The irrational things about trust

The obvious and rational equation is that being trustworthy plus being transparent will lead you to be trusted. Verification of trustworthiness should lead to trust.

This makes sense. Being trustworthy (acting in a way that’s worthy of trust) plus being transparent so that people can see your trustworthiness—this should be sufficient.

How then, do we explain that brands like Coke and Google are trusted? The recipe is secret, the algorithm is secret, and competitors like DuckDuckGo certainly act in a more trustworthy way.

In fact, trust often comes from something very different. It’s mostly about symbols, expectations and mystery.

Consider the relationship you might enter into if you need surgery. You trust this woman to cut you open, you’re putting your life in her hands… without the transparency of seeing all of her surgical statistics, interviewing all previous patients, evaluating her board scores.

Instead, we leap into surgery on the basis of the recommendation from one doctor, on how the office feels, on a few minutes of bedside manner. We walk away from surgery because of a surly receptionist, or a cold demeanor. 

The same is true for just about all the food we eat. Not only don’t we visit the slaughterhouse or the restaurant kitchen, we make an effort to avoid imagining that they even exist.

In most commercial and organizational engagements, trust is something we want and something we seek out, but we use the most basic semiotics and personal interactions to choose where to place our trust. And once the trust is broken, there’s almost no amount of transparency that will help us change our mind.

This is trust from ten thousand years ago, a hangover from a far less complex age when statistical data hadn’t been conceived of, when unearthing history was unheard of. But that’s now hard-wired into how we judge and are judged.

Quick test: Consider how much you trust Trump, or Clinton, Cruz or Sanders, Scalia or RBG. Is that trust based on transparency? On a rational analysis of public statements and private acts? Or is it more hunch-filled than that? What are the signals and tropes you rely on? Tone of voice? Posture? Appearance? Would more transparency change your mind about someone you trust? What about someone you don’t? (Here’s a fascinating story on that topic, reconstructed and revealed).

It turns out that we grab trust when we need it, and that rebuilding trust after it’s been torn is really quite difficult. Because our expectations (which weren’t based on actual data) were shown to be false.

Real trust (even in our modern culture) doesn’t always come from divulging, from providing more transparency, but from the actions that people take (or that we think they take) before our eyes. It comes from people who show up before they have to, who help us when they think no one is watching. It comes from people and organizations that play a role that we need them to play.

Turning Point!

Everyone has face situations in their life which they never expected in their path. People have their own hurdles and obstacles to elucidate with. Every person has made certain goals in their life and working towards it so that they can accomplish it. But in the journey of accomplishment one has to face many hitches in which many of them would give up, some of them will get bored of it, some of them will change the goal itself as they find too many hurdles to cross. In all of them there would be some exceptions too. Some of them will wait for a turning point or I would say a kick to continue the run to reach the finishing line.

Turning point in life can be good or bad but it will teach you a life lesson which will be with you throughout your life.  There was a simple girl who loves her family distributing her time equally for sports and studies. She was a National Volley Ball player. She was living her life happily but one incident changed her life. She met with an accident where two chain snatcher tried to snatch her chain when she was in train as she was a sports player giving up was not an option for her she tried hard to push the snatchers but life as other plans for her the snatchers pull her out and thrown her out of the train it doesn’t stop here she hit hard herself from another train coming from the tracks parallel to the first. She fall down between the tracks, no one noticed her. She was not conscious, she knows her life was not same now it was fallen apart her both legs was bleeding she saw her one leg was broken into pieces and other was not at all visible. 48 trains passed by but none of them noticed her she got companions that was rats. Now this was her turning point. Life throw us with situations which we had not expected in our nightmares. But now this is reality she is handicapped. The village people carried her in the nearby hospital, afterwards it was revealed she was a National Volley Ball player then she was shifted to AIIMS Delhi. She was bed ridden, with three spine fractures, one leg was artificial and in other leg a rod was inserted. On that hospital bed she decided to become mountaineer and she also decided to climb Mount Everest. This was shocking, surprising for everyone whoever hears it. No one encourages her for the goal she had in her mind but, she was firm with her goal she just aim herself on top of the Mount Everest. She knows it already it will be a journey where her life was on stake. She is not normal now she doesn’t fit the ideology of normal as per the society. Easy things like climbing, walking will be not easier for her the thing she left with was her will to not give up at any cost. The young girl just wanted to show the world if anybody wants to conquer the world luck is not an essential thing it’s the will, if we have a will the luck will also play its role and the way will be easy to locate and to conquer. Days of training, finding sponsorship, dealing with the society is not that simple as it seems but she survived it all.

Climbing the highest peak of world is visibly not everyone’s cup of tea. She managed to reach the peak of the Mount Everest with minimum oxygen level. When she started the descending journey from the mountains her oxygen was zero and she fell down but as I said if we have a will all the other things will find its way to reach you that’s what happened in this young girl’s story. A British mountaineer on his way down run out to help her, he had two oxygen cylinder with him. This saved the young girl’s life. That how she completed her journey with an artificial leg and other one with rod inserted. She was none other than Mrs. Arunima Sinha she reached the summit of the Mount Everest as on 21st May 2013.

Life give us turning point when we least expect it coming this hard in our path. But if we use this turning point wisely with all our hearts and brains then it will never disappoint us with the results.

“When Life throw lemons on us we should catch them, squeeze them, crush them, add salt, add mint, add soda, and water your lemonade is ready. Complaining about the sour taste of lemon will let you reach nowhere so its better you make your drink in your own way.”