COMFORT ZONE- FRIEND OR ENEMY

The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, calm and secure.

– Roy T. Benett

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows here.”

Comfort zone as a friend ~

If something makes us feel safer, it could be our friend. This statement supports comfort zone to be our closest friend. And yes, it is our friend let’s see how.

• Drawing an experience

If you perform a task multiple times, you become master of it, so is the case of comfort zone. You are expert at it. You are experienced and well known to how things will work out , it is your arena where you know where are loopholes and how to make cover ups. Working in your comfort zone gives you experience.

• Confidence building

You become self assured with things around you, and that makes you more confidence. They feeling of being familiar, to the situations avoid all kind of nervousness and risk.

• Minimizing risk

Being in your comfort zone decreases chances of risk. We like to be in our ‘restricted zone’ because it is easier for us. Hence, chances of failure reduces. Less failure, more your performance will be maintained. Also it provides an equilibrium as well as stability in our field.

• Learn about yourself

Working with your comfort zone , you are aware of your strengths and how to use it. It also gives you platform where you are calm and comfortable knowing about yourself.

Comfort zone as an enemy ~

“Life begins at the end of comfort zone.”

• Death of curiosity

“Curiosity is the fuel of adventure, injury and learning.

Curiosity is what makes us human , ‘the eagerness to know’. Without being curious we cannot learn and discover. In every field questioning is more important than answers, good questions comes from great minds. Being in your comfort zone and not having eagerness demise all your opportunities to discover.

• No risk, no rewards

Insecurity loves to feed on your habit of not trying.

Whenever we try something new, there is always risk of failure , but if we not try we’ll never be able to know about our extends. For winning an unknown battlefield, we should have courage to take risk and to come out as a winner. (Reminder : if you lose, you still have learned). Coming out from your comfort zone will bring you to a position where miracles happen in form of learning something new i.e; rewards.

• Boundaries raised before growth

” To the degree we are not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have ourselves. ” ~ Peter McWilliams

Comfort zone limits our growth, if we don’t grow we will be in the same position in which we were 10 years back and also going to be in the same position in next 10 years. It’s like being stagnant which provides no place for flexibility and rising. If something scares you the most, don’t hesitate to give it a try. It’s is good to be in uncomfortable situations because it is finding our way out of such difficulties that we learn valuable lessons.

• No new skills

“It’s not about getting out of our comfort zone, to reach out our goals. It’s about widening our comfort zone so far that our goals fits comfortably inside. ” ~ Richie Nortan

Learning new skills, let us know more about ourselves. Every new skill we learn help us live our life better and also leave space for growth, stretching your comfort zone, opens door for all new opportunities and victories. Skill helps in throughout growth of a personality. If something is holding you back , you need to push up to learn.

By Esha Singh Sisodiya

Live beyond your comfort zone 🙂

7 important tips to manage aggression in children

Manage child aggression: To develop a sound value system, tell them stories. For very small children, stories should be pleasant, free of fighting and violence, about animals and nature, sharing and caring. When they are five or six, it is okay to introduce stories with good people and ‘bad’ people.

child, who wanted to be perceived as the strongest of all, would speak loudly, look angry and hit everyone to prove his strength. When his grandfather came to visit, he behaved in the same way with him. However, his grandpa was never agitated and just smiled at his actions. The child was bewildered as he was only used to getting yelled at for what he did. The more he was yelled at, the stronger he would become, is what he thought!

Grandpa shares the Buddha story

The grandfather asked him if he would like to hear a story and the boy agreed. “Once upon a time, there was an enlightened master called Buddha. He travelled across the country teaching people how to be peaceful. Once while he was going through a forest, a tribesman called Angulimala came to him. He was a frightening man. He wore a garland of fingers of people whom he had sacrificed so he would be the strongest and feared the most. He wanted to have Buddha’s finger as the hundredth and complete his sacrificing ritual. Buddha smiled at him and said, “I am happy to be of use to you”. There was no trace of fear in him. Nobody had ever smiled at Angulimala. No one had ever spoken to him so kindly. The very presence of Buddha did something to him. Angulimala felt very weak for the first time in his life. He felt like a feather in front of a mountain. He realised that real strength is in having unshakable calmness, peace, and in compassion. He fell at Buddha’s feet. He was changed completely.” The child listened to every word from his grandpa with rapt attention.

Look out for the media children are exposed to

When you feel helpless or weak, the need to assert your strength comes out as violence. Where do children get the idea of violence? They see their parents, neighbours, friends, so many programmes on TV or videos on the mobile phone — all this exposure leaves impressions and has a strong impact on the minds of children, more than we know. They are sensitive even to suppressed violence. If you are angry inside but still act as if everything is okay, children will know it.

Handling aggression

Children get angry or show aggression for seemingly very silly reasons. But the real reason is something else, a sense of insecurity that has crept in somehow. That is why in olden days, parents would never show anger in front of a child. They would not even argue or use harsh words. Public display of anger was considered a weakness. Today, anger and aggression comes up at the drop of a hat. Any minor difference of opinion is enough to prompt the arrows to fly. We don’t know how to draw a line between expressing a difference of opinion and displaying aggression. If your child is aggressive, look into your own lifestyle. What are you doing? Are you yelling at your housekeeper or at your pet? Are you yelling at your own spouse? Or any one for that matter in front of the child? Are you sad? What is your reaction? And it does not matter that out of the 365 days, you have acted in aggression may be only a couple of times. Those few days are equally important for the child. This is why we need to meditate and practice pranayama or deep breathing techniques. Heyum Dukham Anagatam — stopping the misery before it comes — that is the benefit of yoga, because in life prevention is better than cure.

Engaging children in meaningful activities

The other important thing is to engage them in meaningful activities, and sports that allow them to channel their energy constructively. Just playing video games or watching TV with no physical activity only increases restlessness and makes them prone to aggression. You will notice that the day your child has more screen time, the more difficult he or she becomes to handle. Encourage them to go out and play, engage with real people, run and fill their lungs with some fresh air. In the olden days, movies were classified as suitable for watching only under parental guidance. Parents would control what a child can see. Today, it is a common occurrence that the elders are all engrossed in watching soaps on TV and are oblivious to the child who is also watching and taking in all the exaggerated emotions that are projected. It is very important to be sensitive about what their tender senses are exposed to. They should not be bombarded with heavy impressions.

What kind of stories are we telling our children?

To develop a sound value system, tell them stories. For very small children, perhaps around three or four, stories should be pleasant, free of fighting and violence, about animals and nature, sharing and caring. When they are five or six it is okay to introduce stories with good people and ‘bad’ people. Every culture has its stories of heroes who protected the innocent and fought villains who were up to no good. Through these stories they understand that the purpose of strength is to protect and not to hurt. They learn that the hero, the stronger one, is calm and collected.

While it is important to reprimand anger, it is equally important to recognise when they are gentle and appreciate them. When I was a child and would sometimes get angry, my grandmother would ask me to go to a certain corner of the house and leave my anger there. She would say that the angel in that corner would take the anger from me and go far, far away. I would believe her, go stand there and in a minute, come back smiling! Schools today don’t teach children how to deal with negative emotions. This is an important aspect of moulding the character of the child. Teachers should be strict about encouraging the right attitude in children. They should recognise the strength of a child who is able to walk away from a fight and not just react and hit back. They should reward and give attention to calmness in a child. Many times, an aggressive attitude in a child comes out from simply wanting attention. So, you can teach them by ignoring their sulking or shouting, and praising them and giving extra attention when they are well-mannered. And parents should give teachers the space to discipline the child if necessary. It is okay if your child has been naughty and the teacher has disciplined him or her. Parents must encourage reverence towards the teacher. If they say, “Who is he or she to tell my child what to do!” the child will not listen or respect the teacher anymore. When this happens, learning stops.

Food is important

The food that we give to our children also has a role to play. Too many sweets, fried food (like chips) and oily food increase restlessness in a child. Also, their food must be freshly cooked as far as possible and not packaged items kept in cold storage. Encourage them to enjoy fruits as much as chips; perhaps one chip-one fruit can be the deal! Where possible, it is advisable to avoid food products made from genetically modified grains and vegetables. The food has a direct impact on the mind and when consumed over a period of time, has a definite impact on the nature or attitude of the child.

Above all this, as parents, it is important to spend quality time doing ‘nothing’ with your child. Just sitting with them without looking at our mobile phones, giving complete attention to what they have to say, just being with them 100 per cent gives a great sense of security to the child. An insecure child is more likely to succumb to aggression than one who feels secure and attended to.

Teach children that the one who smiles come-what-may is stronger.

Show them when to stand up for what is right, and when to walk away from a fight.

As much as you can, protect their innocence.

As much as you can, give them pride in non-violence.

Be kind to everyone

It is humbling to think that I have so much to give, when the truth is I have so much more to learn.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that each and every one of us can change the world!

It’s not results that soothe our souls; it’s actions. In a difficult world, kindness has amazing power.

Every day people endure stressful jobs, demanding relationships, and backbreaking responsibility. Every day people battle life threatening disease, face uncertain futures, and struggle to survive.

Each moment of our lives, someone, somewhere, is in need of kindness.

What you do for others energizes the universe. What you do for the universe energizes you.

Go slowly. Breathe, smile, and be present. Seek opportunities to make a difference, embrace the moments, and be grateful for every choice you make.

Breathe.

Opportunities for relaxing meditation exist in every episode of your life.

One that I particularly enjoy is strolling through a bustling airport. Always surrounded by a whirlwind of activity I become entranced in a guessing game of intentions. Where have travelers been? Where are they going? Are they smiling or crying, bundled up or in flip flops? Conquering the world, or leaving the world behind?

One can choose to be engulfed by the mayhem, or detached, able to savor each moment.

Smile when you check in, even if the person behind the counter has obviously had a bad day. Help someone stow their carry-on luggage, even if it takes the space you had spotted for your own.

Accept a delay as a chance to slow down, even if it means missing a connection. I doubt that pilots and flight attendants enjoy delays any more than passengers, and life will continue on its merry way with or without us.

My favorite moment is when the aircraft door closes. The past disappears and the future becomes real. I sit back, relax, and as the jet engines spool up, close my eyes and welcome the vibrations of another new journey.

Smile at everyone you meet.

A smile is a miracle worker.

It makes us more attractive and can change our mood. No one can deny that smiling is contagious. Many have written that smiling relieves stress, boosts your immune system, and releases endorphins and serotonin. A smile can light up your face and make you look younger. A smile is a gift that we receive only by giving to others!

The greatest gift of a smile is that it keeps nothing for itself. Its purpose is to give, to console, to inspire, to cherish, to love, to multiply. Give yours freely to others. Spread happiness and feel it grow inside you. Be contagious.

Your smile brings light to the world. Would you deny the world moments of brightness?

Share your thoughts.

My thoughts are my own, and unsolicited.

Contribute to Tiny Buddha and other sites that inspire your spirit.

Submit your best effort at expressing your thoughts. Post a comment on the efforts of others. Why wait until there’s a free book giveaway to share a few words? The world wants to hear what you have to say.

As I’m sure you’ve read here many times, blog posts can arrive at just the right moment in a person’s life. Send your thoughts on their way. Someone may welcome them with open arms.

It takes courage to put your thoughts out there. Be courageous. It only takes a few moments.

Practice compassion.

Many years ago my niece died of cancer at the age of twenty-one. She was an adventurous spirit, confident and vocal. I spent many afternoons and evenings with her hand in mine as she rested uncomfortably. Her facial expressions unmasked the pain that spread within her dying body.

On better days she would tell me how she loved her visits with other patients, most of them much younger than her. These same young children I passed in the hallways, brave young children wheeling their life support beside them, and almost always smiling. I have no doubt that my niece helped create a few of those smiles.

As we all know, cancer spreads far beyond the children’s hospital that lovingly cared for my niece. We can make a difference in the lives of others by sharing our time and compassion.

Jacque’s favorite expression was “cool beans!” I don’t hear it often, but when I do, it’s like turning my gaze toward the sunshine.

Feed the hungry.

like to eat, and I would wager that you do too!

I was raised on meat and potatoes with sit-down family dinners, and never wanted for food on the table. I miss my mother’s cooking and the early evening conversations.

What I’ve never had to do is stand on a street corner and beg for food, dig through restaurant trash bins, or go to bed hungry.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, hunger touches every community.

Every community also has a food bank. It’s very easy to volunteer, and many who are hungry will benefit from your actions.

Live a giving life.

Life becomes complicated when its difficulties overpower our capacity to love others, to share our compassion, and to simply find time in our busy schedules to live a giving life.

Make a difference! Give to receive! Reap what you sow!

No matter what situation you find yourself in, come from a place of kindness and you will always treat others in the way they’re meant to be treated.

Let go of complicated. Choose simple. Make

HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

We’ve all felt comfortable in one surrounding and uncomfortable in some. The surrounding you feel comfortable is your comfort zone. You can be yourself, talk freely and express your heart out when in your comfort zone.
But we can’t always stay there. Some situations require us to step out of it and deal with the real world, the one that would not be so comfortable. 

Of course, everyone enjoys being their comfort zone but that might hinder our growth somewhere in life.

The fear we feel when we encounter such a situation limits us from grabbing some wonderful opportunities. We fear being mocked or rejected and as a result, we stop taking action. 

Now, this may seem like a one-time thing but if this continues to happen for a long period of time, it may turn into an anxiety disorder.
As cosy as your comfort zone may seem, it is not deniable that it keeps you from life experiences, professional opportunities and personal growth.

It is very essential to explore the unfamiliar. Be it professionally or personally. Getting out of your comfort zone can be difficult but it is not impossible.

Some of the steps you can follow to get out of your comfort zone are:

  1. Identify your fears:

First, you need to evaluate what makes you the most afraid? When was the last time you felt afraid or uncomfortable? How did your body react to your fear?
Once you know what makes you uncomfortable and what effect it has on your body, it will be easy for you to identify what makes you uncomfortable. It allows you to open up in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. 

  1. Reminding yourself that you are fearless:

Everybody needs a little push sometimes to move ahead. And sometimes you are the only one who can give yourself that push. Every time you face a situation where you feel uncomfortable all you need is a reminder that you are fearless and can achieve anything you set your mind to. You can overcome all the uncomfortable situations and seize all the opportunities that come your way. Next time you do something out of your comfort zone whisper to yourself “I am fearless”.

  1. Recall your accomplishments:

You must have been in an awkward situation in the past and somehow nailed it perfectly. Recall that moment and every other such moment where you thought you couldn’t do it but did it anyway. These accomplishments may be small but they make a huge difference. Remember them and never give up.

  1. Find a valid reason:

If you are stepping out of your comfort zone there must be some solid reason for it. Find that reason and always keep that in mind. You may or may not succeed but you’ll learn something for sure. 

  1. Don’t chose the safe option:

Imagine you are standing on a diverging road, you know one road by heart and are completely unfamiliar about the other. Don’t choose the first road because that is your comfort zone. To your surprise the second road may be unfamiliar but may be prettier than the first road. Even if it’s not, you’ll experience something new. So, always choose the option which does not seem safe or comfortable to you.

  1. Set small challenges:

You are your biggest competitor. Setting small challenges and outdoing yourself is a great way to get out of your comfort zone. After successfully completing these challenges, you will feel accomplished and more confident. This will help you to not give up just yet.

These were some of the simple and most common ways to get out of your comfort zone.
Personally, I’ve been afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone but these steps have helped me a lot. And speaking from experience stepping out of your comfort zone is totally worth it.