I’m different

I have heard people talking about me being different from other children, since my childhood. My neighbor Aunties, my class teacher discussing with other teachers she is too shy, cannot mix-up well with her classmates, always lost in her own world. That time I was in 3rd standard. And I used to wonder why? What makes me different from other children, why my elders find me different or something abnormal in me… but my classmates never made me feel any different, I had 4-5 good friends and 1 best friend with them I was fully comfortable. From class 1st to 8th, I was in same school and well settled, there was no issue because my classmates have seen me from 7 years and they accepted me as I am, at that time nobody could point out me to be different. Everything was going well and I forgot what people said about me earlier, that time I didn’t feel I’m different from others and I was always excited to go to school.

Then I got promoted to 9th class and my father Got transfer to another City. It took me 2-3 months to adjust there it was hard for me as that was a big change after so many years but I still managed because there also I got a good batch they were very friendly helpful. But after a year, I was in 10th my Father again got transfer and this time it really made a dent in my self confidence. Ya, I am an introvert and I take time to get comfortable with others and I need time to make friends, but others should also try to make me feel comfortable, friendship does not go one way. as I was new in the class that too 10th class lot of pressure of studies, the teachers were also so rude and they didn’t help me to cop up with studies as I have came in the middle of the session nobody helped me. rather my maths teacher started saying I’m abnormal, then I failed in maths half-yearly exam for the first time I had failed in any subject, I got depressed and teachers said I won’t pass 10th, they suggested my parents for drop out that year. I suffered a lot of health problems due to maladjustment, but somehow I managed to score 76% in 10th board exams. Class 10th was the worst year of my school life. I did my 12th also from that school and those 3 years were like prison for me, I had no friends there some students used to bully me because I don’t talk much, but that’s their point of view, I’m talkative around right people:-)

Now I’m in 2nd year in college, I have many friends but not any best friend but that’s okay…I have learned to walk alone. I need to overcome my shyness but being an introvert is my nature..I can’t change it and there is no harm in being a bit different:-)

Is Cyberbullying Real?

Unless and until our society recognizes cyberbullying for what it is, the suffering of thousands of silent victims will continue.

Facebook, Instagram and Twitter may be the main social networks used to keep in touch with friends, but, worryingly, they are also the main sites used for cyberbullying and internet trolling.

Cyberbullying has been emerging as a growing concern for quite some years now. With the power of anonymity, people can verbally attack others over social networking sites, most often going after students with low self-esteem or a low circle of friends. These are not exclusive targets, but there’s a general consensus that these are the groups that are most affected by cyberbullying. Anybody can be a victim- although it’s the young teens that are most vulnerable.

Cyberbullying can affect its victims in more ways than you can imagine. Besides bringing down self esteem, it alienates you from social crowds, and in some cases, it may push people to severe depression and suicide. And, no it’s not as simple as ‘just turning the computer off’ or ‘simply looking away’. Think of it this way: if someone hurts your feelings on the phone, is stepping away from the phone going to magically fix it? No, because the issue lies with the person and the interaction, not the phone itself. Similarly, cyberbullying doesn’t end when you turn off the computer. Our real lives are so intertwined with social networks now that if you poison someone’s network, it will poison his or her real life. Besides, asking the bullied victim to not use the computer or advising them to refrain from going online is a rather harsh demand for obvious reasons. The focus should be on fixing the bully issue, not putting the onus on the victims. It’s even worse when the bullies wear the shroud of anonymity. After all, how do you deal with a bully when you don’t even know who he or she is. Cyberbullying is visceral too. Bullies can go out of their way to post unflattering pictures of you or paint you in a negative light in ways that they can’t do face-to-face.

What’s worse it that there’s not much that can be done about it. Cyberbullying is still protected by freedom of speech, and as long as a bully isn’t crossing over into obvious libel territory, they can’t really be touched. Even then, if you had a libel case, it is costly, expensive, and hard to prove.

So, why do people cyberbully? Is it out of jealousy or hatred? Or is it just the law of the jungle that the strong bullies the weak?

It is a myth that the strong bully the weak. It is those who cannot handle their stress with grace, who attack the gentle natured. The most clear, and psychological aspect is that they feel tough behind a computer screen, and believe that anything they say won’t affect them negatively in the grand scheme. It is a sort of thought process that most people employ when cyberbullying. Think of it this way. How much more likely are you to argue or even insult someone online than you are to do in person? You would probably feel “safer” attacking someone online as opposed to in-person, and understandably so. They could do it to feel better about themselves. A lot of bullying cases, IRL or online are usually fed by insecurity or hatred towards oneself. Again, most bullies have some underlying problem which they believe can be quelled by being aggressive online. It’s also much easier since they don’t have to worry about other factors and feel they are safe from consequence. Lastly, they could just be looking for attention. It is evident that most cyberbullies attack others for the sake of attention, and the ability to instigate a response out of a victim.

So, if you ever encounter a cyberbully, Know that it’s not your fault and Don’t respond or retaliate. Sometimes a reaction is exactly what aggressors are looking for because they think it gives them power over you, and you don’t want to empower a bully. Further, you should save the evidence and Use available tech tools to either block the person and/or report the person to the service.

Lets never forget that words impact people emotionally, and how you feel emotionally affects how you are physically. Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top.

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A keyboard away doesn’t make it okay.