Self care is not selfish thing

Often times, when we do something for ourselves, it is considered selfish. Growing up it is common to be taught to take care of other people and put others first. However, when it comes to our mental and emotional health, these types of actions of neglecting yourself to put others first can have huge consequences.

Self-care can be confusing and it can make you feel like you are putting too much attention on yourself. But remember, self-care never has and never will be selfish, especially when it comes to mental health.

In order to take care of other people, you must take care of yourself first. 

Why Self-Care is Important

Self-Care is one of the most important things that a person can do for themselves. It is not only vital for your physical health, but also your emotional and mental health as well.

There are many misconceptions around self-care and what exactly it entails. However, self-care is really not that complicated. At the most basic level,

self-care is just doing good things for yourself. This could be anything from working out, to taking an hour every night to journal, anything that makes you feel good.

Self-care requires you to know and understand yourself. You are forced to listen to your body and mind, understand what resources are running low and what you have to do to replenish them. 

There are many benefits that come with performing self-care. Some of them include increased productivity, improved resistance to illnesses & better physical health are just a few. These benefits are just the beginning.  Some of the other, more personal benefits are, enhanced self-esteem, increased self-knowledge, and most importantly, you have more to give to other people.

When you are mindful about reguarily carving out time for yourself and making sure that your physical, emotional, and mental needs are being met, you will feel better in all aspects of your life.

This makes it easier for you to work with and help others in their time of need. Just like when you are on an airplane, you have to take care of yourself before you can help anyone else. 

Stigma Around Self-Care

Self-care can be hard, not only because of the stigma that surrounds it, but because it can be extremely difficult to admit that you need help or to take care of yourself when you are struggling with your own mental health.

Growing up, it is extremely common to hear that you should put others before yourself. Kids are taught that being too vain or thinking about yourself is selfish. When you take time to take care of yourself, friends and family may start to get frustrated or say that you need to spend more time thinking about others and spending time with them.

Read also: We need support, not stigma. How do we end the stigma around mental illness and start talking about it?

However, the worst stigma, is self-stigma. The voice in your head that tells you to stop focusing on yourself, saying that you don’t deserve the time or attention that you are giving yourself.

You start to think about all of the things that you are neglecting and the people who deserve your attention more. However, this self-stigma, and any outside stigma, is far from true.

By taking care of yourself you are making sure that you will be able to help and encourage others.  

How you can Take Care of Yourself 

Self-care can be difficult because of the stigma that comes with it. However, understanding how, and being able to take care of yourself is one of the strongest things that you can do.

It is also important to distinguish between the things that actually make you feel good and things that you think make you feel good, but often have the reverse effect, like drugs & alcohol, over-eating, and taking risks. 

There are many different types of self-care; the most well-known is physical self-care. When people say that they are trying to take care of themselves this is often what they mean.

Physical self-care can be helpful not only for your physical health but also to help you let off steam. This doesn’t have to be going to the gym, it can also mean dancing around the house to your favorite song, doing yoga, or going outside and going for a walk. This could also be taking a nap when you need some extra rest or giving yourself a break when you are down or unwell.

However, while physical health is important and this type of self-care can make a huge difference, it can also be harmful to your mental health if you focus on your physical self too much and too often. Working out and getting the ‘perfect’ body isn’t what self-care is all about.

It is vital to remember the other parts of yourself that need to be taken care of, make sure that you aren’t focusing on the outer-self to avoid taking care of your inner-self. 

Sensory self-care helps to calm the mind. This will help you to live in the moment, focus better, and let go of the past and forget your anxieties.

This type of self-care is all about sight, smell, touch, and sound. This could be considered sitting outside at the beach, enjoying the feeling of the water on your skin from a shower or a bath, or listening to calming music. Anything that helps you feel calm and relaxed. 

Education is life

Today the World is becoming a superficial place. Our time appoints the absurd, making social networks as a real-world by a considerable part of the younger generations.

It is a virtual reality, more precise than high-definition video games, more addictive and harmful to the mind and the body.

This fake reality indeed kills the neurons converting people into zombies led by a leader of unknown appearance.

Ignorance acts as the lock, and manipulation working as the key entering every mind. Then, it hacks and promotes war even over the most absurd topic that any influencer shares in a post.

The social network profile becomes an epicentre of empty universes, universes that conflict with the real-life, where, as in the war, leads to the destruction of entire generations.

Using actualized tools, but the same indoctrination mechanisms used in the world wars. Again, the end justifies it, annulling individuals’ conscience and making them members of the social mass.

Even though each social profile is seemingly unique, there is no perspective on what life is in its essence. The network is a game that only favours some private interests.

We know the truth: countries born from interests, wars arise, passions move. Interests motivate greed. Greed sooner or later destroys life. Life, which, without a doubt, is the only thing we have.

Blood wars are no longer an option in our time across the rich countries. New wars are too expensive and risky.

Wars are now abstract. Wars involve factual powers whose shadow is unknown and whose attacks are directed to control the terrestrial and the extraterrestrial.

The end of empires has never come. In our time, empires are mainly commercial, managing everything that allowed us to be free.

Now empires dictate what to be and how to be.

Indeed, commercial or blood, all war implies the destruction of every trace that makes us human.

Every war, directly and indirectly, destroys our soul and breaks the only thing we take when we leave.

War destroys what we have lived and what we will no longer discover for ceasing to be ourselves.

There are not strong leaders to help us. Corruption and secrets are always leaked by someone who is behind the scenes.

We are the unique leaders of our time; we are the bosses of our destiny.

We must not perish. Responding to Hamlet, the worthiest thing for the soul is to fight for our fortune, live our lives, and rebel against this wild sea of misery.

The only thing that saves us from interest, the only thing that separates us from greed, the only thing that allows us to see reality is education.

However, all education is written by the victors and not by the vanquished. Our salvation involves investigating, delving into every little remorse and lack of meaning of our multiple thoughts.

The only thing that educates us is ourselves.

What do I mean when I say “Education for Life?” I can present the problem and the solution. The problem is that people in traditional forms of education usually approach it from the standpoint of just preparing a person for a job. But one’s job isn’t the definition of one’s life—it’s only that which enables you to have enough money to meet your needs. Our lives encompass a much broader arena than one’s capacity to earn money. Any educational system that teaches only job skills or offers only intellectual information is neglecting the essential needs of human beings. The solution is a form of education that trains us in that which is most relevant to us—how to find lasting happiness in life.

We deeply need proper training in “how-to-live” skills such as how to find the right mate, how to raise our children, how to be a good employee, how to get along with our neighbors, and how to concentrate our minds so that we can draw success into all our endeavors. There are many such skills that are essential to prepare a child for adulthood, and in traditional education many of them are completely ignored. Education for Life is a system that prepares the child to face the challenges of living as a human being, and helps him to achieve balance and harmony in all he does. What we’re really talking about is preparing everyone, not just children, for true maturity. This is a much bigger concept than just coming of age. As defined it in the book, Education for Life, maturity is the ability to relate appropriately to other realities than one’s own. You’ll find that even people of advanced years are often childish and immature with regard to this definition, yet this ability to relate to others’ realities is what education should accomplish.

Internet Banking

The innovations of information technology and internet have opened the new horizons to the Banking service delivery to the customers. Banking services are available on the finger tips of the customer via Internet Banking. Internet Banking, Net Banking or online banking allows you to perform various financial and non-financial transactions in your account with a click of button without visiting branch or ATM. It offers you a whole lot of features that earlier available only with the branch

In today’s fast-paced life, you need on-demand banking solutions for a better lifestyle. Internet Banking service gives you complete control over fund in your accounts online. Say bid-adieu to long queues and tired teller counter clerk. Now do banking from the comfort of your home or office, vacations ANYWHERE and ANYTIME!

Internet banking allows banking user to get connected to it’s bank’s internet banking portal to perform desire banking functions. If you are a Bank customer then you can avail Internet Banking facility after having received secure access of your net banking account from your bank. After secure login you will have direct access to your account. All the banking functions, financial and non-financials, that bank has made available on the internet banking mode will be displayed in menu of your online user account. You can select to perform any transaction and further result will be as per the policy for the nature of the service.

Your internet banking works on the concept of data centralization in the core banking system and allowing restricted access through net banking channel.

You must be apprehensive about the safety and security of online banking. Nelito’s Internet Banking product has following features to make your banking safe and secure:

  • Internet Banking product is developed on SSL protocol and 128-bit encryption technology to provide a secure channel for data exchange – which keeps your online banking data secure and safe.
  • Customer login is also verified at 2 levels by userid-password combination and PAN Number or Date of Birth authentications.
  • 2 Factor Authentication (2FA) requires you to input OTP (One Time Password) sent only on to your registered mobile number for all key transactions.
  • Your login session gets expired after a certain period in case there is no activity in your logged in session. This secures any unauthorized access to your logged in session.
  • Tracking of wrong OTP and passwork attempts.

Thus your Netbanking is safe, fast and secure, enabling you to perform your banking transaction with total peace of mind .

Range of services and features on internet banking includes:

  • Account Balance of all accounts linked to your customer ID
  • View and Download account statement.
  • Fund transfer through NEFT & RTGS
  • Avail Different Deposit Schemes and Banking Services like insurance, credit cards, demand draft etc.
  • Cheque Status and Stop Payment Request
  • Pay government taxes
  • Pay online your utility bills like Electricity, Telephone, Subscription payments along with Charity and Donation.
  • Recharge your mobile/DTH connection.
  • 24 x 7 Money Transfer through IMPS
  • Set up standing instructions for transfer of fixed amount to be executed at fixed intervals.
  • Various non-financial transactions like cheque book request, profile change, KYC, inquiries 

Friends meaning

WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?

The defining characteristic of friendship is a preference for a particular person. However, different people may have distinct definitions of and requirements for friendship. For example, very young children may refer to someone as their “best friend” two minutes after meeting, while very shy people or individuals from reserved cultures may report having only a handful of friends during their entire lives.

There’s no absolute definition of what does or does not constitute a friendship. However, some common traits of friendship include:

  • Some degree of commitment, both to the friendship and to the other person’s well-being.
  • A desire for “regular” contact with the other person. “Regular” contact could occur once every two days or once every two years.
  • Mutual trust, concern, and compassion.
  • Shared interests, opinions, beliefs, or hobbies.
  • Shared knowledge about one another’s lives, emotions, fears, or interests.
  • Feelings of love, respect, admiration, or appreciation.

Anthropologist Robin Dunbar theorized there was a limit to how many friendships an individual can have. In general, most humans have up to 150 friends, 50 good friends, 15 close friends, and 5 intimate friends. These numbers have shown to be consistent across time, from hunter-gather societies to the age of social media.

FRIENDSHIP AND GENDER

Culture strongly affects people’s understanding of friendship. In the United States and many other industrialized wealthy nations, women tend to have more friendships than men and to invest more energy in those friendships. Romantic relationships are, for many men, a sole or primary source of friendship. So as children grow into adolescents and adolescents become adults, boys may have fewer and fewer friendships.

Cultural norms suggest that women are “better” at friendship, more communicative, or more in need of intimacy from friends. This can create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which women are more likely to have friends. Women also spend more time investing in their friendships. A man might only talk to his closest friend once every few months, while on average, women in the U.S. tend to talk longer and more frequently to their friends.

Among people in long-term relationships, women tend to do more work to sustain friendships and other close relationships. This might include sending Christmas cards, remembering birthdays, making phone calls, and updating friends on major life events.

Researchers are increasingly sounding alarm bells about an epidemic of loneliness. Loneliness can shorten a person’s life and erode their health. It may even pose greater public health risks than smoking. This suggests that gender norms about friendships may actually harm men’s health. As marriage rates decline, men without friendships may feel progressively more isolated.

Gender may also affect whom one chooses as a friend. A 2018 study found that gender discrimination can decrease the likelihood that a person will form friendships with members of a different gender. Cross-gender friendships can foster empathy, break down gender barriers, and undermine gender stereotypes. Gender norms that undermine these friendships may therefore perpetuate gender stereotypes and misogyny.

FRIENDSHIP ACROSS A LIFESPAN

Lifelong friendships can be immensely rewarding. People may draw inspiration from talking to those who knew them when they were young. Lifelong friends connect people to their history, offer insight on how a person has changed and evolved, and are often deeply connected to one another’s families. These friendships offer a sense of permanency and consistency that can be deeply reassuring at times of ambivalence, loss, or anxiety.

Sustaining a friendship across a lifespan, however, can be difficult. People’s interests and lifestyles change as they age. In childhood, a friendship might be based upon geographic closeness or a single shared interest. So a move or a change of interests can affect even long-term friendships.

Some barriers to sustaining lifelong friendships include:

  • Changes in lifestyle. For example, if one friend has a child and a marriage and the other does not, the two may struggle to relate to one another.
  • Geographic distance. Childhood friends often walk next door or hitch a ride from a parent to see one another. When time together requires a plane or long car ride, the friendship is harder to nurture.
  • Time constraints. People’s lives tend to become more demanding as they get married, have children, become caregivers for aging parents, embark on challenging careers, and accrue more financial obligations. Finding time for friends can be difficult in adulthood, especially when friends have very different lifestyles or do not live near one another.
  • Cultural values surrounding friendship. In the U.S. and in many other countries, romantic relationships are treated as the primary and most important relationship. This can cause some people to value their friendships less as they enter adult romantic relationships.
  • Shifting understandings of friendship. There’s no “right” way to have a friendship. One of the challenges of sustaining a friendship is finding a shared understanding of what the friendship should look like—how frequently to talk, what to talk about, how openly to discuss disagreements, etc. As childhood friends grow up, their desires for their friendships may change. This can leave one friend feeling like the friendship doesn’t offer enough, while the other friend feels the friendship demands too much.

Coca Cola controversy

As Cristiano Ronaldo snubbed Coca-Cola at the press conference ahead of Portugal’s Euro 2020 opener, the move had a spiralling effect all across the football fraternity. The move also coincided with the share prices of Coca-Cola dropping down, wiping off about USD 4 billion from their brand value. However, industry experts don’t feel the two incidents were related.

Highlights

  • Cristiano Ronaldo’s Coca-Cola snub at a Euro 2020 news conference has been a huge topic of discussion
  • The move also coincided with the brand value of Coke sinking by USD 4 billion
  • A market expert, however, has brushed aside any connection between the two

Ronaldo wasn’t pleased seeing Coca-Cola bottles placed on the table as he arrived to attend the press conference with Portugal manager Fernando Santos on the eve of the Hungary match. He put the Coke bottles aside and picked up a water bottle saying ‘Agua’, asking people to drink water over soft drinks.

While the move was to promote a healthier lifestyle, the fact that Coca-Cola is an official sponsor of Euro 2020, is bound to leave both the beverage brand and UEFA a little disappointed.

“Coke and UEFA will both be fuming,” sports marketing expert Tim Crow, who worked as an advisor to the beverage-maker for 20 years, was quoted as saying by The Athletic. “The fact is there’s an agreement between them, which all the FAs and players sign up to, and one of the contractual agreements is going to press conferences where you’re surrounded by the sponsors’ branding.”

It’s certainly not ideal that one of the most famous and most followed athletes on the planet makes a gesture like that. The sports marketing community will have raised more than an eyebrow in Ronaldo doing that,” he added.

A day after the incident, reports of Ronaldo’s move hurting Coca-Cola’s stock prices and brand value surfaced but Crow has dismissed any co-relation between the two incidents. Branding it as ‘complete nonsense’, Crow said that the investors in the United States of America are not impacted by what happens in a European football match’s press conference.

American investors are not driven by what happens in a press conference ahead of a European football match. It doesn’t work like that. Tonnes of stocks went down for several reasons but the two things are not related. There are a billion servings of Coke every day. I think they’ll be OK,” he said.

‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

This is the opening line of the book ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens. Set in the time of French Revolution, this historical novel gives an insight of the cause and outcome of the revolution. The revolution, which was expected to be the kickstart of the new era and new hopes, turned out to be a bloody massacre. Dickens has intricately woven his plot to align with the timeline of the real events. 

A fiction which is set in the past is Historical fiction. Such a genre mingles the fact, events as in the recorded history, and fiction, the author’s imagination. As the novel is set in the past, the characters, the places, the language, the conflict should all accord to those of that period. The plot doesn’t completely depart from the records.  All these characteristics are observed in the novel ‘A Tale of Two Cities’.

The novel features two cities London and Paris and which in turn bridges two countries England and France.  The French Revolution which occurs in France also casts its shadow on England.  The novel traces the causes of French Revolution. Though a part of it may be fictional as in the part of St. Marquis Evremonde, the novelist brings out the cruelty of the aristocrats in the embodiment of Evremonde. It brings out the horror of the age and how inhumanely the third estates were treated.  

“The mill which had worked them down, was the mill that grinds young people old; the children had ancient faces and grave voices; and upon them, and upon the grown faces, and ploughed into every furrow of age and coming up afresh, was the sigh, Hunger. It was prevalent everywhere.”

The conduct of the characters is also in congruence to the period. The time period and the cruelty of the age justifies the actions of the Defarges and the other revolutionaries. The conflict in the novel is also a parallel to the period of the revolutions. The novelist foreshadows from the very beginning of the impending terror in the novel. 

“The time was to come, when that wine too would be spilled on the street-stones, and when the stain of it would be red upon many there.”

But the conflict is not only between the aristocrats and revolutionaries but also between the innocent whose lives were claimed by the revolutionaries. This is portrayed through the misfortunes of Darnay and his family. Though they were innocent, they were pulled into the political storm of France. By providing many sides of the history, the author makes us think to which degree the revolution was successful and to which degree it was a failure.

The novel doesn’t just bring out the themes of revolution, class division, poverty but also the themes of love, hatred, self-hatred, mental health and other complex themes. The character which makes the most impact in the reader is Sydney Carton. He doesn’t fail to move the readers to tears and a character with a lot of inner conflicts which is worth analyzing. No other words can give such a powerful ending as these.

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

Thus, by going beyond the expectations of readers and by enchanting them with a descriptive language, Dickens has produced a timeless classic – ‘A Tale of Two Cities’.

Read more about Historical fiction at https://awriterofhistory.com/2015/03/24/7-elements-of-historical-fiction/

Read the novel at https://www.gutenberg.org/files/98/old/2city12p.pdf