Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic personality disorder or NDP is a personality disorder characterized by grandiosity. You may see it in people who have an inflated ego, with little regards to others. It is important to note that NDP is a psychiatric condition, and it is more complex than simply being arrogant. It’s distressing for those who have it and for those who’re around them. Hoping to shed some light on the condition, and sign that a person should seek help. While much of T.V and movies portray narcissism as people who feel like they’re better than everyone else, it’s usually not just the case.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists. The psychological definition of narcissism is an inflated, grandiose self-image. To varying degrees, narcissists think they’re better looking, smart and more important than other people and that they deserve special treatment.

Psychologists recognize two form of narcissism as personality traits:

  • Grandiose
  • Vulnerable

What is NDP?

  • NPD is a personality disorder in which the person feels self-important and craves constant validation.
  • Their feelings of superiority often hint at a deeper problem.
  • As their need of validation often comes from a place of insecurity and instability rather than genuine self love which they may not be aware of.

What causes NPD?

  1. While the cause of NPD is unknown, researchers believe that it has to do with a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
  2. It’s believed that 6% of people have this disorder. Men have a higher chance of this disorder than women.
  3. Some believe that NPD is developed to cope with trauma and feelings of inadequacy. Others believe it may be learned in early childhood from dealing with anything, from abuse to excessive pampering.
  4. There is even a debate as to how much of the disorder is passed down from parents to children acquiring the disorder.

What are the signs and Symptoms?

The feeling of grandiosity where they feel that they’re superior to others and low empathy are often seen in those with NPD; they don’t care much for others expecting to receive constant validation.

  • People with NPD feel as though they’re entitled to whatever they want which can be dangerous as it can manifest into toxic relationships.
  • They may manipulate others to get what they want.
  • They brag and exaggerate their achievements or feel envious of anyone that outperforms them, but deep down the person with NPD may be really dealing with their own feeling of inadequacy.

How to get help?

  • People with NPD may not seek help for the disorder itself as they may not know that there’s an issue.
  • Usually, people are diagnosed because they seek treatment for other issues such as depression or addiction.

However people who feel that they may have the condition and urged to reach out for help. NPD and the underlying feelings of inadequacy can be treated. It not only benefits the individual, but also to people around them.

What treatment options are available?

People diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder will most likely work with a therapist using psychotherapy methods.

Other self-improving activities such as:-

  • Doing exercises and,
  • Hobbies may be used in conjunction with therapy.

Coming to a conclusion, we do live in a very materialistic and Consumersious society and as long as that’s the case, narcissism is going to win because it’s about putting yourself first and not caring as much about others. Not to mention people with NPD can be very generous when it’s going to get them what they need. They may buy everyone big dinners and take everyone on a big vacation so it creates this illusion that there’s lots of people all around them, because it’s all the stuff that they’re making possible for them. It’s important to know that treatment is available and that life can be made more manageable.


Ever thought why do we get attract to someone? Well everyone has different answer to it. For some it can be the way one look, smiled, walk or may be their was an unusual aura around that one.

What is attraction?

Attraction, especially in a romantic way, is a complex process that take place in our brains, and has had it’s roots since it’s beginning of the humankind. It’s our minds way of telling us who has the potential to be our partner, our friend, or even our soulmate, and is based on a complex blend of our interest, values, experience, and desire. Physical and romantic attraction, which are often focused on, are only small facets of a much larger equation.

Psychologist look at the ingredients of attraction is in a form of pyramid, split into 4 different sections.

The base of the pyramid is made up of health and status:-

  • Status – 1. internal (confidence, self set, beliefs) 2. External (person’s job, possession and appearance.
  • Health – Physical attributes, smell, basic level of intelligence.

If the potential partners passes these initial requirements then we move to the center of the pyramid, which are the emotional factors:- includes

  • trust comfort someone wants,
  • their emotions intelligence, and
  • unique characteristics.

The final portion of the pyramid is “Logic”.This is the part that differentiate us from other animals, and is the part where our brains seriously

  • considers whether we are totally compatible for that person.
  • It ensure that the other person is aligned with us in term of what they want – things such as marriage, children, even the city they want to live.

According to this model, the more alignment there is, the more attraction there is, but it doesn’t always have to follow from bottom to top – like online dating.

What makes someone Attractive?

The answer to this questions make come to our mind is physical traits. Due to the influence of media, we tend to favor women who is younger, and more feminine features, in men on the other side, qualities such as broad shoulders, a deep voice, and strong jawline are highly upon.

Scientists suggest that, these also have an evolutionary origin because these traits are associated with a higher chance of producing health offspring and passing of good genes. Also, values, culture, and the environment, that we grow in also plays an important role.

Hence, attractiveness is complex, there’s a number of different perspective to consider, and at the end of the day, there’s very little we can choosing who we are attracted to. As each person looks for unique set of traits and, while physical traits are often focused there are far more factors that come into play. A person’s upbringing, behavior and even lifestyle have major influence. The most important thing to remember is to be happy and make the most of it.

Trauma and Its Effect on Relationships

Traumatic incidents are uncontrollable, distressing events that leave a lasting imprint on the people they affect. People who have survived trauma often continue to live normal lives, but the effects of trauma may impact mood, motivation and relationships. It’s normal to experience some changes after a distressing and uncontrollable event, and it’s important to know when to seek supportive trauma treatment.

All humans have unique life experiences and backgrounds, and each person may react to a traumatic incident in a unique way. Events that are traumatic to one person may not feel as distressing to another person. Everyone reflects on and recovers from trauma in their own way, and it may have differing effects on relationships, confidence and the sense of overall safety each person experiences.

Types of Trauma

There are different types of trauma. Some people experience a single traumatic event in a given time period, while others experience what is known as “complex trauma.” Complex trauma occurs when traumatic incidents are repeated, or when new, unique traumas continually occur. For instance, complex trauma may occur in families that struggle with domestic violence, addiction, poverty, chronic illness or ongoing community violence.

Both single-incident trauma and complex trauma can impact relationships with co-workers, friends, spouses, family members and the relationship with self.

If you experience some of the following symptoms, trauma may be affecting your life:

  • Irritability or chronic anger
  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia or difficult sleep
  • Agitation, impatience or an inability to sit still
  • Intrusive memories, nightmares or flashbacks
  • Feeling “out of body” or disconnected from other people
  • Becoming “shut down” or unable to accomplish goals
  • Struggles with depression or unhappiness
  • Changes in appetite
  • Needing to have things a “certain way” or repeat activities over and over
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Engaging in risky, dangerous or unusual behaviours
  • Wanting to hurt yourself or others
  • Difficulty trusting others
  • Feeling unsafe
  • Using drugs, alcohol or behaviours to numb anxiety or distress
  • Avoiding friends, loved ones or activities you used to enjoy
  • Worsening of other mental health issues or diagnoses

How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships

Many people experience some type of traumatic incident before the age of 18. Psychologists agree that our early family environment can impact our adult relationships. Traumatic incidents that occur during childhood can become part of a person’s adult attachment style.

As children, we look to our parents and other trusted adults to help us form ideas about the world. Children want to know if other people are trustworthy if the world is a safe place and if their loved ones will be there for them if they are in need. The information they gain from the close adults in their lives helps form lasting impressions of the nature of love, friendship and trust.

Childhood experiences can create particular attachment styles that last well into adulthood. A person’s attachment style reflects how warm or close that person likes to be in relationships. Attachment style can influence the way we communicate with others, and how we handle separations, arguments and intimacy.

As adults, we can change maladaptive attachment styles through personal insight, counselling and support. Taking time to improve relationships can also improve other conditions, such as anxiety, PTSD or depression.

Consider the following styles of attachment, and see if any might apply to you or someone you love.

Secure attachment: A secure attachment style is the healthiest attachment style. People who have secure attachments often had supportive childhood caregivers. These individuals feel comfortable connecting with others, asking for help as needed, and sharing emotions with others to a reasonable and healthy extent. People with secure attachment do not live in fear of abandonment or rejection, and they have a healthy view of themselves and others.

Dismissive-avoidant attachment: Individuals with this type of attachment (also known as “insecure-avoidant”) often experienced childhood neglect or rejection from caregivers. These individuals may avoid being close to others and often strive to be very independent, even to extremes. They may be more likely to keep secrets or fear threats to their perceived independence.

Fearful-avoidant attachment: These individuals may have experienced some type of childhood abuse, chaos or neglect. This attachment style often occurs when loved caregivers are also a source of pain. The resulting attachment style may make these adults afraid to be alone, but also afraid of closeness and intimacy. They often have difficulty trusting others and may alternate from one extreme of closeness to complete avoidance.

Anxious-preoccupied attachment: This attachment style occurs when adults have experienced constant childhood change, inconsistent parents or caregivers who alternate between extreme attentiveness and distant coldness. As adults, these individuals experience a great deal of anxiety about their relationships; they may be clingy, needy or hypersensitive to any changes in their partner. This anxiety may drive loved ones away, thus becoming a bit of a “self-fulfilling prophecy” of abandonment.

Adult Trauma Disorders and Recovery from Trauma

Trauma that occurs in adulthood can also change attachment styles, because trauma impacts the way we see the world as a whole. Often, intimate partners, spouses and family members witness the most intense effects of an individual’s trauma. It can be frightening, confusing and difficult to witness the effects of trauma in a loved one.

Spouses and partners can also experience emotional after-effects of trauma together. Those partners who experience trauma at the same time may cope with the trauma in different ways, and those coping skills may strengthen or destroy relationships.

The good news is that it is very possible for spouses or families to grow closer and stronger after trauma. Family members who are educated about trauma often see better outcomes for themselves and their loved ones.7That is why it is absolutely imperative to seek supportive treatment for the effects of trauma