Tag: personal growth

The Importance of Learning New Skills

Daily writing prompt
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.
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By Dr. Kavita Dehalwar

In an increasingly complex and dynamic world, the ability to acquire new skills is essential for both personal and professional growth. Lifelong learning not only enhances social inclusion, active citizenship, and personal development but also competitiveness and employability (European Commission, 2020).

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Adaptability and Career Advancement

The modern workforce is characterized by rapid technological changes and an evolving job market. As routine tasks become automated, there is a growing demand for skills that are uniquely human, such as emotional intelligence, creativity, and strategic thinking (World Economic Forum, 2020). Learning new skills enables individuals to stay relevant and competitive in their careers. For instance, a study by the National Bureau of Economic Research highlights that continuous skill development is critical in adapting to new technologies and work processes (Autor, D., 2015).

Cognitive Benefits and Personal Development

Engaging in the learning process has significant cognitive benefits. According to research published in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, learning new skills can enhance brain function, improve memory, and decrease the risk of dementia (Smith, J., 2017). Additionally, setting and achieving learning goals contributes to higher self-esteem and well-being (Zimmerman, B. J., 2000).

Social Impact and Connectivity

Learning new skills often involves social interactions, which can strengthen community ties and enhance social networks. Educational psychologist John Dewey argued that education and learning are fundamentally social and interactive processes that build community and foster relationships (Dewey, J., 1938).

Economic Impact

On an economic level, a skilled workforce is crucial for the growth and competitiveness of economies. The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) asserts that countries with higher levels of skill proficiency among their populations tend to have higher rates of economic growth (OECD, 2019).

In conclusion, the importance of learning new skills cannot be overstated. It is a powerful tool for personal empowerment, career development, cognitive health, and social connectivity. As such, individuals, educators, and policymakers must prioritize and facilitate continuous learning opportunities.

References

European Commission. (2020). Skills for a digital world. Retrieved from https://ec.europa.eu

World Economic Forum. (2020). The Future of Jobs Report 2020. Retrieved from https://www.weforum.org

Autor, D. (2015). Why are there still so many jobs? The history and future of workplace automation. Journal of Economic Perspectives, 29(3), 3-30.

Smith, J. (2017). Enhancing brain functions: Learning a new skill strengthens brain networks. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 29(5), 1022-1034.

Zimmerman, B. J. (2000). Self-efficacy: An essential motive to learn. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 25(1), 82-91.

Dewey, J. (1938). Experience and Education. New York: Touchstone.

OECD. (2019). Skills matter: Additional results from the survey of adult skills. OECD Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.oecd-ilibrary.org

Embracing Individuality: Exploring Personal Traits That Make Us Unique

Daily writing prompt
Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
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By Shashikant Nishant Sharma

In a world that often seeks conformity, it’s the unique personal traits that truly distinguish one individual from another. Each person carries within them a blend of characteristics, quirks, and experiences that shape their identity and set them apart from the crowd. These traits not only define who we are but also influence how we navigate through life’s challenges and opportunities. Let’s delve into some of these personal traits that contribute to our individuality:

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  1. Personality: At the core of our uniqueness lies our personality – the amalgamation of traits, behaviors, and patterns of thinking that make us who we are. Whether we’re introverted or extroverted, analytical or creative, our personality traits dictate how we interact with others and perceive the world around us.
  2. Passions and Interests: Our passions and interests are like fingerprints, distinguishing us from one another. Whether it’s a love for literature, a fascination with technology, or a dedication to a particular hobby, these interests shape our experiences, relationships, and life pursuits.
  3. Values and Beliefs: Our values and beliefs serve as guiding principles that influence our decisions, actions, and interactions with others. Whether rooted in religion, culture, or personal experiences, these convictions shape our moral compass and contribute to our sense of identity.
  4. Strengths and Weaknesses: Each of us possesses a unique set of strengths and weaknesses that influence how we approach challenges and opportunities. Whether it’s a talent for problem-solving, a knack for empathy, or areas where we struggle, embracing these traits allows us to harness our potential and grow as individuals.
  5. Life Experiences: Our life experiences – from triumphs to tribulations – shape our perspectives, resilience, and outlook on life. Whether it’s traveling to new places, overcoming adversity, or forming meaningful relationships, these experiences enrich our lives and contribute to our personal growth.
  6. Communication Style: How we communicate – whether through words, body language, or expressions – reflects our unique communication style. Whether we’re eloquent speakers, attentive listeners, or adept at nonverbal cues, our communication style influences how we connect with others and express ourselves.
  7. Creativity and Imagination: Creativity is the spark that ignites innovation and originality, allowing us to think outside the box and approach problems from new perspectives. Whether expressed through art, music, writing, or problem-solving, our creativity sets us apart and infuses our lives with richness and depth.
  8. Sense of Humor: A sense of humor is a unique trait that brings lightness and joy to our interactions and relationships. Whether we’re quick-witted, sarcastic, or have a penchant for puns, our sense of humor adds flavor to our personalities and helps us navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and laughter.
  9. Empathy and Compassion: Empathy and compassion are qualities that connect us to others on a deeper level, fostering understanding, kindness, and empathy. Whether it’s offering a listening ear, extending a helping hand, or showing empathy towards others’ struggles, these traits enrich our relationships and make the world a better place.
  10. Resilience and Adaptability: Resilience and adaptability are essential traits that enable us to weather life’s storms and thrive in the face of adversity. Whether it’s bouncing back from setbacks, embracing change, or navigating uncertain times, these traits showcase our strength and resilience in the face of challenges.

In essence, it’s the unique combination of these personal traits that makes each of us a one-of-a-kind individual. Embracing our individuality allows us to celebrate our differences, connect with others authentically, and contribute our unique perspectives and talents to the world around us. So let us cherish our personal traits, for they are the threads that weave the tapestry of our identity and make life a colorful and enriching journey.

References

Blickle, G. (1996). Personality traits, learning stratigies, and performance. European Journal of personality, 10(5), 337-352.

Borghans, L., Duckworth, A. L., Heckman, J. J., & Ter Weel, B. (2008). The economics and psychology of personality traits. Journal of human Resources, 43(4), 972-1059.

Goldberg, L. R. (1993). The structure of phenotypic personality traits. American psychologist, 48(1), 26.

Hampson, S. E. (2012). Personality processes: Mechanisms by which personality traits “get outside the skin”. Annual review of psychology, 63, 315-339.

Matthews, G., Deary, I. J., & Whiteman, M. C. (2003). Personality traits. Cambridge University Press.

Olver, J. M., & Mooradian, T. A. (2003). Personality traits and personal values: A conceptual and empirical integration. Personality and individual differences, 35(1), 109-125.

Sharma, S. N. (2016). Introduction to Sociology. New Perspectives in Sociology and Allied Fields, 1.

Assertiveness – An Essential Life Skill Everyone Should Master

Have you ever wondered how some people have a natural ability to express their opinions and views confidently, politely turn down the things that they don’t want to do and still manage to maintain a good rapport with people ? Do you think it is some superpower that they are born with ? Well, this superpower that they possess is called Assertiveness. And the good news is that with the help of the right strategies and dedicated practice, you too can develop this superpower.

What is assertiveness ?

Assertiveness is a healthy behaviour that helps you  express your views, feelings, needs and desires  in a calm, clear and reasonable way without  disrespecting the other person.It is a crucial life skill that enables you to stand up for your rights without undermining those of others’. Assertiveness doesn’t come naturally to most people. Often, they tend to respond passively or end up responding aggressively. At times people may also choose to respond in a passive-aggressive manner, which can be considered as a combination of these two types.

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Why do you need to be assertive ?

Passive people often end up doing things that they really don’t want to do in an attempt to please others and eventually it takes a toll on their self esteem and confidence. On the other hand, the aggressive ones, though most of the time manage to get their ways, often find their insecurities getting worse due to their behaviour and end up being lonely and dissatisfied in life. In the case of passive aggressive responses, it may work well initially, but in the long run, the guilt of not being open and honest with people starts weighing them down and affects their relationships with people adversely.

By being assertive, you are honest in your thoughts and words and express yourself clearly, while remaining empathetic and fair. An assertive person knows how to strike a balance between speaking up for himself and respecting the rights and beliefs of the other person. They are firm without being rude and also adept at handling their emotions. 

Well, it all sounds good in theory, but putting it into practice requires a lot of effort. Be prepared for the numerous sighs, eye rolls, I-Can’t-Believe-You-Said-No lectures, rants on how disrespectful and rude you are etc., that are bound to come your way during this journey of being assertive. But trust me once you have passed the initial phase of discomfort, you will find that it’s way less stressful and a lot easier to express yourself effectively.

How to be assertive ?

Have a clear idea about your core values and beliefs

Only if you have a clear understanding about yourself and your core values, will you be able to express yourself clearly and confidently. A good place to start is by assessing your behaviour, style and thought pattern. Identify those beliefs that prevent you from standing up for yourself. Look out for the triggers that blow your fuse. Dig deeper into your mind and identify your core values. Ask yourself  whether your actions and responses align with your core values. This understanding of yourself and your values is the foundation of self confidence which in turn is the cornerstone of assertiveness.

Speak up even if your voice shakes

Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you don’t particularly agree on the thing that the majority agrees with, instead of nodding along or yelling at them, try putting across your views honestly in a clear and composed tone. It might be difficult in the beginning and you might have a hard time controlling your emotions and tone. But with practice you’ll find your confidence and ability to articulate your thoughts gradually improving. Trust the process and keep practicing.

Accept both the bricks and bouquets gracefully

Whenever you are starting out on something new, you are bound to face criticisms and if you are lucky you might end up winning a few compliments as well. Accept both with an open mind. Graciously accept the compliments and train yourself to handle criticisms positively.

I.Wish.I.Could.But.I.Don’t.Want.To 

If you were to ask a people pleaser what scares him the most – dealing with Dracula or saying No – chances are high that his answer would be the latter. Well, saying No can be hard not just for people pleasers but for everyone. But it is one of the crucial skills to master on your journey of becoming an assertive person. Acknowledge the request and then give a short but clear and honest reply. Remember that neither do you owe anybody a justification nor an apology for your decision. In any relationship, people generally appreciate transparency and by being open and honest about your feelings you are doing yourself as well as the other person a favour.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a skill that helps you better understand the other person’s perspective. While being assertive, respecting and considering the other person’s opinions and views is as important as articulating your thoughts. So it is important that you pay attention to what the other person says. Don’t shy away from asking questions if you need further information or clarification. By giving the other person room to explain himself, you are laying the basis for a constructive discussion and by attentively listening to him you are giving yourself a chance to view things from his perspective.

Watch your tone and body language

To have the desired impact, it’s not enough that you express yourself respectfully and honestly but you also need to maintain an assertive body language and tone while you speak. A relaxed open posture, good eye contact and the perfect mix of firmness and composure in the tone play a vital role in projecting your confidence. And this applies both when you are speaking as well as listening. 

‘I’ vs ‘You’

While expressing yourself, one thing that you need to keep remaining yourself is that your focus should be on the issue and not on pulling the other person down. To get your points across firmly and respectfully, use phrases like ‘I feel’, ‘In my opinion’, ‘I would like’  etc . The impact the expression  ‘I feel that my choice would be better in this case’  makes is way different from the one  the expression ‘Your choice is terrible’ makes . The latter points fingers at the other person and ridicules his choice whereas the former gets your point across without engaging in the blame game. 

Take a moment to reflect on your progress

Every time, after you’ve faced a situation where you acted assertively or at least tried to do so,  take a moment to reflect on what went well and what did not. Remember not to be too hard on yourself. Taking time out to review your progress helps you in understanding how far you have come in this journey of being assertive. It also gives you an opportunity to identify your weak points and the areas you need to work on. Also, helps you in identifying your behavioural patterns and thought process better. Consistent practice, along with periodic reflection, makes sure that your ride ahead is safe and smooth

Final Thoughts

Assertiveness may be a natural trait for a lucky few, but for most people it is a skill that needs practice and time to develop. During this journey, if you find yourself slipping to aggressive or passive modes, at times, just keep in mind that even the person who has won the ‘The Most Assertive Person of the Year’ award may not respond assertively 100% of the time. Instead of beating yourself up for such occasional goof ups, focus your attention on learning from them and fine tuning your assertiveness skills. Good Luck !

Handling Criticism Like A Pro

Everyone of us, at some point in our lives, would have faced criticism in one form or the other (except of course if we’ve chosen to shut ourselves up in a room and not attempt anything at all in life). It might be about anything – about what you have said or done or not done or the way you dress or about your work, the list just goes on. Criticism pops up everywhere. It’s as much a part and parcel of our lives as the air we breathe, and hence learning how to deal with it gracefully is an important life skill to have.

Is Criticism good for you ?

Criticism, wrapped up and delivered even in the best of the packaging, is not something that anybody actually enjoys. The instant reaction to it in most cases is to close ourselves up and get into defensive mode. So identifying whether it’s constructive or destructive is a key step that’ll help you in figuring out whether it’s good or bad for you.

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So, what exactly is Constructive and Destructive criticism ?

Constructive Criticism is a way of giving feedback with an intention of helping you improve yourself. It not just points out your mistakes and weaknesses, but also includes suggestions for improvement and the actions that need to be taken. It can be considered as that much needed reality check which we all need from time to time. 

Destructive Criticism on the other hand is given with the sole intention of tearing you down. The reasons for doing that may be many – jealousy, insecurities, ignorance, complexes, boredom etc. Here, instead of commenting on the actions of a person, the focus mainly is on attacking the person and pulling him down. The critic in this case, is not in the least interested in your well being or improvement.

So, as you might have figured out by now, constructive criticism more often than not, represents an opportunity. It helps you in identifying your weaknesses, which you might otherwise be unaware of and enables you to see things from a different perspective. Whereas destructive criticism is more or less an attempt by a person to let his steam off at the expense of others. 

How do you identify them ?

Honestly, when you are out there at the receiving end, identifying whether it’s constructive or destructive would probably be the last thing on your mind. But before you pounce on your critic, just pause and take a deep breath. Wait, what ? Yes you read it right. Pause and take a deep breath (Remember, deep breath not an annoyed sigh ! You don’t want to worsen the situation, do you ?) Let the emotions flow through you. Do not restrict it but also do not take it out on the other person.It’s not easy but it’s definitely doable. If you find it hard to refrain yourself from blowing a fuse, excuse yourself and take some time out before responding. Setting your emotions aside and getting into a frame of mind where you are calm enough to analyse the situation rationally, is the most difficult but important step to take, while facing criticism. 

Once you have calmed yourself down, listen to the other person without interrupting. By listening, I meant active listening and not just nodding along while thinking about ways on how to attack the critic back. Allow the other person to share their thoughts and comments completely. While listening, focus on the content of the comment and not on the tone. Sometimes even the best intended criticisms may sound harsh or even worse, the most toxic comments may be presented in the most tactful manner. So it’s very important that you detach the content from the tone.

At this point, you can try and  repeat back what you have heard and understood. Be careful to do that in a non aggressive tone. By repeating back, you are not only making sure that you aren’t misinterpreting their comments, but also helping yourself understand the comment better. When you take a step back and remove yourself from the equation and focus just on the comment, chances are that you may be able to view it through a different lens. At this stage, by analysing it objectively, you will be able to figure out the intention behind it – whether you are actually being attacked or is it just your ego playing tricks on you.

If you are still confused, seek clarification. Break it down and  ask questions. When you are asking questions, do it with an open mind and not with an intention to prove the other person wrong. You can ask for specific examples to get better clarity on the issue raised or ask for suggestions on how the situation could have been handled differently. Be genuinely curious in finding the intention. If the critic actually means well, he’ll be able to give you answers or suggestions or atleast give you valid and logical reasons to back his comment, which might help you to see things from the critic’s perspective. Destructive criticism shatters under scrutiny – no logic, no reasons, nothing but just a set of toxic statements thrown at you with the sole intention of hurting your self-esteem and  pulling you down.

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How to deal with criticism ?

So now that you have calmly analysed the issue and identified whether the criticism was meant to help you or to tear you down, it’s time to take action. 

Okay, but before that, you may now take a moment to appreciate yourself for successfully pulling off the I-Can-Be-Calm-No-Matter-What version of you. A little bit of self appreciation always helps to put that vulnerable little child inside you in a better mood. 

Alright, now that you are slightly in a better mood, let’s get to business. Let’s say you have identified the criticism to be toxic, what do you think you should do next ?  Tell them that their points are baseless ? Make them understand that you are right and argue until you prove your point ? Or give them a taste of their own medicine and criticise them ? Well, the best course of action here would be to ignore. Ignore ? Seriously? But how can you just walk away when somebody is attacking you and challenging your self worth?   

Well, it might sound all philosophical and seem like something that only people roaming about with a halo around their heads can do. But trust me, it is the most logical thing to do,  given such a situation. Think about it, here is a person who is trying to derogate and destroy your self-esteem, confidence and reputation using some baseless and illogical set of arguments. Do you think if that person was logical enough he would have stooped to this level ? No matter what you do, understand that he has come with a closed mindset and a fixed agenda, that is,to insult you. Nothing you say or do is going to knock sense into that person’s head. And moreover it’s not even your responsibility to do that.There’s no point in wasting your time and energy on such people, so just let it go. Politely excuse yourself, thank the person for the feedback and move on with your life. 

Now, let’s come to constructive criticism. When you receive it, ask yourself ‘Does this align with my priorities ?’ For example, you might be criticised for not making that perfect pasta or for being lousy at tennis. Ask yourself, does it really matter ? Is this really a priority in your life ? Well, depending upon your goals, it might or might not be. In any case it is important that you identify that. And if the suggestion doesn’t align with your priorities, even though it is constructive, there is no point investing too much of your time in it. So, take note of it and ask for suggestions on how to improve, if you feel a need for that and move on.And hey, don’t forget to thank your critic !

Now, what if it aligns with your priorities ? Then set your ego aside and  ask yourself – ‘Deep down, do I agree with what is being said ?’  If you can’t bring yourself to agree to it, respectfully disagree. Present your side of the story. Engage in a constructive discussion.Chances are that when you do it, the other person may understand your perspective or vice-versa.Either way it’s a win-win. However, there are chances that you both might not come to a conclusion at all. Accept the fact that everyone is entitled to have their own opinions and perspectives and it’s perfectly okay not to be on the same page always. So just agree to disagree and peacefully move on.

Finally, let’s say that the little voice inside your head secretly agrees to all the charges that you are accused of. In that case, buckle up, it’s time for action. If you find that there is truth in what the other person has said, then do not shy away from acknowledging it. Analyse the comment, deconstruct it and figure out what needs to be addressed and what measures need to be taken to learn and evolve from your mistakes. You may even take suggestions from your critic on the steps that need to be taken. Accepting your mistakes and learning from them is a great way to kick-start your journey of self improvement. 

Bottom Line

Criticism comes in all shapes and forms. Neither can you avoid it nor can you control the way others perceive you. The only thing you have control over is your attitude towards it and the way you choose to respond to it. It is important that you identify the intent behind it and take action accordingly. And depending on it, you can either use the criticism as a foundation to build a better future for yourself or choose to ignore it if it’s not worthy of your time and energy. Having said that, I also want you to know that developing a positive attitude towards criticism is not something that comes easy. It takes time, patience and hell a lot of practice. So be gentle with yourself; take it one step at a time. And while you are at it, don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest of your milestones. Good Luck !