live-In Relationships Illegal or not?

Denial of granting protection to a couple who are in a live-in relationship only because it is socially and morally unacceptable. is it justified on the part of Punjab and Haryana High Court? The boy and the girl had been in a living relationship that goes against the girl’s parents will.

The couple asked for protection from the court for their life and liberty after being frightened by their families. Unfortunately, they were denied protection. the denial of their right under Article 21, in this case, is inappropriate. The judgment by the court seizes their identity as per Article 21 as well as the right to “life or liberty”.Article 21 declares that every individual has the right to their life or personal liberty. Therefore to secure their right the couple moved before the Punjab and Haryana High Court for the protection under Article 21, which is dismissed by the court on the ground of social and moral unacceptability. while rejecting the petition, the high court interpreted that the term “person” means those who are recognized by law as being capable of having legal rights and being bound by legal duties, not a couple. After getting married, a man and woman are considered capable of having legal rights and duties known as rights in the institution of marriage. But only when the marriage has been done as per their respective marriage laws in force in India.

The denial of the right to life and liberty is completely inappropriate in the law. Since no law in India criminalizes pre-marriage, it would be more like legislation by the judiciary to hold pre-marriage illegal based on social morals. There is no force of law in an opinion that has been embraced by the conservative majoritarian masses of India who find it illegitimate. The decision rendered by the Punjab and Haryana High court erred in ascertaining the aforesaid point. In place of assistance, the couple became the subject of discrimination held by the conservative majoritarian masses.

Rakshabandhan in 2020: How it is going to be different…

“There’s no other love like the love for a brother. There’s no other love like the love from a brother.” –Astrid Alauda

Rakshabandhan is popular, traditionally Hindu, annual rite, or ceremony, which is central to a festival of the same name, celebrated in India, Nepal, and other parts of the Indian subcontinent, and among people around the world influenced by Hindu culture. The festival is a festival of love, care, and happiness. It symbolizes the existing love between brother and sister. On this day, sisters of all ages tie a talisman, or amulet, called the rakhi, around the wrists of their brothers, symbolically protecting them, receiving a gift in return, and traditionally investing the brothers with a share of the responsibility of their potential care.

Rakshabandhan

Despite being a part of Hindu culture, due to its moral values, the festival is celebrated by other cultures as well. Among women and men who are not blood relatives, there is also a transformed tradition of voluntary kin relations, achieved through the tying of rakhi amulets, which have cut across caste and class lines, and Hindu and Muslim divisions. In some communities or contexts, other figures, such as a matriarch, or a person in authority, can be included in the ceremony in ritual acknowledgment of their benefaction.

Every year, this festival has been awaited by all of us. It gives a chance for the celebration of a selfless and beautiful relation. For some families, this is the occasion where sisters get a chance (out of their busy schedule) to finally visit their brother and celebrate their love. The occasion begins from the previous day itself, with sisters buying beautiful rakhis and sweets for their brothers and applying Mehendi on their hands. Next early morning, both sisters and brothers dress up in new clothes. The sister ties Rakhi on brother’s hand offers him sweet and sings love songs for him depicting brother-sister relation. The brother then gives her sister a gift and along with that a promise of “protection against any problem in her life.”

Every year, this is the time when families travel to each others’ houses to celebrate the festival. But this time, the festival falls amid these harsh times when the whole world is standing against a pandemic, COVID-19. Rakshabandhan is the first major festival of Hindus after the beginning of the pandemic. Therefore, it is a challenge for all of us to get along with the charm of the festival by taking all the precautions and by maintaining social distancing. This year, it is difficult for sisters to visit their brothers if they live in a different city or state. Each year, we can easily have a get-together and celebrate the festival. But, every year, we have our soldiers, policemen, doctors, workers who are away from their home, on their duty even during festivals for the service of their country. This time, we have got a very golden chance to serve our country and fight against the pandemic by staying at our homes. We can spread happiness and celebrate the festival with our police brothers, doctors, and nurses who are truly working as our safeguard for our protection. We can tie Rakhi out of respect to them, making them realize that they are true heroes and fulfilling the responsibilities of a brother.

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Apart from this, in this time of the internet, even though we are staying far, we are always connected through the internet. We are never apart. We can celebrate the festival over a video call. It will a new experience and it will be great fun. One more thing we need to remember that though some sisters are not able to go to their brother, due to pandemic, colleges and schools are closed. This brings young brothers and sisters together who usually don’t get holidays on Rakshabandhan when colleges run regularly. They must be together after a long time and enjoying the togetherness.

“As we grew up, my brothers acted like they didn’t care, but I always knew they looked out for me and were there!” – Catherine Pulsifer

International Friendship Day

“True freinds are never apart, may be in distance but never in heart.”

International Friendship Day is a day in several countries for celebrating friendship. It is celebrated on July 30 every year across the globe. The day is celebrated to mark the importance of friendships and friends in promoting peace in various cultures across the globe, to cherish friendship and value the people in our lives.

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The idea of World Friendship Day was first proposed by Dr. Ramon Artemio Bracho in 1958 in Paraguay. He coined this term when he was having dinner with his friends in Puerto Pinasco. The dinner hosted by Dr. Ramon Artemio Bracho gave rise to the World Friendship Crusade, which is a foundation that encourages friendships across the world irrespective of race, color, religion, and ethnicity.  In 2011, the Friendship Crusade, on April 27, 2011, the General Assembly of the United Nations declared July 30 as official International Friendship Day. It was initially promoted by the greeting cards’ industry, evidence from social networking sites shows a revival of interest in the holiday that may have grown with the spread of the Internet, particularly in India, Bangladesh, and Malaysia. Mobile phones, digital communication, and social media have contributed to popularize the custom. It is also celebrated by exchanging gifts and planning outings with friends. In India, people celebrate this day by giving colorful friendship bands and flowers to each other.

Those who promote the holiday in South Asia attribute the tradition of dedicating a day in the honor of friends to have originated in the United States in 1935 but it actually dates back to 1919. The exchange of Friendship Day gifts like flowers, cards, and wrist bands is a popular tradition on this occasion.

Friendship Day celebrations occur on different dates in different countries. The first World Friendship Day was proposed for 30 July in 1958, by the World Friendship Crusade. On 27 April 2011, the General Assembly of the United Nations declared 30 July as official International Friendship Day with the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures, and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities. However, several countries celebrate friendship day in before and after the UN-designated date. In India, Friendship Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of every August. In Nepal, Friendship day is celebrated on 30 July each year. In Oberlin, Ohio, Friendship Day is celebrated on 9 April each year.

“Friendship is the base of every relation. It is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.” 

According to the United Nations’ website, “Through friendship — by accumulating bonds of camaraderie and developing strong ties of trust — we can contribute to the fundamental shifts that are urgently needed to achieve lasting stability, weave a safety net that will protect us all, and generate passion for a better world where all are united for the greater good.” The UN resolution places emphasis on involving young people, as future leaders, in community activities that include different cultures and promote international understanding and respect for diversity. To mark the International Day of Friendship the UN encourages governments, international organizations, and civil society groups to hold events, activities, and initiatives that contribute to the efforts of the international community towards promoting a dialogue among civilizations, solidarity, mutual understanding, and reconciliation.

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“Freindship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”

 

 

The practice of gratitude

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” – Ekhart Tolle

Gratitude, thankfulness, or gratefulness, is a feeling of appreciation felt by or similar positive response shown by the recipient of kindness, gifts, help, favors, or other types of generosity, towards the giver of such gifts. Gratitude turns what we already have into enough. It gives us a feeling of satisfaction and eternal peace. Gratitude is the best medicine, it heals one’s mind, body, and spirit, and it attracts more things to be grateful for.

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Why do we need to practice gratitude?

“The struggle ends where gratitude begins”.

We all are surrounded by beautiful nature, we have our favorite people around us and we have enough food, clothes, and facilities. But, it is quite common that we take these things for granted. When we take things for granted, we are not satisfied with what we have and we strive to get something else, if we get it, then again we want something else, and we are never satisfied. Consider the present situation where we all are sitting at our respective houses. Earlier we could freely roam around, walk-in streets and parks, visit beautiful places, enjoy the fresh air and beauty of nature. But, we used to take all these for granted. We were really not grateful for the places around us, the beauty around us. But, now we realize its importance. The reality is that we always have enough of the resources around us for our survival. But, sadness drives in when we don’t appreciate what we have and take that for granted. Each one of us is living a life that is actually a dream life for a second person. So, just embrace it.

Imagine your life without the people around you, who are always there with you and support you. If you remove them from your life and think deeply, you will realize that they have a big role to play in your life which you never really thought about. The people around you are precious, value them, and be grateful to them that they are with you. Imagine a day without food, clothes, shoes, or air. If you do this exercise, you realize that you have enough of these things. Your desire to eat in a restaurant and to wear stylish clothes was really not that important. You get your food every day, you have clothes and shoes to wear. So, be thankful for what you have. Each and everything we get in our life, each and everything happening to us is very valuable to build us, to build our personality. Everything happens for a good reason. Being thankful for everything we get and for every event we come across gives us a satisfactory feeling, it eliminates negativity and makes our life more pleasurable. Saying thank you to another person pleases them and us too.

What do we get out of it?

A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles. The day you start practicing gratitude, it never ends. The more you express your gratitude for what you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for. It gives you immense peace, happiness, and satisfaction. It rewires our brain and reduces stress. It boosts our immunity, improves relationships, and makes each day more beautiful. It makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Gratitude is the most wonderful feeling. Once you start practicing it, there is no way back.

“Thank You ” is the best prayer anyone could say.

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Balance life with balance

‘Balance’, a word, simple and easy to understand but yet difficult to put in reality. The most crucial thing for the smooth running of life is ‘to maintain balance’, balance in everything, the balance of emotions, the balance of relations, the balance of food, the balance of thoughts, the balance of exertions, and whatnot. As we grow, we discover that a mistake we did earlier in life was due to a lack of balance of certain things at that point in time. Any problem that we face can be solved if we are able to identify what all things need to be balanced to manage this problem.

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Life is all about maintaining a balance between various factors/parameters that govern our life. And this balance is unique for each individual, in the sense that the importance of various elements of one’s life is different for different people. No one can decide it for us that how much importance to give to certain things that to others to maintain a balance. The balance of various things of our life that we make depends on our priorities, our comfort, our boundaries, and our mind and heart. The balance of things for a perfect life for two different people can often be very different.

We can understand it in this manner: whenever we cook food, we add all the spices in some specified amount according to our taste depending on the level of spicy food we prefer. Also, we add salt according to taste. If we try to add more of any particular spices, let’s say red chili, then it may ruin the taste of food for us as we can’t eat that spicy. However, the same food can still be found yummy by some other person who loves to eat spicy and is comfortable with eating spicy food. The same is the case with adding more or less salt. Here salt and various spices are similar to the various important elements of our life.

A perfect balance is a solution to every problem. But the reality is, it is quite difficult to figure out what is a perfect balance for us, what will work for us. It is a process of self-learning and self-realization. We can learn this only after making some mistakes as we move forward in life.

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Let’s discuss some of these balance that we need in brief:

  • The balance between various relations – We humans hold tons of relations in our entire life. It starts from the day we are born and it keeps on increasing as we grow. Each relation is important and can be maintained through proper balance.
  • The balance of thoughts – We need to balance between positive and negative thoughts. Though it is said always to be positive and always think positively, it is not true. It is also important to have some negative thoughts. It helps us to make back-up plans, it makes us aware, it can also boost us sometimes. But, again, a balance between the two is important.
  • The balance of emotions – We are humans and emotions are the gift we got that make us different from other creatures. Each human gets all types of experience. Even if you are a saint, you will find yourself getting angry. The thing is how you took your emotion and how you are managing it to bring the best out of you.
  • The balance of food – We need a balanced diet to maintain good health. A balance of various nutrients namely, protein, carbohydrates, proteins, fibers, etc is important for a healthy lifestyle.
  • The balance between work and home – Another important balance is the balance between work and home. Our work helps us to improve and grow and it keeps us focused, our home is our strength, it is our backbone and provides us emotional support. It is important to have a balance between the two.

So, the trick is to figure out the balance which will work for us in life and work with it. We should also understand that what might be a perfect balance for us today may not be a perfect balance for us tomorrow. So, it needs to be a bit flexible. We must realize that the small word ‘balance’ has a big importance for the smooth functioning of our lives.

THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA

Source :Google

“A man can be destroyed, but not defeated” ~~Ernest Hemingway

Author :Ernest Hemingway

Country :United States

Language :English

Published :1952

Pages:127

Awards:Pulitzer Prize for Fiction (1953),Nobel Prize in Literature (1954)

ISBN- 0-684-80122-1

Dewaj Decimal – 813.52

LC class- PS3515. E37

‘The Old Man And The Sea’ is one of the most popular novel written by Ernest Hemingway. While, he is known as the master of brevity, his concise works also are much more complex than they would first appear, and ‘The Old Man And The Sea’ is no exception. The book was published on 1952.The story goes through the life of an old man named Santiago.

Santiago is a old fisherman who has gone for 84 days without catching a fish. His dream is to catch a big fish, so that he can prove his life is not a failure. On the 85th day old man sets out to the open sea. He goes a little farther out than he normally would in his desperation to catch a big fish. After sometimes he saw a big fish, but it is very difficult for him to handle. He expertly hooks the fish, but he cannot pull it in. Instead the fish begins to pull the boat. For two days they battle and Santiago wins that battle, but on the way back to his home scavenger sharks came and ate the flesh of the big fish. The skeleton was only there when he reach the shore. As soon as he reached, he fell asleep. undefined

The story is told with incredible economy of words and description, yet nothing is sacrificed which drives home the power and inner strength of this man, who just takes it as what he does, what it is to be a serious fisherman.

There is a side tale as well. This great individual the old man who stands alone, is not alone completely by choice. He has developed a friendship, a working relationship, a love with a young boy who began fishing with him, when the boy was only five. Now the boy has moved on to another boat, a more successful one,at his parents behest, but he pines to work with Santiago, and when the battle with the great fish has been engaged Santiago pleads over and over :”I wish the boy were here”.

The novel seems to be a simple story. It however has lots of hidden meanings which reflect on society and human’s personality. I got three lessons from this novel, which are patience, courage and friendship. Santiago’s patience is suggestive of satisfaction and happiness after the patience. We are faced with lots of hardships and suffering. We often give up and feel desperate from it. It is not easy to struggle with those. Santiago’s life and challenge encourage us not to be frustrated.

At last, I suggest that this novel is valuable to read. It is not only because this novel is famous or interesting but also there are morals and messages and even courage.

Heads- I Stay, Tails- I go

Advice for making taxing decisions about friendships, and not by tossing a coin on google.

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have been in friendship limbo- a weird patch of uncertainty where we don’t know whether to stay in or leave a friendship. There are several catalysts that can lead us to limbo land, and the tricky part is that the only way to get out of it is to make an ultimate decision. Like Marilla Cuthbert choosing whether to keep Anne or not, you may feel torn about the outcomes of two completely contrasting options. Unlike Marilla’s initial quick judgement, I definitely recommend taking just enough time decide what you want to do. 

If you’re unsure about your text move, don’t stress about it. Take the time you need. Are friendship breakups terrible? yes, but so are unhealthy and toxic friendships. Whether your friendship limbo is a result of the ever changing dynamics, circumstances or conflicts, it is worth gaining some perspective on the friendship and checking in with yourself by asking questions like these: 

  1. Does this friendship bring joy to me? 
  2. Does this person make my life better by being in it? 
  3. Is this person treating me with love and respect?

For now, with these three questions in mind, let’s get going.

Should I stay if the circumstances are bad?

Sometimes, the choice to end or continue a friendship only comes down to the current circumstances. Maybe your friend is moving to a different city. Maybe you’re both in the same city but are attending different schools or colleges. Either way, most friendships begin only because the circumstances were favourable. You were both in the same class, shared the same interests, watched the same movie & shows or maybe you were neighbours since childhood. But, circumstances change, it’s life as we know it.

To help you bring clarity to the situation, you can start by referring to the questions above. If this is friendship makes you feel valued and loved, you have your answer. However, there are more things to think about as well, like how much energy and time you’re willing to spend on maintaining a long-distance friendship. Long-distance friendships are no doubt tough, but can also be insanely rewarding. 

Make an effort to call and text them at least once a week. Be understanding during the weeks where you don’t talk to each other. From time zone differences to hectic schedules, remind yourself that you won’t be able to be in contact with each other every day. This can at times seem like a lot, if you’re not cool with putting this much effort into maintaining your friendship, then that is completely alright. Similarly, if the friend hasn’t been particularly a positive person in your life, think about the new circumstances as a sign to let go of the friendship. 

We’re growing apart, but should I stay?

When you realize that things just aren’t the same. There, again, can be several catalysts behind this realization: the negative comments that they passed and later laughed them off but you can’t stop thinking about, an unsatisfying meetup or stumbling upon something they said before that now deeply hurts you. The important part here is that you can’t get this new information out of your head, you can’t undercut the blatant incompatibility and are now left to decide which move to make next. Do you give the friendship a shot and try to save it, or do you let it slip away? How do you know that this isn’t just a phase? 

Growing apart is distressing, perplexing and often destabilizing, which can often cause resentment and anger. However, feelings like these are negative, we want to avoid holding onto them and instead, advocate open and honest conversations with the friend. If, after referring to the above questions, you conclude that your friendship with your friend is worth recovering and working upon, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Growth is usually a good thing, people changing usually means they’re growing into the person they want, like or are supposed to be.
  • This could just be a phase. Often in long friendships, there are periods you don’t talk for days and days, even weeks, because your personalities were, point-blank, totally incompatible and contrasting. But only temporarily. 
  • Before you make the decision to cut off a close friend, consider openly communicating with them. Call them and say, “Hey, I feel like we’re not on the same page right now. This friendship matters a lot to me and I want to maintain it, even if that means it’s going to be different.”

When I think about changing relationships, I think about this quote that I found on tumblr- “People change and forget to tell each other.” Just like you’re not trying to hurt anyone when you change, no one else is intentionally trying to hurt you when they change. We have to let the people we love and care about do what’s best for them, and sometimes, that means letting them do their own thing while we do ours!

Susceptibility doesn’t attract pitfalls

The best aspect of being human is to be able to connect with other humans. We are hardwired for it. We live in clans and families, work in unions, love as mates and thrive in camaraderies. The urge to connect is in all of us whether we concede it or not.
We are witnessing more loneliness, despairs, broken relationships and disconnections. What is going on?
Susceptibility is the driving force of connection. It is intrepid and tender. It is difficult to connect without it.
However, we have turned it into a drawback.
We have made ourselves ‘strong’. We have toughened up, hardened up and preserved ourselves from being hurt. We have safeguarded ourselves from vulnerability and refused to surrender. Here is the problem. When we close down our vulnerability we are shielded from hurt, but we are also shielded from love, intimacy and connection. They come to us through the same door. When we close it to one, we close it to all.
Without vulnerability, relationships struggle. Vulnerability is, Here I am – my frayed edges, my secrets, my fears, my affection. Be careful – they’re precious. In return, it invites, I see you there. It’s okay, you’re safe. It builds trust, proximity and a sense of belonging. Relationships won’t thrive without it.
Vulnerability is the openness to experiences, people and uncertainty. It’s terrifying at times, and brave enough always. 

Occasionally we get hurt. Relationship pain is an unavoidable part of being human. When it happens it can steal you. But we can see this for what it is – a mismatch of people, a redirection, learning, a happening – or we can take it as a warning and protect ourselves from the possibility of being hurt again. In this case, we make the decision to not be vulnerable.
We shut it down. By shutting down to the risks of being vulnerable, we also shut down to the possibilities – the possibility of joy, intimacy, closeness, gratitude and connection.

Listen to and move towards what you really want. It’s that voice that speaks from intuition, experience and things unsaid. It’s the signal, sometimes faint sometimes not, to love openly and honestly and receive it gratefully. And to walk away when it’s gone. Move towards what you want and be vulnerable to the risk – it’s the bravest thing you’ll do. When you live with heart, you’ll feel when there’s something missing, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

What would you do if you could act without fear of shame? Would you change jobs? Follow your passion? Tell someone you love them? Tell someone you miss them? Expect more for yourself? Get rid of relationships that hurt? Fight harder for the relationship you’re in? You can’t trust that there won’t be rejection and disappointment, but you can trust that you’ll cope with it if it happens – which you will. What’s harder to live with is teetering around the edges of something that feels important, wanting more but never dropping the guard enough – being vulnerable enough – to let it in.

Question your beliefs. Sometimes we believe things for so long they just settle in and stay. Challenge whether or not they’re still working for you. What could happen if you open up, take a chance, let yourself be vulnerable? Too often behaviour is driven by the need to avoid shame – the need to avoid receiving any proof that you’re not worthy of love, connection and receiving what you’ve asked for.  The more you think you’re not worthy, the more you’ll act as though it’s true and the more you disconnect. What if you believed you were worth the connection? The risk of not being received is always there, but this is no reflection of any unworthiness in you.

As explained by Brene Brown, people with a strong sense of love and belonging believe that vulnerability is a necessity. They believe that within their vulnerabilities are the things that make them beautiful and they’re right. Vulnerability is the key to correlate because it is the courage to be open to another human. It’s saying the words that are clutching within. It’s opening yourself up to somebody getting closer. It’s letting them know. It’s giving without expectation or agenda and receiving with an open heart.

Increasingly we are living in a fixit world. We have little tolerance for uncertainty or discomfort and tend to move quickly toward resolution. We fix everything – problems, health, feelings, people. Sometimes though, uncertainty or discomfort is exactly where we need to be. It’s here that we often find clarity and insight and a readiness to move forward or pull back. Don’t be too quick to move out of uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes they’re the richest source of growth and information about what’s right.

Vulnerability does not mean oversharing and offering every detail of your life up for consumption by anyone. It is about intention. There are those you hold close or want to, who are worth taking a risk for. You open up, you let them know, you offer some of yourself and hope it will be received. Then there are those who you know, but who may not have earned your vulnerability. 

Your vulnerability still has to be earned by others to some extent, but you have to be ready to see when someone deserves it from you.
Offering every detail of your life to the person behind you, can walk dangerously close to a lack of boundaries and can leave you overexposed.

Somewhere along the way, the need to protect ourselves from being vulnerable has trumped the need to connect. Few things hurt as deeply and completely as the heartache that comes from relationships. But heartache and uncertainty is part of being human and its avoidance is getting in our way.

In response to this, we have stopped allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. We have turned vulnerability into weakness and guardedness into a strength.

Of course, there are times to be guarded, but there are also times to be vulnerable. We are protected, but we are disconnected.

Life happens – really happens – in the midst of our vulnerability. It’s here, in strength and with the greatest of courage, that we ask for help, tell someone we miss them, ask where we stand, feel. When we shut down our vulnerability, we shut down the possibility.

There are no guarantees. There never have been. But what is certain is that we deserve more than to have our vulnerability – the greatest vehicle to connection – shut down by fear. We cannot guarantee the outcome, but we can have faith in our ability to cope with it. Living and loving with a vulnerable, open heart will bring its own rewards. There is no daring more honest and more courageous than that which comes with respecting our vulnerability, embracing it and acting from it.