your college’s art club. If in school you were into sports but always appreciated and enjoyed debating, then join the debate club while participate in the sports activities of your choice. You don’t have to stay the same and that’s the beauty of it.

How Can You Avoid Getting Sucked Into Toxic Behaviour Online

A lot of us, without even realising, engage in toxic and unhealthy behaviours online. I’ll shares some tips that I follow for avoiding getting sucked into such behaviours.

RECOGNISING TOXIC BEHAVIOUR ONLINE

People today are always on some form of social media all the time, whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, the list is never ending. Though using social media has its own benefits, I feel as though a lot of people get trapped in unhealthy behaviour patterns online without even knowing, as it isn’t something we talk about often.

step 1: Unfollow the ones you compare yourself to

It is a drastic step, but I really do believe that this helps you to stop comparing yourself to others online. If you compare yourself to people online and if you’ve been doing for a while, then it will be natural for you to compare yourself to the ones that you deem perfect. The best way to stop doing this, is to unfollow such accounts and fill your feed with accounts that are raw and make you feel good and real about yourself. After you have completed this step, you will begin to feel positive about yourself when you scroll your feed.

step 2: Make yourself Realise that it’s just one photo not their whole life

When you post a picture on any social media platform, do you tend to post when you’re having a bad day, or do you post it when you know you look your best? It’s more likely that you post a picture when you feel good about yourself, when you’re enjoying yourself, when you’re having fun and you then post the highlight of your day. When we look a someone’s picture, we automatically assume that you know everything about their lives, and that everything in their life is as perfect at their post. When you realise that every single person tends to post only the bits of the day that they love or enjoy, the sooner you’ll be able to ditch the unhealthy pattern and it will instantly make you feel good and much happierWhen you realise that every single person tends to post only those bits of their day that they love or enjoy, the sooner you’ll be able to ditch this unhealthy pattern and it will instantly make you feel good and much happier about where you are in life.

step 3: Set aside time to scroll

But I seem to have even 5 free minutes to myself I will pick up my phone and scrolled through my social media feed as if it is my daily newspaper. But this is something that I am working on and that something that you should aim to change too. The more you endlessly scroll through your social media feed, be it any platform, the more you will be out of touch with reality. That is why it is important to set aside some time for scrolling. In a long run this would allow you to focus throughout the day on things that you actually need to do as you know whenThat is why it is important to set aside some time for scrolling. In a long run this would allow you to focus throughout the day on things that you actually need to do as you know when you have allotted time to scroll.

Social Media can be a positive and an empowering place, but when/if it starts to have a negative impact on your mental health then something needs to change. Start making these small CHANGES today – you can do it

Taking Care Of Your Mental Health In The Times Of COVID-19

Breathe In. Breathe Out.

Hey, It’s normal to feel stressed, nervous, anxious, drained or worried right now.

COVID-19 has most likely changed every aspect of your life- your family dynamics, your eqaution with your friends, your social life, your schooling, your career, your interests, your habits and even you. As you deal with uncertainity and all the emotions that tag along, it’s crucial that along with your physical health, you take care of your mental health as well. Here are some things that I religiously follow and have worked for me. I hope they work for you as well!

You deserve patience, so be patient with yourself

  • Allow others to help you when you’re struggling. Don’t be shy to ask for help from those you trust and the ones who care about you. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength, strength in acknowledging that you need help and that you’re willing to work towards a better self.
  • Remind yourself that “It will pass”. Like any other moment, any other journey, any other hurdle in life, this too shall pass, for better. We can’t control what’s happening around us, and with the lack of control and constant bugging of how uncertain the times are, it’s important to remind ourselves we are doing what we can and that’s enough for today.
  • Self-reflect and see what you feel is important to you right now.

Reach out

  • Call your close friends and share your feelings with each other. As simple as it sounds, it is therapeutic, and will leave you in a better state than before. This will help lift off the weight from your chest.
  • Arrange a video call with friends, seeing their faces is as close to physical proximity as you can get right now.
  • Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time, rekindle with them. Maybe reminiscence the times you spent together, memorable moments that you shared, tell them something that remind you of them, go where the conversation takes you.

Take care of your body

  • Since there is very less to no physical activity. Make an active effort to do any form of exercise that you like: walking, jogging, skipping rope, dancing, Zumba, weights, yoga.
  • Get your quota of fresh air during the day. Inhale as much oxygen as you can.
  • Stick to a sleeping routine. In times that are so uncertain and unstable, having a routine can make you feel in control and calm about your surroundings. If you’re having trouble with sleeping, check my article- What should you do if you’re struggling to sleep in quarantine?
  • Practice deep breathing. Try 4-7-8 breathing if you feel anxious or stressed.

Eat your meals

  • Since most of us have erratic sleep schedules it’s no secret that we’re skipping out on meals. Try and eat three small meals each day.
  • Don’t starve yourself. It’s normal to not want to have full meals sometimes. Choose a trusted snack and rely on it whenever you feel hungry but not enough to have a meal.
  • Stay hydrated. Drink 4-6 cups of water daily to avoid dehydration. Warning signs of dehydration can include dizziness, weakness, low blood pressure, or urine that’s dark in color. (source: Harvard Medical School)

3 Things To Do When A Friend Opens Up About Their Mental Health Struggles

All of us want to be there for our friends when they need us. We want to help them and provide the support in the best way we know. Nonetheless, when a friend tells us about their current struggle with their mental health, it can be challenging to decide what to do or what to say. It is valid to be worried about not making the situation worse or upsetting them by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Here are 3 things that will help you support your friend in a way that’s healthy for the both of you.

Seamless pattern of a crowd of many different people profile heads. Vector background.

1. Listen to them

We are constantly hearing people talk which may lead us to think that listening is easy. However, the goal is to listen and not just hear, to be a good listener, you must be able to put all your thoughts and judgements to one side. Try not to interrupt them while they are taking or rush them into talking. It’s most ideal to have the conversation with them when you do not have something to do soon since this can add to the pressure which could make you want to rush the conversation and make them feel unheard or worse, abandoned. You should also try to stay calm, process the information as and when you receive it.

2. Ask them what they would like from you

Sometimes people just want to be seen, be heard, or just want to get something off their chest. Other times they simply want advice or maybe reassurance. Asking them what they would like from you will help you to support them in the better way and it will ensure they do not leave feeling unsatisfied or unheard. Try to be as honest, patient and kind as possible when responding to your them. In dealing with such situations, you can be most helpful by asking yourself these three questions: ‘What’s best for my friend?’. ‘What would I want the most from my friend if I was in this situation?’ and ‘How would I want to be treated had I been in the same situation?’

3. Check up on them

If you feel mentally stable enough and are able to, keep asking your friend how they are and how they feel, take the time out to candidly listen to what they have to say, keep repeating this cycle. Mental health problems don’t vanish after one conversation. These problems can also be incredibly isolating. Regualrly checking up on your friend is one step closer to making them feel a little less alone, visible and will also serve as a reminder that you care about them.

It is okay if you can’t always be there for the people you love and care about. We all have our own challenges and struggles. If you do not feel up to it, you should signpost them to others who they can talk to like some other close friend, a trusted family member or a mental health organisation that can professionally help.

How Social Media Affects Your Self Awareness

I recently acquainted myself with a new term called ‘Smiling Depression’. This term is unusually used for people who appear happy on the outside but are in actual fact not happy. Because of social media, this condition has become more prevalent in social media users. 

We all know of Maslow’s hierarchy of our basic needs- self actualisation is one of the needs we have as an individual and we are constantly making efforts to craft this image that is better than the current one. We try so much that this becomes almost obsessive. As humans, we are set up with the basic instincts of self-improvement and we always somehow seem to know how to identify someone who we feel is ahead of us. This creates the an endless loop of ‘smiling depression’. 

Social media is an easy and dreamy out to reality. To create the image of a person who simply wakes up fresh and rejuvenated face, has time for make-up and heads out stylish without even trying to be, but how many of us can testify it as that easy? Very few if any. We all need to realise that regardless of the amount of time we spend creating these social identities online, we are only simple humans. Others are just better at creating and embracing these images and facades on social media.

So next time you are scrolling through your Instagram or Facebook feed, realise these points before you slip into ‘smiling depression’:

  1. You need a time-out from social media, maybe even for the rest of the day. People are not who they are online, their image on social media is highly curated and does not always represent reality. 
  2. Confront the negative thoughts and ask yourself  ‘Where are they coming from?’. Remind yourself we all wear a mask online, no one is as happy as they appear to be on social media. Everyone has problems, even celebrities. 
  3. If social media is your boredom killer where you scroll endlessly the whole day, logout and grab a book or download gaming app or do something that you like and you’re good at. Be more productive in real life and less online.

What you can learn from ‘The Go-Giver’

The 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success | Elite Marketing Pro

‘The Go-Giver’ is a self-help, story book written by Bob Burg and John David Mann and the book tries to make a reader look at both his personal and professional life from a different perspective. Almost all of us are go-getters. A go-getter is an ambitious person who would do anything to achieve his goals and become successful. You might argue that there is nothing wrong with being a go-getter but being a go-getter will only get you so far in life. All the founders of great companies have one thing in common – they gave their idea to improve lives without any anticipation of rewards or fame. You might get that job or promotion but you can’t get to that level of success.

The main characters of the story are Joe and Pindar. Joe is a go-getter employee and Pindar is someone Joe approaches in order to land a great contract. Pindar makes a deal with Joe that he will tell him his trade secret, ‘the five laws of stratospheric success’ on one condition. Joe must apply that law in his life in some way or the other, on the very same day. Joe really wanted to have Pindar in for the contract so he obliged and they started meeting for lunch everyday for five days the next week. Every lunch, Pindar would take Joe to meet people who have had stratospheric success and they would demonstrate the law through their life stories. 

The following are ‘the five laws of stratospheric success’ that we can all inculcate in our lives as we walk the path towards success –

  1. The Law of Value

The first law was explained by Ernesto who owned several restaurants, cafes and a lot of real estate. He had started off from a hot dog stall and reached where he was mainly because of his social skills and the taste of food he served. The value that he gave to his customers was much more than he asked for and the first law states, ‘your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.’

  1. The Law of Compensation

The second law states, ‘your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them’ and it was explained by Nicole, a school teacher who had a unique and fun way of teaching her students through games and she started her own company to reach out and teach children globally through her learning software. She was passionate about teaching and started her company solely because of her passion.

  1. Law of Influence

Sam Rosen was an awful insurance salesman before his financial services company leapt to stratospheric success and he became the state’s number one philanthropist. According to him, what led to his success was the great network of people he had. These people are like your brand ambassadors and help in increasing your goodwill. To have such a network, you must keep the people’s interest before your own. The third law states, ‘your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interest first’.

  1. Law of Authenticity

Debra Davenport had become the most successful real estate dealer in the town but before that she was a housewife and a mother. She wasn’t always so good at selling properties but it was Pindar who showed her the right way. Pindar told Debra to add value to whatever she was selling and it took her some time to understand that she wasn’t selling properties but herself. She tried to put her social skills of being a friend to her ex husband and children and tried to connect with her clients at a very personal level and the fourth law states, ‘the most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself’.

  1. Law of Receptivity

The fifth and last law was demonstrated by Joe himself by being receptive to whatever Pindar had to give to him, that is accepting all the five laws of stratospheric success with an open heart. The law states, ‘the key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving’.