Hope for the best, but expect less

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. -Bruce Lee

A friend’s status update on a social media site: ‘Who hurt you? My own expectations.’

Yes, we all have expectations in our lives: what we want out of life and who we want to become. I believe one of the keys to happiness lies within the management of your expectations of people and circumstances. If you do not have expectations, you can never be disappointed. Often we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. But, unfortunately, this does not always happen.

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. You need to make sure you enter into relationship with someone who has as big of a heart as you do. If you do not, you may feel as if you are being taken advantage of. You need to find people who appreciate what you do for them and who will reciprocate those actions.

There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality or lower your expectations. Having realistic expectations will allow you to accept the flaws each person has. We need to learn how to take responsibility for our own lives and our own decisions before we can expect others to do the same.

One of the biggest challenges we face in life is learning to accept people for who they truly are. Once you realize that your expectations cannot change people, the better off you will be. Give without expectation, accept without reservation, and love with hesitation. Unrealistic expectations most often do lead to disappointment. Too many people are obsessed with finding the perfect career or the perfect spouse, and as a result become increasingly frustrated when this does not happen in reality.

Expectation is the root of all heartache. Try to remain confident while maintaining positive aspirations; just remember not to make the aspirations so high that they are impractical or unreachable.

Acceptance is an amazing trait that needs to be actively worked toward. When things do not work out the way we had planned, it is much more beneficial to realize that is how life works rather than becoming frustrated at the situation. Have hope rather than expectations and you will tend not to be as disappointed.

People rarely behave exactly the way you want them to. Hope for the best, but expect less. And remember, the magnitude of your happiness will be directly proportional to your thoughts and how you choose to think about things. Even if a situation or relationship doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it, if it made you feel something new, taught you something afresh.

What are different types of aggressions

Researchers identify two types of aggression related to sports: instrumental aggression and hostile aggression.What is instrumental aggression?By nature, certain sports (such as football, ice hockey, etc.) have higher levels of contact between players. Thus, they inevitably include more aggression. But such violence is often within the bounds of the game. You often need to play with a certain measure of physical aggressiveness in order to win. That’s instrumental aggression.Hostile aggression, on the other hand, is violence that goes beyond the scope of the sport. Being hostile refers to “impulsive, angry aggression intended to hurt someone who has in some way provoked an individual” (Russell, 2008). One famous example of hostile aggression in sport is a 2006 World Cup football (soccer here in the U.S.) match. After being insulted by Italian athlete Marco Materazzi in the middle of the game, French player Zinedine Zidane delivered a serious headbutt to his chest, which sent him flying to the ground. Such action was in no way necessary to the game itself; it was simply a way to retaliate against the athlete. Zidane wanted to hurt his provoker as badly as possible.Hostile Aggression Among Teen AthletesIn discussing the problem of aggression, most experts are talking about the concept of hostile – not instrumental – aggression.In surveying 800 adolescent athletes playing 10 different sports all across the U.S., Shields (2005) found that 13% of students have tried to deliberately hurt an opponent at least once during a game. Seventeen percent have said something mean to an opponent. And almost 40% have tried to “get back” at another player.

Heroes Modeling Bad Behavior

Increased media attention on pro-athletes has revealed shocking displays of violence both on and off the sports field. This has an influence on young fans, who often admire and glamorize such athletes. One researcher (Smith, 1983) asked adolescent hockey players who their favorite National Hockey League (NHL) player was. He found that there was a positive correlation between skaters whose NHL hero was aggressive and the young athlete’s own play.

Aggressive Parents

But aggressive behavior isn’t only seen on TV. Often, it’s closer to home. Certain parents could be violent and aggressive with their children at home, as well as on the sports field. (One Minnesota survey found that 17% of adolescent athletes said that an adult had hit, kicked, and slapped them while participating in sports.) Experiencing such violent behavior has a mimicking effect, says researchers. See the case of Thomas Junta and Michael Costin in 2000, and what happened to their kids thereafter.

Showing Loyalty or Seeking Revenge

Moral reasoning theory suggests that some teens think aggressive behavior is not just okay, but even the right thing to do in certain circumstances. “Aggressive behavior is often…justified by players to demonstrate loyalty to teammates, and especially injured teammates, by seeking revenge particularly in competitive, body-checking leagues,” says Cusimano (2016). Hurtful insults, mean taunts, and even stares can provoke certain players, who will then retaliate by become more aggressive (Gordon Russell, 2008). Sports psychologists note that not all athletes respond to the same provocation in the same way. Personality differences, temperament, and even regional hometown (!) change the way athletes will respond to a hurtful remark. For example, Type-A teens will be more likely to get angry when they’re insulted.

Getting Too Hot

Sounds crazy, but it really is true: environmental factors like heat leads to aggression. Science even proves it. Research on weather and crime shows that acts of violence happen most during the summer. In the same vein, getting hot during a sports game can make an athlete more physically aggressive. In analyzing more than 2,300 National Football League games and matching them up with the temperatures on each day, researchers found that the hotter it was, the more aggressively teams played. They determined this conclusion based on comparing temperatures to the number of aggressive penalties teams accrued. Even when the temperature is fairly mild, though (or even cold, as in ice hockey) your teen athlete could be getting warm by all the physical activity they’re doing—running, throwing a ball, tackling, etc.—not to mention all the layers they’re wearing and the gear they’re carrying.

Biological factors

Certain teens may simply be more aggressive, naturally. Studies have shown, for example, that the level of testosterone in male athletes impacts their aggressive level. (Simpson, 2001). In one experiment, male participants with both high and low testosterone levels were given escalating shocks. The males with high hormone levels responded with more aggression than the others.  Changes in hormone levels can likewise increase or reduce aggression. During puberty, for example, which is when testosterone levels generally increase, competitive aggression increases as well.

Crowd Incitement

Many times, parents, coaches and fans encourage aggression from the sidelines. After analyzing parents’ remarks at more than 40 adolescent sports games, Meân and Kassing (2008) found that many parents and sports officials encourage a “war-like” aggression on the sports field. This winning-at-all-costs mentality (as evidenced by statements like ‘kill him!’, ‘trip him,’ “Do what you gotta do,’ let ‘em have it,”) could be trickling down to their children. These adolescents are getting the message that because it’s so important to win, playing aggressively is okay. To them, the sport transforms from “play” to “war” – because that’s what they’re hearing from the crowd.

Living Up to Expectations

They’re nervous about performing well. About 13% of parents admit they’ve angrily criticized their child’s sport performance after a game. (Shields, 2005). Oftentimes, sports have become so important to the parent, and the parent has such high expectations for performance and the winning of the game, that many children are probably “playing much more aggressively than they would if their main objective was to hang out with their friends and have fun.” Research shows that parents underestimate the pressure they place on their young athletes to succeed.

Changing the Culture: Sportsmanship First

According to a Monitoring the Future survey, 71% of adolescent boys and 68% of adolescent girls participate in school sports. With so many teen athletes playing sports, it’s important to understand the factors that can lead to hostile aggression and take any steps one can to reduce it.

For parents, this could mean being mindful of their interactions with their children. Parents who are calm and try their best to reduce angry outbursts (not just at sports games, but also at home) are more likely to produce children who will act similarly. Likewise, parents can do their best in maintaining a low-stress approach to sports so as not to pressure their young athletes. In regards to media exposure, parents can also try to limit how much violence their teens are exposed to by monitoring their TV and media consumption.

Though some factors linking to aggression (such as personality or hormone levels) are out of one’s control, youth sports officials can try to create an atmosphere where hurtful taunts, songs and chants are discouraged, and positive sportsmanship is encouraged. This might limit the number of provocations in the game and thus the number of fights between athletes. In the same vein, angry spectator violence – which is shown to have a mimicking effect on adolescents – should have appropriate consequences.

Feeling alone

LONELINESS is packed with feelings and emotions. It can consume you at any time – day or night – and create havoc with your emotions. Feeling lonely can cause you to lose perspective and, sometimes, to lose all hope. Even before COVID, we lived in an isolated culture where people were starved for connection. And now with the fear of COVID, loneliness is even more intensified.

There are days when my life is filled with the sound of voices on the phone, or pictures of friends on Zoom and Facetime, and yet, I feel alone. There have been times in my life when I would walk in a church filled with people, or show up at a party where I knew everyone, and yet, I felt alone. At some point, we’ve all experienced feelings of being alone and the shadow of loneliness that follows close behind.

Being alone isn’t a bad thing. It’s a good, necessary, healthy thing. It’s a time to reflect, to appreciate, to think, to create, to process your life. Reflection and synthesis of ideas is crucial to learning and growing, and for many people this can only be done when they are alone. Kierkegaard nails this with one of my favorite quotes: “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Damn, Kierkegaard, I bet you spent a ton of time alone.

So why are we so damned afraid of being alone?

Because we’re afraid others will think we’re lonely. There’s something wrong with lonely people, or else why wouldn’t they have people around them? There must be something broken about them! If you learn someone is lonely, you best stay away from them. Leave them to their cats. Loneliness results in more loneliness; it’s a beast that feeds itself. (Please know that I don’t believe any of this — or at least I don’t want to, but these are thoughts that I hear in my head, because Society)

I’m not lonely! I have 2200 facebook friends. Look at all the things I share. Look at all those likes! I have all the likes! And retweets. Don’t even get me started on retweets. I have to call them RTs because I get so many I don’t even have time for all those other letters. Look at me on Instagram! Follow me! #TeamFollowBack Connect with me! Please, please, connect with me. How am I so damned lonely?! Nobody else feels this lonely. Look at all the friends they have on Facebook. Look at all those likes they’re getting…

We are living in a time when it’s easy to feel uncomfortable being alone, because there are so many ways you can “be” with other people. So we’re never truly alone. And that makes it ever more uncomfortable when we feel lonely.

I saw someone post a photo on Facebook last Friday night of themselves with a glass of wine and the caption “Relaxing into a much-needed quiet Friday night date with myself. #DontHate”

The irony hurt. If you really want to be alone, WHY ARE YOU TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD, my brain yelled.

Then I realized I knew the answer: this person is uncomfortable being alone on a Friday night, and this is how they are trying to mitigate that discomfort.

They are seeing all of their friends posting photos of their fun nights out with dozens of people and having so much fun and internalizing all of this as something being wrong with them. Maybe they chose to be alone tonight, or maybe they got ditched by a friend, or maybe they wanted to go out and don’t really have any friends who wanted to go out with them, but, whatever the case, they were probably terrified they would slip from enjoying a night alone into being lonely on a Friday night. The first is good. The second is bad. And maybe a “like” or a reassuring comment would stave that off.

spend a lot of time on the road traveling alone. And during the day, when I’m performing, or visiting a campus, or flying, eating, writing — keeping my mind busy — I’m on the road traveling alone; I’m not lonely on the road. And I enjoy it. I enjoy the aloneness. I thrive in it. But at night, when I get back to my hotel room and plop down on the bed, I regularly toe the line between being alone and being lonely.

I am usually good at landing on the enjoying a night alone side of the line, but sometimes, usually after a particularly long stretch on the road, of if a show doesn’t go as well as I want it to, I’ll find myself stumbling onto the lonely side. It probably doesn’t help that I have this disgusting and self-body-destroying habit of having a huge pizza delivered to my hotel room and eating it by myself in my underwear. And, as I am typing that, I am reminded of this

COVID-19 TREATMENT AT HOME

With the increasing number of cases day by day, India witnessed a high demand of ventilators, oxygen cylinders, injections, medicines and beds. People are struggling for even a breath due to lack of oxygen supply. The corona virus pandemic has challenged the health care system of India and has seriously disturbed the mental balance of the front-line workers. People who reach out to the hospitals for better care and medical assistance are being sent back at their respective homes in home isolation in order to save those who are critically affected by the disease.

Here are some tips suggested by doctors which could improve the quality of care which you can offer to your family/friends/relatives who have tested positive for covid.

The first and the foremost thing to do under such a scenario is to isolate the patient, followed by sincere monitoring of the patient’s health for which some monitoring equipments are required such as a pulse oximeter to keep a regular check on the patient’s oxygen saturation level, thermometer for monitoring body temperature, gloves, mask , garbage disposal bag and hand sanitizers to avoid infection from the patient, and a separate washroom if possible. Proper ventilation in the isolation room is equally important. Keep the windows open and the fans on. Thermometer and pulse oximeter are the most important monitoring devices. Always wipe them before use to ensure correct readings. In every six hours, the following things should be monitored:

  1. Pulse
  2. Oxygen Saturation
  3. Body temperature

Take two readings of oxygen saturation level. (1) While sitting (2) After exercising for 1 minute (sit and stand for 1 minute). If the oxygen saturation is above 94%, continue to monitor the same, no need of hospitalization. If oxygen saturation is between 92 to 94%, continue monitoring after every four hours (in rest position only). If oxygen saturation level is below 92%, immediately contact your doctor. Fever is also to be monitored after every six hours. If the body temperature is high than normal, the patient can be given 1gm paracetamol in every 6-8 hours depending upon the body temperature.

Ensure sufficient hydration of the patient. Inhaled Steroids like BUDESONIDE can help the patient in such a situation. The prescribed dosage of BUDESONIDE is 800 MCG twice daily through the spacer. These steroids usually come in aerosol packages.

If the oxygen saturation of the patient continues to decline from 92%, the patient should immediately arrange for hospitalization. But if the beds are unavailable and hospitalization is not possible, the patient could be given any ONE of the following medicines- (1) Dexamethasone 6mg/day or equivalent steroid (2) Prednisone 40mg (3) Methylprednisolone 30mg (4) Hydrocortisone 150 mg.

It is highly recommended and scientifically proven to lie down in prone position. This position increases oxygen saturation level in the body. In severe conditions, an oxygen cylinder or nasal canula would also be required to increase declining oxygen levels.

Signs of improvement include oxygen levels higher that 92%, respiratory rate less than 24 breaths per minute and the patient experience no breathlessness.

The following are the drugs which are NOT recommended/useful by doctors:

Azithromycin, hydroxychloroquine, doxycycline, favipravir, ivermectin, remdesivir (can only be used upon doctor’s prescription)

The above tips are derived directly from highly reputed doctors but it is advisable to kindly consult your doctor before following the above tips. Stay home, save lives.

LOCKDOWn-RIGHT OR WRONG?

Lockdown-Right or Wrong?
We are facing the difficult times of our history.We are fighting with an enemy who is too powerful and the secret of its death is not revealed till now.Corona is that powerful enemy we are fighting with.It is attacking our life too badly and we are too much afraid with its power.We have no idea how to deal with it-how to protect ourselves,our family,our friends,our nation.Our government is trying too protect us from this killer-virus.Some vaccines are also produced by the scientists.But that is not sufficient to protect our lives as the vaccines can reduce the effect of the corona virus but can not fully kill it.We need some other weapons to fight with this enemy(corona).And we know the virus is spreading from persons to persons.Multiple corona cases chains are being made everyday.The healthy persons are becoming unhealthy by getting in contact with the infected persons.So it clearly indicates that the virus is spreading from one being to another.And if we really want to stop this then we have to break these corona chains to make our people safe.So we have a weapon named as LOCKDOWN to fight with this enemy named corona.Lockdown is a situation where unnecessary activities are being stopped and the risk of virus spreading is controlled.Only necessary activities are being allowed in a particular place.
But what do you think-Lockdown is right or wrong?
Different people have different needs.

Advantages :

  1. Lockdown Ensures Public Health Safety
    Public Health Emergency is why the government enforces a lockdown. This scenario is the preliminary phase of a Medical emergency that halts the movement of viral infections by ceasing movements of humans.

A person is allowed to go out of the home for essential needs only. A lockdown is put to effect when a country has not adequate antidote or cure to curb the impact of a pandemic.

  1. Controlling Pollution
    Blatant to eyes, during a lockdown people tend to minimize using their vehicles and automobiles including public transport. Industrial activities are also restricted during the lockdown phase, which also results in minimal emission of pollutants into water bodies and atmosphere.

Venice, Italy can be taken as the ideal outcome of lockdown. After declaring a lockdown after the COVID-19 outbreak, the fall in number of tourists turned out to be vital for the canals of Venice.

  1. Balancing the Ecosystem
    Being progressive and dynamic is what humans need to survive on earth. But, sometimes we also forget that nature treats every creature the same. Where lockdown seems quite disturbing to the humankind, it is turning out to be environment-friendly.

A clean and fresh atmosphere is what springs wildlife and brings balance to the ecosystem ultimately. With stopping the combustion of resources and fuels, animals get the benefit of lockdown entirely. Lockdown is a restorative process for many species that are extinct at the moment.

  1. Encouraging Healthy Lifestyle
    Sounds rhetoric, but that sometimes a strict and disciplined lifestyle is what can be beneficial during a lockdown. Staying indoors means, you can capitalize on your time and money on your health and the things that surround you. Access to food and healthcare items means you cannot access liquor or smokes even though you have an extreme urge or craving for such.

For chain smokers and alcoholics, Lockdown seems a lifetime opportunity to stay bid goodbye to unhealthy practices. Also, you can draw yourself to good habits and utilize the creative side of your brain investing your time in healthy exercises and activities.

  1. Staying Indoors Means Family Time
    For the people with busy and hectic work life, Lockdown narrows all the possibility of missing out on your memorable moments with family. Limited and restricted contacts lead you to stay close to your loved ones which can’t ever be possible while you are occupied at the workplace.

You tend to learn to share some quality time with your family and staying together at the worst of times. As the saying goes, “Bad Times Brings us Closer.”

Disadvantages:

  1. Unemployment Crisis :Becoming the world’s first country, India had enforced an experimental lockdown for 21 days. This 21-day lockdown has put India on the verge of an economic crisis. With no further reports or orders on how long this lockdown might get extended, people with no job security (daily wagers) dreaded job loss due to this emergency.

Even though many governments assure to supply unessential workers to guard their life with benefits, not all the affected people are able to entertain the benefits. Around 3.3 million people alone in the USA had applied for unemployment claims endangered by the pandemic fearing a job loss.

2.Disturbance in System Machinery
From manufacturing to R&D sectors, from Blue-collar to White-collar employees, the work machinery gets into total disarray. One of the most concerning and noticeable downsides of lockdown situations is its impact on the education system. The pandemic strikes the developed and the developing nations equally.

With nations relying on digital modes of education, the education system may still be in order. But the businesses are severely impacted. While with developing nations, the situation is exactly upside down.

3.Displacement of Daily Wagers
Bringing an entire country to Lockdown can result in massive exodus even if the citizens are not allowed to do so. Heading back to New Delhi (India) where blue-collar employees had no employment benefits like US-Citizens with no job security.

With a population of more than 1.3 billion, the Indian government had gambled with many lives. On the fourth day of lockdown, many migrant laborers stranded in New Delhi had to flee the Capital City due to lack of shelter, food, money and imposed restrictions due to public health emergencies.

4.Black Marketing and Food Shortage
With limited time to buy food and other essential supplies, people tend to buy more items than usual and stockpile. Many consumers are left empty-handed since the supply of commodities during a lockdown gets shortened by many reasons.

Where some people stockpile the commodities, some may panic due to a shortage of supplies. This situation may lead to price-hike and also shortage. Black Marketing is one of the dreadful drawbacks of lockdown, where people have to spend more to fulfill their basic needs.